ooh now it's in teenagers.

good idea.

....off I go to print out various copies for mine.

Ask to get it moved to 'teenagers' or similar, other people can get their teenage children to read it, I think it would be useful.

yes, that fine (re-he new thread)

I am pondering asking MNHQ to move this thread so it is keepable in the archives tho....for future ref for rehashing the point with DD1 (or the others)....not that I ever want to do this again, but I would like the record, 'just in case' (IYGWIM).

I would try n save it on my laptop, but in the past when I have tried to save threads something goes very wrong

When I was about her age, got completely smashed at a cousin's wedding.

Felt dreadful in the morning, and no one mentioned a thing, although we had to fly back home and my dad asked specifically for a seat above the engine .

Agree with Bree that a bit of physical work is a good idea...

Poor thing though. Bet she was so scared....

Can I come?

<avoiding doing upsetting things like applying for yet another job>

I'm going to start another 'chat with psycho' thread so you can put this one behind you
if thats ok with you

lol

well I can do chilli con carne, spag bol, curry, sausage casserole, pasta and sauce (tomato based), pizza and chips, salmon, pots and veg and I'm sure we can squeeze in a chinese takeaway

oh can you have takeaway?

<<wail>>

my i keeps jumping places with the o.....

well, I loke chilli, and spag bol, and curry, and good old basic food that is easy to cook.

I like to think I am pretty good, but I try to cook amazing stuff and then panic and get flustered, so it cremates itself, so I gave up trying.

maybe I caused my own allergies with the attempts of snazzy stuff..........maybe I shocked my system once too often!

ok so can we talk food?
what can I make for you?

I'm guessing that macaroni cheese is out of the question...

do you eat chilli con carne
and please god tell me you are not a fantastic chef cause I am not 'all that' in the kitchen

aww, 'fanks trinity

believe me tho when I say I am still not happy with it. it is only just growing on me!!

ooops didn't mean to shout it at you...

i LIKE THE NEW COLOUR AND CUT PSYCHO [GRIN]

Hi Flame. <waves> Tell this one she's not fat, 'kay? It'll come better from you since you're actually there and can see.

bog = big BTW.

flame sat on my shoulder sniggering at my typos.

especially sniggering now as I have just had to change the big from BOG.........<<argh>>........touch typing not going well today

hair does not look wavy anyore.........looked too 'bill wyman-ish' the following day and have been generally scared of doing it (read - I HATE MY HAIR from that sentence). tis now straightened again.

colour is changed tho. wanted it to be red........really not red, but I don;t mind the colour.

the 'all five' pic was taken on xmas eve, by DH, just before we went to the shops to make up a bog one for MIL, as she had requested a recent one. they are teens, but teeny

Just seen pics of new hair - I like the wavyness. Have you changed the colour too or is it just the different lighting compared to the 'old hair' picture?

And how long ago was that picture of 'all 5' taken? They look so small, where are the teenagers?

I thought you were a skinny-minny who needed to find more nice food that won't kill you? My jeans are always tight when they've just been washed, then they sort of ease out a bit after being worn once, I think that's how jeans are supposed to be.

I am regretting them today tho..........got a pretty bloated tummy.

and I have put on wieght<<wail>>. jeans are tight

there were actually.

and very nice they were too

<scared at thought of so many children>

Any sausages left for breakfast?

urk

lurk

urking always fun

ok.

time to urk on here a bit more then

about 35 mins

I had four in the end I think, after you cooked up some more. might even have been five in fact, but two were in the same roll.

when you coming this morning??

3 sausages was a big achievement for me

20 soddin weeks tomorrow, and still starting the day being sick. I had a whole 6 day break though

3 sausages broke you. You are a lightweight!

But I suppose we will excuse you in your delicate condition. Are you feeling any better?

Have you tried glucose sweets? I read somewhere that they can help.

I only had 3. Psycho had at least 2.

Still broken

which clearly makes me a fabulous friend!!!

noooo, she started cooking them, I allowed her

You cooked more sausages because she liked them? You are a good friend

Or was it just in amazement at how many she could eat?

oh buda....<<phew>>

titsalina, thankyou for you post. tis nice to have someone come and tell me that they were there, and are ok now. I too did the teenage drinking thing, there was just not the disappearing act added to it and the police involvement, then A&E drama.

trillian......the 'last sausage' comment was because at the party yesterday I cooked burgers, sausages, nuggets and pizza for all the children to give them boxes (like you get from mcdonalds) for their party food.

anyhoo..........me n flame munched all the sausages, and flame got a taste for them, and she was keeping them down, so cooked some more.

only then felt full-up by the time they were cooked.........

so I rolled eyes, and tutted about the waste of sausages.......

and she felt pressured to eat them, only then another friend and I started muttering about the 'last sausage' will break her

seems it did

Guess what???? The Match Attax book turned up! Was 'found' by one of DS's friends. Will find out more tomorrow no doubt. I didn't pick DS up today as he was going to another firend's house after school.

