DD Deportment

[ringingthechanges]

This is really delicate, how can I even begin to braoch the subject to DD. Her posture is appalling, I want to talk to her about it but at the same time I do not want to upset her and make her feel there is someting wrong with the way she holds herself or walks. Teenage girls are very sensitive so I nead to tread carefully but it is definately something that needs addressing.

[LedodgyDailyMailstinksofpoo]

Why not start a yoga or pilates class with her. The exercises really improve posture. You could say you want to start and would like her company?

[EccentricaGallumbits]

I find an hour a day on the backboard and walking with a book on the head helps.

[mumblechum]

I like ledodgy's idea. Or would she be interested in dance? You can always tell the ballet dancers imo, they look so graceful

[ringingthechanges]

No DD would not do any type of dance. She does have terrible posture and her walking stance is very poor. I know this sounds like I am being critical, I am not, I just want her to walk tall and look her best. At 14 she is likely to get very defensive if I say anything so I am going to have to choose my words SO SO carefully. She is quite shy too and I do not want to undermine her confidence.

[mamas12]

Well I tell my dd to pick her feet up and pull her shoulders back all the time,
It's just me and she does get annoyed but hey I'm a mum and that's what I'm supposed to do.
I tell her I'm only looking out for her best interests and she will thak me when she's older (god the trite turns of phrase my mum used

[babalon]

does she sit at the table for meals? I find if I let mine sit in the lounge to eat their posture is horrid. I point this out and let them know why it's bad indigestion etc.

This is a good start for children to see why posture is important. My children have been very aware of my back pain caused by a disc prolapse and I do tell them that posture is so important to protect their backs but also how standing up straight portrays confidence.

If she is intrested in science then it might be useful to discuss the difference between 2 leggaed mammals and four legged ones becdause if we all walked on four limbs most back probs would be prevented.

At the end of the day though vanity will have the most impact. Is she tall compared to her friends? when I was at college my friends were all shorter than me and I stooped because I didn't want to be different I was only 5' 8 but the extra 2 3 inches just made a be difference to me

[ADifferentMe]

OP - I was just about to post the same question! Unfortunately, I've realised her posture is the same as mine and Babalon, yes, we're both tall.

I find it so much more comfortable to slump when I'm sitting but when I see her I realise it looks lazy and probably winds her teachers up (as I did with mine ).

Will try the yoga suggestion as we both need a bit of relaxation.

[ringingthechanges]

No its not because DD is particularly tall. Someone close mentioned to me a few months ago about how DD walks. She said maybe she needs to see an orthopedic or waer heel arches. Not sure what I think the problem is but just doesnt seem to walk 'right', if that makes sense.

[dollyparting]

Hi ringingthechanges - I find this interesting because although have noticed her posture change, you also comment on her shyness.

There is such a strong relationship between physical demeanor and mental/emotional health that I wonder whether you dd's slouching is an indicator of a deeper issue?

If, for any reason she is feeling a bit depressed or unhappy, she will be holding her body in a way that represents that. Asking her to change her posture is probably as uncomfortable as asking her to go out on stage and sing to an audience.

My dd at age 14 tied her hair back into a horrible tight scrunchy bun - because she hated how she felt about herself with long flowing curling hair. She was at times depressed and she discovered for herself that if she 'skipped like a 4 year old' she couldn't feel unhappy.

As a complete alternative: dd2 (who is happy, confident, outgoing, party-goer) has scoliosis of her spine. This causes some bending and is very, very, very, common in teenage girls (google it). This can cause lop-sided walking etc. It tends not to be treated (unless it is so extreme that it compresses the lungs and causes breathlessness) and in any case treatment is usually a back brace.

If you have a rather shy daughter, then the best you can do is whatever you can to help her feel better about herself, her decisions and her abilities in life. If her posture is caused by "laziness" then she will change it as soon as there is an external reason for her to do so (potential boyfriend, peer pressure, sporting competition etc).

If her poor posture is caused by a physical problem such as mild scoliosis then, you would be best not to draw her attention to it.

If her poor posture is caused by her mental/emotional feelings then it is likely to be a tender walk for all of you to help her to stand up tall.

And of course the reality of teenagers is that it is likely to be all of the above, or none of the above. All we can do is love them.

[ringingthechanges]

Thanks for your post dollyparting. DD's posture is fine, she stands straight, thats not the problem, it is the way she walks from the waist down if you see what I mean. She cannot walk in heels so have suggested 'we' practice, she is up for that so it seems like maybe we can concentrate on her becoming more concious of her gait, in a positive way.