Advice re pre-teen starting periods please

[lilolilmanchester]

DD(Yr 7, just turned 12) has just started her periods. She is well prepared, theoretically, ie she knows what they are, what it will look like, what she needs to do etc... but has still been a bit shocked by the reality. She has a set of pads, spare pants, and bag should she need to change underwear in her school bag. She knows how to put pads on and take them off; anything else from your experience which you would share?

Would also like to know when your DD first started to use tampons (i am from generation where I was told I couldn't use them til I was married - but bought some out of desperation on a school trip at 14!)think DD is too young at 12 but am prepared to be told otherwise as she is very sporty and tampons would be helpful. Thanks!

[IsItMeOr]

Make sure she has some of the night-time pads with wings. I have hideous memories from my own childhood...

[babalon]

Ditto the night time pads my DD just 13 started aged 12. I used pads for about 2 periods before going the tampon route but have said to her if she wants to try tampons just say but seems a bit freaked by them. As long as they are being change regularly I wouldn't have a problem with my DD using tampons.
I very recently found that asda do a teen pad range only one I've found. They have night time regular day and slim. My DD seems better with them. Poor love is getting them more than 3 weeks apart hopefully will settle down soon she started July.
Lots of face washing advice etc needed to.
Who'd be a girl ?

[lilolilmanchester]

thanks, bought some winged night-time pads today. Any other advice based on experience will be gratefully received. THanks.

[TrillianAstra]

If she wants to use tampons my advice would be to get to know her own shape when she's not on her period, so she can feel where a tampon would go. I find applicators make htings much easier, as well.

[cakeywakey]

I started my periods when I was 11 so can sympathise with your daughter - it was rather strange getting used to them, and the horrendous changes to my skin!

The only things I would say are to let her try out a few different ranges of pads/tampons to find the ones that suit her best. My Mum just used to buy horrible brick things that I always hated - being able to choose my own would have been much appreciated.

The other thing to stress to her is to make sure she changes them at each breaktime - hopefully she's at the kind of school with toilets that you actually want to go into and where girls don't just hang out to smoke and bitch. Perhaps she can rope in a friend to go at the same time as her so that she doesn't have to go in alone.

Oh, and a decent range of face care products and advice on how to cleanse, tone and moisturise would have been great for me. I'm sure you can get some nice and non-expensive teenage ranges

[IsItMeOr]

Good points cakeywakey. It was years before I realised that the pads my mum bought for us weren't the only ones available. I would strongly recommend the Always Ultra with wings ones from current experience, but obviously I'm not a teen, so the sizing might not be quite right. But they are very effective.

I don't know if it's an issue in your house, but make sure she can discreetly get them from wherever they are stored to the bathroom without everybody in the house having to know about it. I will never understand why my mum kept them all in a cupboard on the landing, so you had to go in there and then sneak into the bathroom if you were painfully shy about the whole business (which I was). Privacy is pretty important to teens still, I would guess...

[cakeywakey]

Oh, and you sound like a lovely enlightened Mum, so I'm sure you're already keeping an eye on your DD's bra size and helping her to choose nice undies (rather than just presenting her with some you've bought) that aren't going to get her picked on at changing time.

Blimey, I sound like a right bitter old bag!

[cakeywakey]

Me again! She may also need guidance on hair removal and maintenance - hairy armpits can be social death at changing times (as well as bad undies)

[BigTillyMint]

cakeywakey, great tip about the undies (and hair removal) - I must remember that when DD starts secondary in September! I have finally got her to wear some crop-tops - her boobies are almost bigger than mine !

[IsItMeOr]

...and deodorant.

[lilolilmanchester]

thanks all, very helpful

[TidyBush]

Be prepared for how heavy the flow may be. My DDs' PJs and bed sheets look like something from CSI with the amount of 'seepage' during the night.