Titsalina - I take it you didn't see the boyfriend again?

Last sausage?



Not in a bad way, just a 'huh?' face.

Oh that brought back not so many flash backs!

When i was 14 i decided it would be uber cool to down half a litre of neat Vodka to impress my bfriend at the time.

I remember up to about 15 mins after doing that, after that its all blank, i have a few lash backs of things that happened during the night but the next thing i know i am waking up in hospital covered in puke.

I have been told that about 15 mins after i drank the Vodka i collapsed, new bfriend panicked and dragged me to the point where i was being picked up and left me on the path.

My dad turned up found me carried me into the car, i have a recolection of my mum crying and my sister taking my clothes off.

Then the ambulance arrived as my mum didn't know what had happened as i had been found by myself and Vodka can be odourless.

They pumped my stomach as i was past the point of charcoal. Declared i had severe Alcohol poisining.

I got a lecture from the DR and i can honestly say i have never been drunk since.

Anyway Psyco i hope your DS had a lovely bday and i hope your DD learsn something from this, i was so tiny when i was that age to.

trying hard to have sympathy

Oooh that sounds good.

Oh, the last sausage has broken me today btw...

how about that.

and

I might just come home with cookies, donuts or similar (in major need of a treat-fix)!

Hmmmm.... sitting in a house where there are other children to amuse mine....? I can probably manage that.

tis fine flame.

<<flutter eyelashes back>>

can you sit with mine after while I go pay mortgage please<<you pretty lady>>

<stalking> Mum thinks she has a sinus infection and has to go and sit at her own drs first thing <flutters eyelashes>

well, we did start by sending a bouncy DS2 into her very early this morning with a request for coffee for us both

she is being thrown jobs as we go while I MN now

Not half term here no. I spoke to dep head of primary this morning to ask her to mention it in a general way at morning assembly but she didn't want to as she said that the person who did it was probably feeling bad and nervous. I said 'good 0 they should be!' She said she will address it next week but that just more gentle mentioning in class might be more productive.

Re your DD - lots and lots of chores I hope!

rusty, she has certainly found that it does indeed happen like mum and dad say sometimes.

I am still so thankful for the good samariton who ensured it never hit the worst case picture!

is it half-term for you this week?? It might tunr up, you never know<<hopeful>>. and no worries for the hijack. we all need to vent sometimes, and where better than where your friends are

the girls certainly are still lesson learning. well, DD1 and her very best friend are......as I said before the other girl has gone to london so not sure (altho am hopeful).

DD1 really is complaining about her tummy being sore..........she is not liking the feelings she has been left with. and I am not helping with sympathy. I let her off with lying about yesterday, mainly becuase in some ways, lying downstairs with the noise of several boys was kind of a great punishment today, but today, oh no........she is being given lots of chores

That's the big problem with teenagers - yes, they are 'streetwise' (they think) they know that smoking kills people, that if you walk home alone at 2am you might get attacked, that if you drink too much you can end up unconscious, but they also 'know' that "it won't happen to me"

Psycho - yep I'm angry! You can tell. I did speak to the teacher and she spoke to both classes. The teacher of the other class did too. Quite a few things have gone missing recently. Even things off the teacher's desk.

I am class rep for DS's class and I have sent a text to all the parents asking them to ask their child if they saw anyone take it. One mum replied and said that her DS thought it may have gotten mixed up with another boys Match Attax. It's a sodding great A4 plastic binder. And it's heavy as it's almost full. You would think a parent would notice their child bring it home?

Anyway - I suppose it's gone.

Sorry for hijack!

I suspect in your DD and her friends' case they will all have had a HUGE fright. I am assuming they will all be grounded. I am assuming the policeman Dad will give them a huge talking to. They are all old enough to realise now what COULD have happened. Hopefully they will now all realise that they are not as invincible as they thing think they are.

I'm not surprised you are shellshocked today. you will be for a while I'd imagine.

Maureen - I was a child in the 70's too! And the 60s.

maureen, tis ok, you were right at that time that she would be fine.............trillian pointed that out earlier too, and she was.

at least I have an exerience now to use in the future when someone else is going thru similar.............altho am not quite sure when I will be able to look back and use this for advice.

thankyou greeny.............altho I fear I might run into boring you all.

I just want that even-keel again instantly. I have real impatience with myself, which I know doesn;t help.

