The last time I (single parent), in high dudgeon, sent my eldest DS to his room was when he was 15 (he's 28 now ). He was 6'4" and built like the proverbial. I'm 5'4". He bent down and said, in his deep, just-broken voice 'Say please.!' I burst out laughing and he couldn't help but smile in spite of himself. He still went to his room, though. I know exactly what you mean about the moodiness, you can't do right for doing wrong, can you? And boys seem to take ages to grow out of it. And when they're so much bigger than you, potentially you have a dodgy situation, domestic violence in fact, though we can't bear to think such a thing about our babies. Confrontation is best avoided for a start, I never nagged him (much) about his room, for instance, and I never cleaned it myself - if he wanted to live like a pig in shit so be it (and he would muck out occasionally) - but hitting him in the allowance is a good one. As Lairymum said, he's full of testosterone (Chemical Weapon of Mass Destruction), or 'piss 'n' vinegar' as my own mum used to call it, and it's a hard thing (for him) to handle, he's only a baby after all, love him. He really ought to be in the Saxon Long House with a lot of other lads, having all that P & V used up on hard, physical activity but, sadly and foolishly, we don't do that any more. It always amused and amazed me, Harry Enfield and his 'Kevin and Perry' sketches; he got them off pat. I was/am a very liberal mum, but - no - and all my sons' (and daughters', for that matter) friends behave/d impeccably in my house, and there was often at least a dozen at a time (even the one with severe ADHD was never anything other than a proper young gentleman - to the amazement of his mum) with the utmost respect to me, (god help them otherwise) and it was often mooted, between mums, that perhaps we should kid-swap. Not really a serious proposition (I'd miss my lovely, placid, wonderful, never-had-a-tantrum, laid-back-practically-to-the-point-of-unconciousness, last-born and last remaining at home 14 year old ds; I've never had one like this before!)....but interesting none the less. However, forgive me, back to your problem, if your lovely boy loses his rag to the point of violence on any regular basis, sadly, for your own protection, you will have to call the rozzers, or at least, your local rozzer, for them to have just 'a word' as a shock tactic. Would they be willing to do this? Without taking it further and 'out of your hands' if you didn't want it? That's what I'd worry about, tbh. Ring 'em and ask. You have to realise you are entitled to live in your own home without the threat of violence and he has to realise what he is doing, i.e. leaving you with marks on your arm, is violence - though I bet he was sorry even if he didn't say so, wasn't he? If he was a grown man, any violence at any time would be entirely unacceptable but he's a sixteen yr old boy and just learning how to deal with it all (life), so, and because he's your baby, you're bound to make certain allowances - I did. (And they, literally, don't know their own strength - it all happens so quickly). And because you're his mother and he lives with you, you're first in the firing line. It's really a matter of outwitting the little bastards darlings, using a little kidology. If he's your eldest, you're both on a learning curve but You are the Adult. This does not automatically give you any authority, it just gives you the Advantage - oh, and all the responsibility. Therefore, use that Advantage to your, well, advantage. You?re older, you?re wiser ? you?re tireder - you have to....