[lilolilmanchester]

yes, I was suprised how heavy for first one TidyBush(fab name!)
I started at 11 so actually she's a bit later than I was, and I do have a lot of sympathy as it's hard to deal with in the early days, especially when so young. At least there are discreet winged pads now, so much better than the early stick-on pads which were only marginally better than looped pads & belts!!!

[cloelia]

My dd started using tampons when she was 12 (she is nearly 14 now), I was a bit surprised and asked her how she found out how to use them and it turned out another girl at school had showed her! My only worry about the tampons is if she does not change them enough but she is so touchy about anything personal now I can only mention it in the vaguest of terms. A good thing to get is those little bags to put the pads in when used ( we are not on main drainage and I shudder to think how the septic tank would deal with big pads ...) And I bought her a couple of nice little purses to conceal the items in at school ... oh and some dark coloured pants too.

[Finbar]

MOxie do a range that's packaged in a quite trendy/young looking style, and we got a neat little tin to store pads in with one purchase - DD v. impressed, and it all helps keep an upbeat positive feeling about the whole thing.

A good skin care products is a range by Amie especially for teenagers PLUS no parabens/perfume/ nasties etc. I found them in Waitrose but I'm sure they are elsewhere too

[valleyqueen]

Another good tip just in case make sure she has a scented nappy sack with her spare undies and pads just incase she has an accident. Good for putting solied stuff in and also if she finds herself in a loo with no bin.

I started at 10 and didn't even no what it was!

[lilolilmanchester]

Thanks for all the advice, DD coped extremely well with her first period. However, that was 6 weeks ago and no sign of the second yet. I know early periods can be irregular but how long is "too long" and when should I be seeking medical advice? Thanks.

[lilolilmanchester]

bump

[Missus84]

I started mine at 11, and for the first few years they were so irregular I'd often go for months between them.

[lilolilmanchester]

Thanks Missus, that's helpful. I started at 11 but it was a longggggggg time ago and really can't remember about frequency/regularity. I know they can be irregular early on, just wasn't sure when it might be too long indicating some sort of problem.

[4kidsandlovingit]

My DD is also in yr7 but no sign of hers yet although have done all the other things deo and armpits etc.
We actually had an evening at school for mums and daughters that went through everything much to our DDs embarrassement.
We were told that tampons shouldn`t ben used for the first year to give DD time to get to know their flow and get used to changing regulary ?sp.
Apparently its very common for girls to wear a tampon that is either too absorbant and not change it oftern enough or not absorbant enough and keep leaking.
If it helps irregular periods are really common when they start, a friend of mine has a DD who is now 15 and when she started at 12 she ofter went 2 to 3 months between period.

[unvaluedjewel]

My dd now 15 was only, wait for it, 8.5yo when she started. Luckily we had talked at it wasn't a complete shock (well almost)and she coped amazingly well, despite primary sch not being geared up at all with bins in the loos etc. One thing to note tho is that if yr dd does start v early, important to get them checked out by gp and hospital. If they start periods very early, they can end up losing height, cos they miss out on normal childhood growth before puberty "spurt" takes place, and if any intervention is to take place it must happen early on and before their bones fuse. I am only 5 2 and dd now 4 11 but have been advised nothing can be done cos her bones now fused and she has stopped growing. I knew about height issue and raised it at the time at the hospital, but was pooh pooh'd. She was never going to be tall, but I feel she has lost height unnecessarily cos my concerns not listened to. Must say, through my experience I would not regard starting at 12yo as being particularly early.

[lilolilmanchester]

no, 12 is not early (my Mum and I were 11 so I guess DD is late!!), am more bothered by time inbetween periods, so perhaps need to start another more specific thread. Thanks.

[wolfbrother]

Have you seen " Everything you ever asked about periods" ?

It's an excellent book to give your DD.

[missmoopy]

I think you should buy her tampons - they do slimline ones now - as towels are uncomfortable, restricting and for a young girl, i imagine she will feel self conscious. And then buy her chocolate, a hot water bottle and magazines and give the poor little thing a big hug! X