I have to say, I am soooooo glad it is half-term. I can keep her close for a few days to get some of my equilibriam back, and then knowing her, she will start winding me up again which will help the normality

am going to have to develop a new mantra tho....<<she is fine and ok, she is fine and ok>>.

makes a change from <<this too shall pass>> ((altho, <<this too shall pass>> is quite apt!!))

I feel mildly responsible for convincing you that that clubbing thing was a good idea!

Sounds like DD has learnt her lesson though and she really is still a credit to you. I'm going to show my DD this thread sometime, when I'm in a lecturing mood! Not quite the right time for her yet, she's still only 13, but I will.

Oh and Buda - someone stole my Pippa dolls from school once - I still remember it as clear as day. They were in a little plastic case, with big 70's style flowers on it! And yes it was the 70's!

You really DO need to get it all out. You're traumatised - you've been terrified, and it will take a while for your "fight or flight" mechanism to adjust. MN is the right place to get it all out, even if it means repeating yourself over and over again

I am so glad your dd is home and safe. I was shaking for you when I read the OP. You've had a brush with the worst possible nightmare, and it's bound to leave you shell-shocked for a while.

thanks mumonthenet.

I do keep replaying that couple of hours when they were missing, and that feeling of being convinced that she was lying in a gutter raped and murdered.

and then the phone call from the lady 6saying^ she had found her collasped on the beach with no shoes, and no friends

and then that hour when we couldn;t track down her friends (who as it turned out were aware of her being missing, and were terrifyingly running about trying to find her with the exact same thoughts as me I have since found out).

and that call from DH saying he was now with her and the police were involved.

oh, my heart is thumping at the thoughts.

argh, I need to stop this, but getting it all out is helpful too!

noddy, yes, you speak the truth (well, am hoping so with the lightening thing).

your DS will be fine, you know that, but you won;t stop fretting until he walks back thru that door, if you are like me (and you have said you are, so I already know).

argh............mothering is hell at times!!

I prefer to think that otehr parents are under reacting and not doing their job properly

not nuts psycho, just normal. Don't fight it.

It was a terrifically traumatic event for you (only just read the thread) It will take a while for you to get your balance back.

So glad she's ok.

I think in your situation I would try to work on the premise that lightning never strikes in the same place twice and you are unlikely to go through this again.She has ahad a big lesson that you could never have taught her with all the talking in the world because teenagers think they know it all.She now knows she doesn't and bad things do happen.She has also seen how it affects others and once you are all out of the woods I think a lot of good will come out of this horrific weekend.My ds has gone to skate board today with some new friends as his best buddy is on holiday this week.I am so worried as they seem older and wiser but am trying to keep things in perspective(and checking my phone every 2 mins)We are mothers thats what we do

oh buda. yes, I can feel you anger......something about the little shit wording.

how horrid.

is there any way that you could just say to his teacher that it has gone missing, and get them to ask everyone if they have seen it......in a way that doesn;t accuse anyone, but gives the child in question (who ever it might be) to 'pretend' to find it??

I wold be as livid as you I have to say. those match attax things are very very much a status symbol for some boys aren;t they. My DS1 is as attached to his. I know how we would feel if it were his (and in fact, his gogo's would induce the same rage!).

I know it is hard but just try to focus on the fact that she is OK. She had hopefully learnt a hard hard lesson. Not only was she sick, not only did she worry you, not only did she almost ruin her DBs birthday but she lost all her nice things.

Easier said than done I know. I am at the moment trying to get over the fact that against my better judgement I let DS who is 7 take his precious Match Attax binder with all his cards in to school on Thursday and some little shit stole it. Some little shit that is most likely in his class or the other Yr 3 class. Some little shit that plays football with him. Some little shit that I go into school and listen to read. Some little shit that I bake cakes for. I am angry as you can tell. Angry at DS for bringing it in. Angry at whoever took it. And most of all angry with myself that I let DS take it in. I was supposed to go in and do reading today but I couldn't face it. It's so horrible as it has really affected how I feel about his Year group now.

noddy, thankyou

not taking it as a critism BTW.....I know me well by now, altho I have to say I am glad you can understand why I am being like this.

the what-ifs thoughts really are horrendous. how the hell do I stop them tho??

in fact, I know why. I had these thoughts after the car accidents..........my entire mental make-up makes me do this. I think I need to refer back to my CBT lessons to train my brain away from the Bad Thoughts.

MIL gave her an old mobile of hers yesterday, that has credit on it, but is hell to use (in fact we all clubbed together to buy MIL a decent mobile for her birthday as her old mobile was so pants!).

