What time does your Year 9 go to bed?

[giddykipper]

And what time do you think they go to sleep?

I know I used to get about 10 hours sleep a night until I went to Sixth Form, which must mean I was asleep for 10pm.

DH thinks that's unreasonable, he says he was in his room watching TV and went to sleep when he felt tired. He used to watch TV until close (so midnight-ish).

Do you think a 14 year old is old enough to know when she needs to go to bed?

And if not, what time do you send them?

The thing is, DH has left for work when she wakes in the morning and he doesn't see what a pain in the arse she is for getting out of bed.

[Milliways]

DS went to bed around 10ish in Yr9 (now Yr10), BUT he has to get up at 6:20 which he does by himself with no bother. He rolls out of bed & stumbles into shower to wake up!

Occassionally it would be later & we trusted him - also he would go to bed early to read or just collapse if he got over-tired.

Maybe you should give her an alarm clock and if she refuses to get up / is late for school then she pays the consequences?

[giddykipper]

She has an alarm clock but she still struggles to get out of bed. I always go in at 7:30am to make sure she is showing some signs of getting up before I leave the house at 7:45am. She does manage to get herself to school on time to be fair.

Perhaps I'm being a bit tight then, maybe I should cut her some slack.

[musicposy]

My Y9 daughter tends to be pretty late, about 11 ish. To be fair, she's the kind of child who's never needed much sleep ever since a baby, so has always had late bedtimes. When she started Y7 we reigned it in a bit and I think it probably did her good, but we've descended into bad habits again, especially this year. To be fair, though, she'd just read or play DS on the quiet anyway, so I think she has to decide for herself really.

She moans about getting up, but she does manage it!

[giddykipper]

The thing is, I always try to be in bed for 11pm, otherwise I can't function. I must just need a lot of sleep. The other problem is that DH and I never get any time to ourselves if she goes to bed at the same time as me!

[Dumbledoresgirl]

Gawd I am feeling a bit about this. My Year 9 son goes to bed at 9 with his Year 7 brother, or sometimes we let him stay up until 9:30. It can be the same even at weekends or in holidays although equally, he sometimes stays up until 10 or later if watching a film. I would still say though that 9 is the point when I start thinking about sending him up. I guess he reads until 10. I get him up at 7:30 for school.

I am obviously a Mean Parent.

[cocolepew]

DD has just turned 12, her bedtime was 9pm but we are trying her out at 9.30. I told her if she struggled in the mornings it was going back, she wakes up naturally around 7-7.15. A couple of times she's called me before 9.30 because she was tired. I think it depends on the child and how much sleep they need.

[Slambang]

My yr 8 is in bed by 9.30 and will probably be the same when he's in yr 9 too.

[giddykipper]

Me too Dumbledore! I think she should be going up for a shower at 9pm, in her room for 9:30pm, lights off at 10pm. Sounds like I'm out of touch.

[cocolepew]

DD isn't allowed downstairs past 9pm though, she has to read in her room.

[brummiemummie]

IME whether a 14yo knows when they should go to bed is very much dependent on what they are like and how mature they are. DD1 would probably have been fairly sensible at that age and gone to bed when she felt tired, however DD3 (in Year 9 atm) is far less mature than DD1 and DD2 were at that age, and I probably would not trust her to pick her own bedtime. As it is, she goes to bed at 10, lights out by 10.30ish (I'm fairly flexible on this and if she is not too tired I usually let her read until 11. No TV or internet though.)

If you think she is mature enough to decide, I would let her have free reign for a couple of weeks (when there isn't anything important going on that she can't be overtired for eg exams) and see how it goes - with the proviso that if you think she is getting too tired then you will make her go to bed earlier. Personally I would also make it dependent on no TV/computer after a certain time, but that is v hard to enforce if she has TV, laptop etc in her room.

[snorkie]

Some people need more sleep than others even as teenagers. Dd (yr 9) often takes herself to bed between 9 and 10.30ish, whereas ds tends to stay up later (& did so when he was yr 9 as well).

We don't have a set bedtime, but the rule is if they're a pain to get up on time (about 7am or soon after on a school day) then they have to go to bed earlier!

[rainbowinthesky]

About 9.30.

[GetOrfMoiLand]

DD is 14 and she goes up to bed to sleep between 9 and 9.30. One two nights she has cadets which means she doesn't get to bed until after 10, on those days she has a nap when she gets in from school. She gets up at 7am so needs to get her sleep.

She goes to bed whenever she likes on a weekend, and lies in the next day.

[bruffin]

DS 14 sleeping habits have really shifted lately and he is going to be neared 10 - 10.30 and is often awake at 11-12.

My DD 12 will go to bed when she is tired it can be anywhere between 8 and 10, she is very good at regulating herself, although a year ago she couldn't sleep until 12 and was a bit of a nightmare.

[BradSplit]

can i say
i see a lot of VERY TIRED year nine
id say 9pm school days

[bruffin]

I would point out though at this age the melatonin to make them sleepy is released later and later but a teenager needs more sleep than a preteen.

[inthesticks]

This has been the subject of much conflict between me and DS 14.In my opinion he still needs 9/10 hours sleep but he struggles to get to sleep at night and then struggles to wake up in the morning.

We came to a compromise.
The rules now are 9.30pm on school nights and up at 7am. Weekends and school holidays no fixed bedtime, but he mustn't be unreasonable which means not staying up until the early hours just because he can.

Giving him that extra freedom at weekends etc has resulted in him happily accepting the earlier bedtime on school nights. He always gets up on time for school but he is a total zombie on weekend mornings.

[seeker]

I am amazed at all there 10.30 - 11 bed times in year 9! They can't possibly be getting enough sleep - unless the don't have to get up early. My dd has to get up at 6.45 - she would be on her knees if she wasn't asleep by sometime between 9 - 10 at the latest most school nights.

[seeker]

Oh, and I am a bit sad about the one that's not allowed downstairs - they live in the house too, you know!