A week in the life of DS1 - aaaaggggghhh!!

[mummyflood]

Monday - forgot P.E. Kit.
Tuesday - forgot dinner money. Had a mock Geography exam, somehow sat the foundation paper instead of the higher - school reckons it's the invigilator fault for putting the wrong paper on his desk.
Wednesday - half an hour late home from school then spent a good couple of hours in his room 'revising' - admirable but unusual
Thursday - 10 min detention after school, allegedly, didn't let me know, I had asked him to come home straight away as he had something urgent to do which needed to be in the post. Therefore nearly 3/4hr late in total.
Today (so far) - forgotten p.e. kit again, 'forgot' he had a fitness test in his favourite lesson, despite the fact we were actually discussing the lesson as he walked out of the door!

Fairly standard teenage behaviour I know, but quite 'out of character' for DS all in one go. Coupled with the fact that the minute he walks in, he sprints upstairs, bypassing the fridge entirely phone starts text alerting like mad - and actually, he's been at least half an hour late every night this week, also the lynx use has gone into overdrive (nearly choked this morning, and we were downstairs at the time, he was in his bedroom!!) methinks perhaps head in clouds over a girl for the first time, anyone recognise these symptoms??

[mummyflood]

OK. So I've just pulled the settees out to hoover underneath, and out floats a pocket-sized leaflet about contraception/sexual health advice and where to get it in this area. Have seen one of these before, the kids are given them at school. (DS1 is 16, DS2 is 14) I pull the settees out once a week and it wasn't there last time...

Last night he asked me can you buy condoms in Sainsbury's, apparently there is gossip that one of his classmates gets through a box per week (don't know what the connection there is )

CRAP!

[foxinsocks]

good that he's looking at the leaflet, yes?

think I would have wobbles in my tummy too (your baby boy!) but perhaps a good time for a chat with him!

[nymphadora]

Check out connexions for free condoms!

I am DREADING this age though. Dd1 is 10 next week and her friends talk about boys now, its very scary!

[Tortington]

take him to family planning - someone there will talk to him on his own and in confidence. he will get free condoms - and know where it is - and not have the barrier of never having been before - so he can go again.

i really think that this is a good idea becuase the fear of walking into the place - a new place - a sexual health place ...is huge.

take him in your car, make an appt, wait in the car let him talk to someone.

tell him that he needs to have a discussion with his GF and perhaps they can come and speak to someone together.

[mumblechum]

How old is he?

Sounds really sweet in a way that he's forgotten everything in a cloud of looooove.

I don't think I could get ds to the FPC when it's his turn to go through all this but I'd make sure he had a supply of condoms in his room.

[mumblechum]

Sorry just seen that he's 16.

Bless his cotton knickers.

[nymphadora]

Here connexions do a scheme where teenagers register for a card and can 'claim' packs of condoms from loads of places

[mummyflood]

DS is in town at the moment buying some nice choccies for a young lady who is a 'good friend', not his girlfriend. Won't admit to having or wanting one. AFAIK, that's the ONLY pressie he's buying this Christmas for any of his mates. Said young lady's name has featured very heavily this week. Wonder if the problem could be apparently one of his friends was thinking of asking her out but has now decided on someone else (player, according to DS!!) I am as sure as I can be that DS thinks a lot of this girl, but he has done for quite some time and I don't think he has the bottle to ask her out and risk the knock back/ruining the friendship. I am also fairly sure that she is aware of this, and is enjoying the 'game'. I think they are both enjoying the flirtation as much as each other, but can't see it going anywhere else. I think he has been having problems this week with the thought that she could end up going out with one of his mates

Think the leaflet was just a coincidence, could even have come from DS2, for all they are both very comfortable with talking about contraception, etc at home, any mention of accompanying DS1 to the FPC etc would not go down well, but thanks for the suggestions. I will mention connexions when the opportunity presents itself, and in the meantime help him wrap his choccies if he wants me to

[inthesticks]

Definately love.
I've had all the same symptoms from my DS1 who is 14 in 2 weeks and seems quite serious about his gf. Too young for the connections/condoms thing so I've had to do a big no sex talk.

FWIW he never used to tell me stuff until six months ago when he had a crush on a girl and was surprised when my response was constructive and sympathetic. Since then he tells me evrything, TMI at times. He told me he wishes he had known long ago how much better it feels to discuss his problems with me rather than bottling them up.

Could you try and show your DS that you are not going to tease or judge him but might be able to help him?

[mummyflood]

Sounds like you're getting it spot on, inthesticks.

Yes, that's the approach I am taking, and he is very chatty and open at the moment. Have been able to give him some advice, which I think he has taken on board, along the lines of being a good friend to this girl and just being there for her and not judging if it all goes wrong again with this other boy - btw, they have been 'out together' before and he treated her badly apparently.

Well, very surprised when he came home yesterday, not just with the choccies in question but with a present for ANOTHER girl, who we also know of. He had arranged to go for a pizza with her today, but it unfortunately fell through. (her end). Bless him. Also just a good friend apparently. Have actually met this one and she is lovely.

Ho hum, so wrapped the two pressies nicely for him, left him to write the tags, and we will see!!