I agree and she does well anyway at school anyway and BodenGroupie he sounds like hes from the same generation as your DS
thanks all, its good to bounce ideas around

I think some men truly panic at their thought that their little girls may be about to escape their control. He needs to learn to see it as a matter for rejoicing. And personally I see nothing wrong with revising with headphones, some people just learn better with music.

And my house too! To be fair to dads, they do seem to struggle with their baby girls growing up. Can you persuade him to only notice the positive things she does (ie revising at all!) and pick his battles carefully? Rather like dealing with a toddler, in fact! You can't expect someone not to shout and swear if you do it yourself though DH comes from the "do as I say, not as I do" generation.

As a former teenager, I think 14 was pretty much the unhappiest I've ever been - everyone else seems to be having more fun and no one understands

Wow, do you live in my house?
I keep telling dh, that at 14, you hate the world and the world hates you. And if he needs to wind her up that much, just go up to her and cuddle her tight every time she annoys him. Which actually in hind sight made things worse.
But he is starting to get the message that HE is the adult here and he has to bend to her more than she has to bend to him.

i wonder if anyone has advice. we have 4 children ,the eldest is 14 and always seems to be having arguments with her dad.She is wilful.opionated, always right - just like him self really but is a lovely girl . He seems to constantly pick on her and shout at her for minor things.Today she was revising for an exam and he had a go at her because she was wearing headphones at the same time. She swore at him and so it goes on.She gets very upset about his constant criticising and actually so do I. When i ask him why he shouts , he says dont you start.
any suggestions?