DD1 therefore has a stupid hidious seamens (sp?) mobile that has a line of ducks that quack across the screen every single sodding time you try and use it and so drive you potty. I am nursing a quiet sense of revengeful satisfaction over that

tis just the issue with the ipod that is getting me down. and I cannot get past it at the moment, altho I know I will be fine later.

and yes, DD1 is the one suffering the loss really.

she did say she would pay me back, but I had said pocket money was banned for a while so not sure now if I should back down and reinstate it so that she can start paying me back.......

This is going to take you a while to get over You sound that sort of person Not a criticism its just i am too and recognise myself in your posts!You have done really well and are probably going to have a few delayed reactions over the weeks.Be kind to yourself and her you have both had a terrible shock and the what ifs are horrendous xx

She is fine. She feels physically and emotionally bad, and so do her friends, so they are unlikely to be this silly ever again. Only things have been lost. So relax. You are a good mummy, and you have handled it very well, not mollycoddling her just because she is ill and also not getting too angry and punishing her too much.

If the insurance covers it replace her ipod, if not then just don't. She's old enough to understand that if stuff gets broken or lost you can't always just get a new one.

I would get her a cheapy cheapy phone (preferably an ugly one), on the basis that a 15-year-old really can't survive without a mobile, and an especially ugly one will serve as a reminder that she did something silly and lost her beautiful phone.

<<takes cammomile tea gratefully>>

actually, I think one person might have said so, and I focused on that

trillian, am hoping so. am too emotional to ring anyone else right now tho to find out.........would only embarrass myself further I think.

I know I am being irrational tho. I am really not angry or upset about the rest of it (and her mobile was an LG cookie that we got her for her birthday. her very first expensive mobile!) plus there was new make-up in her bag too that was only bought (by me) that day that she owes me for out of her pocket money, which was also stolen<sigh>.

and it is her silly fault after all in a way (well, not completely. was the fucker that took advantage of her state that IS to blame).

no, I know what it is.

it is because ever since my car accident, I have put them thru stress due to me PTSD, and so when we knew my money was coming I promised them all something decent as my way of saying sorry and thankyou for putting up with me, so of course I have connected different emotions to the ipod that are not normal emotions.

and this has all thrown me, I am still flitting between being sooooooo glad that she is ok, to the thought of 'what if', and this is my focus.

am going nuts aren;t I

(and we didn't say you were neurotic about the club night, we just said nothing bad would happen, and we were right. You had a perfectly normal amount of mummy-worriedness)

<camomile tea?>

Does your home contents insurance cover personal possessions outside the home? Mine does. You might be able to claim for the ipod that way. Otherwise, everyone else has an ipod and DD1 doesn't. Which is fair enough really. Everyone else didn't go out and get drunk and lose their bag.

PCWorld is not a great shop to cry in. Nicer shops would look after you and be nice to you, but PCWorld is rubbish.

actually, I was ok earlier, but feeling a little ragged now.

have spoken to the police to report the stolen handbag, got crime numbers etc, gone to pcworld to sort out the ipod, only to find that the cover they sold me does not cover theft, but as it does have some cover on it, we cannot claim for it otherwise.

and then embarrassed myself by sobbing stupidly in pcworld (I think all the emotions have just come tumbling out from the last few days as no-one was with me bar an unsympathetic worker).

DD1 is still suffering (sore tummy muscles from the force of vomiting, and sore throat and mouth from the acid of the bile), but she is now having to clean out the rabbit cages and I have told her that she is cooking dinner later to give me a break.

all the others............they are fine, altho now all on the come-down from party food and lots of coke<<argh>>

how are you this morning psycho and how are the little psychos? x

no, they don;t

and teenagers are still as much a gift as they were as newborn babies.

and as hard work too at times

I know psycho i am the same.That other thread is heart breaking esp to people like dp and I who only could have one child and would have loved more.Some people don't deserve children and never see the gift they are .

noddy, I am soooooo over protective at times, really am. I had such a bad childhood with many issues that I am so terrified of something happening to my children I have been finding it very hard to let her grow.

in fact, just a short while back (march in fact) I had a thread about her going to her first night of clubbing at the local under-18s night, and was accused of being neurotic, and since then have been making lots of effort to allowe her more freedom, later curfews etc with the later nights.

last night was her first time of being allowed out late and getting the bus home with her friends, altho they had the curfew of 10pm as long as they let us know which fiml they were seeing if it was finishing slightly later (ie, if too late then we would go pick them up as I didn;t want them coming home on the late bus with a load of drunken people (little did I know that they were planning on being some of the drunken people).

anyhooooo

it has happened. they got caught out in a truly awful way, but nothing happened like rape or worse (thankgod, seriously, thankgod!!), and a good samariton rescued my daughter, to whom I will forever be grateful. the thoughts going thru my head last night and today of the 'what-ifs' really have been bad, and I am trying so damn hard to focus on the good. tis hard tho!

