mrs jammi you have inspired me! After yet another Sunday night row over housework, state of bedrooms, ironing, puppy walking etc. I read this thread and have laid down the rules in our house too.

If they want to go out at the weekend they will have had to put out the rubbish, helped prepare dinner, helped wash up, walked the puppy, put their laundry in the laundry basket not on the floor, etc. etc. Not sure how long it will last this week, but when they don't go anywhere (and this includes the mall, friends etc.) the message might sink in.

Will let you know how it goes.

thanks, the new regime started this morning -DSD was made to hoover the downstairs before her pocket money was handed over,the washing is dried and folded and waiting for DSS to put it in rooms in the morning, then when DSDs friend came over, they both took dog for a walk, DS was at his dads, but wasnt allowed out of the house until his room had been tided, as he had tickets for the rugby international he soon shifted

this meant I had time for a long relaxing bath while DH took the baby to the farm for a few hours

all in all a good start, no more points, building pocket, a straight forward, hoover or no pocket money, room or no rugby, rather than a week of arguing about it!!!

just have to keep it up now

mrsjammi - have now read the other thread and there are lots of great ideas on there.
You said you might consider a cleaner when you go back to work.
Why wait? You are tired and stressed now.I don't know your financial situation but it seems to me this could make such a huge difference to your quality of life it would be worth it. Put the SSs lodge up and use it for some help. You might then find you are a happier, less resentful person and the general tension in the home would improve.
You also want to enjoy that new baby when it comes.

Many years ago when I was 18 and working we added up all the household bills except for mortgage and I paid my "share" which was 1/3 as there were three adults in the house.

much more info about it on here

we have been together 4 years plus, I have lowered my standards - my ds was much more house trained than my dss and dsd, evn though he was 9 and dss 14 when dss moved in

before me their mother did it all, dsd and dss both use to just drop their rubbish in the floor where they were stood, what we have now is a huge improvement on what we had, but when you start from rock bottom there is a long way to climb back up

Sounds to me as though this isn't just really about the dog?
More like the whole running of the family? Have you been together long? Have things got worse or did they never do much around the house? Who did everything before you?
Is it the SCs pet rather than yours?
I think the family meeting sounds like a good idea but you must have DH onside first.
Explain how much every one works or studies outside the house and see if they can understand that you can't do everything. I think people are often more willing to do chores if they are allowed to express a preference.For example in our house DS1 hates cleaning the bath but doesn't mind putting the rubbish out.

Could you pay for some help? It sounds as though you have a lot on your plate and if you could afford to pay even for 2 or 3 hours a week cleaning help it would really take the pressure off.

Maybe you have to be a bit harder then (my eldest is 6 so I have no experience of this btw). How about stop doing his washing and/or ironing until he can do simple chores like carrying the clean clothes to peoples rooms - not a lot to ask in exchange for freshly laundered clothes.

DSS solution is to ask me and DH to nag him, as all he thinks about is "chilling" when he gets in.

Fed up of them all doesnt begin to address it and then they wonder why I am always in a bad mood.

How about calling a "family meeting" express your frustrations and get them to come up with the solutions.

We have a large choccy lab, she is beautiful, placid, adores the baby, and all the kids but ....

They will walk her, under duress and after nagging, no one picks up after her in the garden without being nagged so i end up doing it (I have been on about rehoming her for a year or more so it is annoying the hell out of me), I am fairly sure that DSS when he does walk her allows her to mess and doesnt pick it up (although both I and DH nag and he promises us he does, its a gut instinct that if he cant do it at home, he isnt doing it when he is out).

DSD isnt allowed to walk her as she refuses point blank to pick up do pooh.

They bring her home after walking her, soakin and allow her to run all over the house, soaking, so the floor and walls get plastered in mud and we all know how choccy labs moult, but no one will sweep up or hoover.

DH ends up walkin her most of the time, and the only reason we still have her is he loves her so much, he wants her to stay.

I am seriously concerned abotu bow DH and I are going to be able to cope with her, a toddler, a baby, 3 teenagers who do sweet fuck all about the house and think that all there is to owning a dog is walking her when they can be bothered. At least my DS (13) does pick up her pooh, he plays rugby and knows how awful it is to roll in the stuff).

I know that is a long list of moans, dont et me wrong she is beautiful and every one loves her, me too, otehrwise she would be gone already, but the extra work she is creating is driving me nuts and despite constant threats to rehome her, it all falls on deaf ears, as they know neither DH or I really want to do it.

cant get them to load the dishwasher, never mind a rota

if for example they are asked to load the dishwasher, they take the plates and knives and forks off the table, put them in the dishwasher, end of.

the saucepans, casserole dishes, servers, etc all just stay there until DH or I do it, we have talked to them til we are blue in the face, they are oblivious to their total laziness and because there are 3 of them, the feed each other, you know its not my turn its DSS, DSD, DS turn.

another example, I did about 4 loads of washing the other day, DH asked DSS to put it in peoples rooms - his response why should I, hence DSD and my DS also refuse to help, on the basis, DSS wont, I pull DSD and DS pocket money, but then they moan because DSS is working and doesnt get pocket money, so they get sanctioned and he doesnt.

Rotas are hard because DSD is only here some of the time, and it it seems unfair to give her chores in the week she is only here on a wednesday

They do know I am seriously thinking of rehoming her, but I dont think they really believe me and they know DH doesnt want to, although he is gettin as fed up of the constant housework as I am and the do is just one more sourse of work at the moment.