still, they seem to be aware of what they have done, really they do. there is no back-chat or defensiveness, so we must be doing part of our job right

unlike that other thread.....poor poor girl if it is true

You sound like a good mum and she probably is sensible but peer pressure combined with the invincibility of youth are a powerful cocktail!Thank god she is safe.My son is generally sensible too but i know our time will come.I am slightly neurotic and will be a wreck I suppose. When I read some of the posts about kicking kids out with no shoes etc my heart breaks for them,they are still children even when they f**k up.

noddy, I could have done without this dose of strong medicine tho, I must admit. please tell your DS that if this serves as a lesson, then listen to your parents, they do actually know what they are talking about sometimes.

what is getting to me at the moment is that I actually thought her more sensible than this. altho, that said, teens are by nature not sensible as they are learning life lessons by living them. DD1 certainly learnt a life lesson last night.

I am now in bed, she is tucked in with me, and we have both had a hug. she is still feeling yack ((looooooong lesson with that I hope)), but is very sorry, has said she knows now what we have gone thru, and loves us deeply, as we do her, as so we go on towards the next lesson our teens throw at us.

Have been reading this out to ds who is 15 and currently being allowed more freedom.His eyes are popping out.Thank god it turned out ok for you and her.How terrifying I was on teh verge of tears reading it.It is only stuff like this which makes us stronger I suppose xxxxxxx

Well mine ended up in A&E, because he was at someone else's house, & they panicked & sent him there. Having been on various drips he wasn't nearly as ill next day as he deserved to be so learned less of a lesson - I think your DD's recovery will stick in her mind (hope so )

Do save the thread (just save it locally on your PC, & print it off, that should be plenty)

thanks aitch. I am hoping for a peaceful night too, altho DS2 being caught on top of the shed at 8.15pm tongiht was kind'a going against that (I swear they are out to cause me heart faliure)

oh my god psycho i'm so glad that you got her home safe by the end of the thread. a peaceful night to you all.

am planning on seeing if I can get the thread saved TBH, so as to refer back to it when they start fogetting, or pushing for later curfews/bus home etc.

how has your unconscious teen revcovered??

psycho, I've been there too with an unconscious drunken teenager

Have read the whole thread & am so glad to hear that everything has turned out as well as it has.

Please make sure though that when the horror has dissipated, a few months down the line, you keep reminding her about last night. Kids have short memories & they need the nudge

mynaughtylittlesister, thankyou.

I have to say, had they 'just' come home drunk, I too would have been fuming.

this tho.............this was pure hell and 'just' coming home drunk seems like pure heaven! (not for one minute taking your fumingness away from you tho, tis just that being on the side that you obviously dread from the drunken experimenting I am finding it hard IYGWIM)

has your DD learnt from this do you think?? how is her hangover, does she have a hangover <<hopeful that she does for you sake>>.

I too am hoping this is lessons learnt by my others. DD2 is sulking that this is going to ruin her abilty to be 15 now

Psycho, just what to say I had a little bit of the same situation last night. DD came home drunk, she had been at a party at a rowing club. I was fuming. My DD was 15 last week. I am too really annoyed at the people who think its ok to buy alcohol for children who are under age.

I feel for you, lets hope DDs have learnt a lesson and our other DDs (I too have 3 DDs)don't feel the need to experiment.

You make a good point, frightners would be great. if one perosn gets the 'willies' put up them for it, then it might get round.

psycho not suggesting you'd really get the cash, just that someone needs to be putting the frighteners on the suppliers .

boden, am lots calmer now. I am stunned actually at how common this is. I knew it happened of course, but didn;t KNOW quite how bad (IYGWIM).

DD1 today tho is so sorry about what she put us thru. she has seen how devestated I was this morning, and her friend has said how terrified they both were last night when they lost her as they truly thought someone had got her.

I really do think she has learnt a lesson today. and all I am glad about is that as horrid the lesson has been (and believe me, I will not forget this feeling!), I am so relieved that the outcome has been this, rather than somehting tragic.

Psycho - live near you and this seems to be par for the course on a Saturday night. My DD is also 15 and went to her first beach party last week. She spent the evening looking after a complete stranger who was puking up what she thought was neat vodka. Lots of the girls in her year seem to get night buses home after their parents are in bed so they don't know how much they've drunk. Really feel for you, they have to be pretty strong to not follow the crowd.

Hope you're both OK now.

tatt, tis proving it tho. altho the dad might well be able to profess upon them the seriousness of it seeing as he is a policeman maybe. he is very cross about what went on, especially as he is out regularly picking up teens at weekends. he was not impressed on it being his own daughter and friends this time!!

flame, will also sort out a hot water bottle too, thanks for the tip

glad you are feeling better. Whoever gave the alcohol to them could be prosecuted. I think its just a 60 pound fine - but enough to make brothers think again if they did pass it on to the girls? I think maybe a policeman dad could suggest they paid you the amount of the fine in compensation if you don't press charges????

Psycho - DD is already saying her legs are aching... calpol before bed is prob a good idea your end too (makes sense to warn you)

ooh purple, fab idea
we can see the baby then too

Giant baby! What joy! Tell them you believe in spacious living

Well Flame you will just have to come once you've had the baby

I'm already getting slightly disconcerted with bump size the way people keep saying "Really?" when I say I am due mid October, and then start muttering about people being due much sooner who are smaller.

at red goatee

oh god yeah not a good idea with huge bump
gutted though

I think I'm going to have to skip. Derby was hard going, and that was with a much smaller bump. By then I will be much further along with twice the length journey - think it would be unwise

oooh good

I have no rabbits but pleasse help me not to slosh milk into food and stuff

and we have apple trees in the garden!!

flame, that was supposed to be a secret. they might now realise the truth about me think I am actually a hairy trucker!

tells you on the back, but have no fear, I am quite good at finding the right wine

dusty......please stop panicking. I will be fine, I am well practised in living with some dust. oh, and believe me, the extension causing much dust, and I am still breathing. my body will be able to ignore normal dust by the time I come

coffee, instant is perfect for me

roffle flame

are you coming too?

<whispers> by red and wheezy she means she gets a rash that maker her look like she has a red goatee

thankyou both

motherpi, wine would have been hit earlier I think had I not had a party to sort out!

shite how do I know if wine has sulphites in
red and wheezy does not sound good

<starts to panic>

shit, my house is dusty
<makes mental note to dust...ALOT>

filter coffe is that expensive stuff innit?
no fear of finding that here

missed this, psycho. What a worry. Glad it's turned out ok.

Oh Psycho what a horrific 24 hours - I am amazed that you dealt with it so marvellously without hitting the wine way before now.

molly, I am going to copy and paste this thread for when one of my others try it (altho they are all now grounded until they leave home now anyway, so it won;t happen.............will it??).

seriously, my heart has been thru the ringer today, but I have spoken to lots of friends today, plus MIL, and the taling about it has helped, as have all you lovely lot.

I haven;t exploded too much anyway.

right then, on to 'normal things'.......trinity. am allergic to......

milk
tree fruits
filter coffee
black bean sauce
wine with sulphites (altho I 'only' go red and wheezy. no need to stab me if I do have some)
cats, dogs and rabbits (but my antihistamines help lots with that. cats are worse for me than dogs tho...I grew up with dogs so I think my body copes better).
tree and grass pollen
house dust mite (altho my house is very dusty and I am not dead yet)

also allergic to lots of medications, but as long as you are not planning on testing medications on me, I think I can safely assume I am ok on that score.

Holy Moley, just seen this thread.
Glad everything is ok Psycho now,
what a night!
Some of us are mentally storing away this thread for a couple of years' time...

roffle purple
well I figure that if I poison her (accidently I might add0 that she would rather BE stabbed than not

but I really dont want to have to do it

could get dh to I guess

Don't say that Trinity or she might not come

But will add if you do need stabbed Psycho I will do it for you

oops and happy birthday ds1

so glad everything has turned out ok and you are feeling calmer now

onto important things

what else are you allergis to cause I do not want to make purple stab you

Yes and happy birthday to DS1!

Just to let you know.......

DD is counting the days until you all arrive

She cannot wait to meet her twin

yes, I have indeed survived trillian<<phew>>. mind you, was really not expecting to have to (lived in hoped).

cornsilk, good news indeed

purple, tis still his birhtday until bedtime, so not too late at all

I am so glad everything is okay, got really worried when I saw the first post and have been speed-reading to find out what happened.

I think you've dealt with this really well, the pain and the fear and seeing how worried you were is nearly punishment enough. I hope she remembers and understands how her actions have consequences on everyone else as well as her. I am on the side of being shocked that she and her friends got separated somehow, but if they have been friends for so long then hopefully they will be much more aware of checking up on each other when (in many many years time) they consider trying alcohol again.

And well done surviving your first teen alcohol incident

So glad everything turned out ok in the end

Wish ds1 a great birthday from us up here(better late than never)

Good news!

hello all...........a much calmer me now

she is still 'dying'. she is claiming to never ever ever touch alcohol again, and she hates me for allowing 12 children come for a party<<snigger>>.

I have just had the most calmest party ever tho, considering it was a 9yr old boys football party. I think all the hell from last night has made today seem very simple. I have not gotten stresses or wound up at all..........silver cloud lining here

now sat down with a glass of wine, megs is looking like hell at me, but she is home safe.........all my family is safe tonight, and the day has turned out lovely after the hidious start.

my new neighbour has been fab. she helped last night at the beginning of the nightmare, then came over to see how things fared during the night, got cross that I didn;t knock for help for the A&E issue and told me never ever to not call on her if needed (altho am desperately hoping we are never in this situation agaon!)!

her two girls plus step daughters have been here for the party, and she has now got all my small ones in hers as they went and bought a trampoline while the party was going on. life is back to normal

blimey psycho!!poor you,what a worry it must have been!
glad shes all ok and safe.
im dreading mine becoming teens!

Actually I would not allow her to lie on the couch, I would make her work through her hangover.

Do you have any cupboards that need cleaning out, or a gebil or rabbit hutch that needs attention. ??

So sorrry you had to deal with this Psycho.

Glad she's ok.

On the valuables front - is it not worth a walk along the beach, maybe with a metal detector, to see if you can find anything?

Hopefully it will have frightened all of them psycho.

buda, the friends were tracked down on the bus coming home to tell us that they had lost megs, and then the policeman dad went and collected them from said bus once we managed to find them. not sure still what happened from them as when they were tracked down they were hysterical about losing her and terrified of our reaction.

it has been a huge drama. and I feel bad as they were supposed to be staying at my house for a sleep-over, and all this happened on 'my watch'. all us mums had spoken the day before as they were ensuring I was ok with the girls sleeping over before DS1's birthday. I had said yes, and they were all wanting to come home on the bus for the very first time and we all figured that all coming on the same one to the same house would ensure safety-in-numbers type thing.

thankfully no-one is blaming anyone else, as we all agree that this is a 'normal' teen thing to try. all upset with the girls for the lying and the getting so drunk they seperated from megs.(well, assuming so....as I said earlier one of the girls has now gone away. cannot speak for her or her mum at the mo, altho I know her of old - these girls have been friends since starting reception!)

glad to hear shes okay psycho mum and u got through it so well, fro my teens i remember the guilt and shame i felt for putting my mum through the stress was enough to teach me my lesson (sort of) i think if you sit down and talk to her properly about the dangers of drinking and also not feel pressured into drinking to keep up with friends. my mum never did this and i think thats why i ended up doing it again. she definately needs some sort of discipline for it i think. but leave it for a few days anyway and enjoy the rest of the day with your son!

< squeeze for you >

kimi, I am tempted believe me.

am emotionally rung out now, and beginnning to feel ever-so-slightly knackered due to the lack of sleep.

oh, flame...........DS2 was achy legs and mild temp and coughing. assuming it was from excitement of party added to going into the neighbours paddling pool. he is not able to cope with icy cold water! he is fine today, altho is saying he had no sleep due to me shouting at DD1, nowt to do with legs and him sobbing that he needed calpol and a hot water bottle then for several hours!

I have a party for 9yr old boys to do<<wail>>

Psycho, just wanted to post and say I am glad she is ok now.
What an awful night for you all.

God pyscho. What a drama. Hopefully this will have scared her and she won't touch alcohol again for a long time.

Did you discover what happened to her friends? How come they left her?

It doesn't bear thinking about what could have happened if someone else had found her.

Years ago a boy who lived near us had a few friends round when his parents were out. They all drank and the friends left. The boy went out into their garage to hide the bottles and fell, bumped his head and knocked himself out. He then vomited and choked. His sister came home and found him dead on the floor. He was 16. She was 18.

Drink is so scary really.

oh p5 poor you, I am so glad your DD is home safe, i do not think you are being unreasonable in the least, even if you do ground her till she is 18

inlaws been and gone, DH now out with DS1 collecting a child for the birthday, plus the birthday cake that COMPLETELY slipped my mind as regards to needing one.

birthday is going well. DS1 seems as oblivious to it all as only 9yr old boys CAN BE, and is thrilled with his pressies.

oh, and my son can strip and make a bed it seems. we bought him a Chelsea FC duvet cover and he wanted it on straight away. I asked him to wait while doing various things and he decided to do it himself. he is soooooooo proud of himself.

DD1 is still feeling crappy, now in the bath tho as she is full of sand. she is sipping flat coke to bring up her sugar levels, and altho the thought of food is making her cringe, she has more colour in her face finally.

she is sooooo very very very sorry. she keeps hugging me when she is able to, and saying sorry, that she loves me, and she feels so bad about what happened, altho she cannot remember much.

I rang the lady who found her, and said a huge thankyou. the lady in question was thankful it all turned out ok, and said that when they found her she really was in a state, and they felt they could not just walk past and leave her as it was clear she was a young teen (she might facially look old enough, but body-wise she certainly looks younger than she is). they could not get much sense out of her bar DH's phone number that we have drummed into all of them for a long time (for just such a 'just-in-case' scenerio. not that I ever imagine it would really happen.

anyway, alls well that ends well. she is safe at home with us, nothing more damaged other than her pride and head (ie, hang-over head) and sore tummy from the vomiting. oh, and the fact that she has upset us with it all!

another badge in my parenting belt<<sigh>>

so sorry op, not read all the thread but what an awful thing to happen

Psycho, just come across this thread and read all the way through. WHAT a relief your DD is OK. I can't even begin to imagine what you went through last night.

I think this is a valuable lesson learned for your DD and from what you've said she sounds like the sort of girl who will indeed learn from it. This is something that is v comforting.

Poor you, all this on your DSs birthday too!! I hope he's having a lovely day despite all the going's on and you're able to enjoy this gorgeous weather.

x x

Sympathies psycho, especially as its ds birthday - I hope you sort everything out and that dd realises how upset you are

I'm so pleased she's OK. It can be really difficult to assess people who have been drinking as the alcohol can mask things like a head injury. My brother did this by the way. I think the hangover put him off for a very long time

Glad that things are getting sorted for you psycho.

Psycho.. Have only just seen this. OMG <hugs>

you poor poor thing. flipping dc's

Happy birthday to ds hope he has a lovely day!

You have handled this really well. mean though it sounds I do hope her hangover lingers on a while.. grrrr
as you say the only thing you can do is start again with the trust thing.

I do so hope that she really has learnt her lesson. ( blimey learnt mine with an incident not half as dramatic or worrying.. so she should do).

thinking of you and hope that your day isn't so bad

Give her a bowl and let her get on with it - no sympathy.

What was wrong with DS2 anyway? Both mine went to bed with temps last night but seem fine today.

I am glad to hear that things are getting back on an even keel this morning, Psycho, and I agree that you have handled this exceptionally well.

Letting your daughter see how upset you were and helping her understand why you and her friend were so scared will have made a huge impact on her.

She and her friends have learned a valuable lesson, and without dire consequences.

I hope that you have a good day today, and that ds's birthday goes well.

psycho I'm so glad that she is safe with you today and it is not as bad as you imagined.
I echo what diff says chase everything, the bar and the older boys need to have a chat with some police officers and maybe a stint in the a&e dept themselves or something, I like to demonstrate consequences.
I admire the way you are dealing with this, re: tears, let it out!

Happy Birthday littly.

'kin hell Psycho, was clearly terrifying. Am so glad dd is home safe. And clearly chastened.

(Happy birthday to ds btw, dd should ALSO feel guilty for something that could have ruined his birthday and certainly leaves you and dh too knackered to enjoy it.)

the bars could still be prosecuted if they even thought it was being bought for the girls.

I'm emotionally drained for you just reading this thread. Yes, we've all done it, yes our kids will do it but holy crap what a horrifically scarey night for you.

This might be one for all those parents of teenage girls to print out and leave on their pillow to read!!

What the hell, <<HUG>>!

Diff, not 100% sure on who, but it seems that one of the girls (who has two older brothers in their late teens), managed to get it thru them. not sure if it was the brothers, or friends of the brothers, who think that buying for 15yr old girls is funny!!

oh yes! HAppy Birthday to ds!

thankyou all for the hugs and the birthday wishes BTW

the inlaws are now on their way with pressies for DS1 and hugs for me.....I sobbed on the phone when they rang to say happy birthday

still flitting between the terror pic in my head, and the thankful-she-in-ok feeling, but girl in question is groaning on the settee asking why they invented alcohol

AIBU for having no sympathy

Psycho- just a thought. Where did they get enough alcohol to get that pissed? Because you could potentially have the bars/ shops prosecuted for selling alcohol to minors.

Glad she's ok and that you're calming down. Maybe get her to save the other half of her pocket money for a couple of weeks for a really basic PAYG phone? Got my sons for £10 in Argos.

Glad all is well in the Psycho household this morning and happy brithday to DS, I assume he won't be drinking for a while after seeing his sister in such a state

You sound as though you are dealing with it excellently hopefully lessons are learnt from now on!!!

Lord what a horrible night for you all.

I think you have handled this incredibly well.

I think you've handled this remarkably well and no doubt all concerned will think twice about doing it again. Hope your DS has a very Happy Birthday.

glad she is ok and you seem to be coping very well

doubt she will ever do it again, it has probably shocked her as much as it has you!

Psycho, sounds like you are dealing very well with this, and hope you won't have any more "trouble" with her.

Hope that your ds has a good birthday, despite everything!

Trinity sent me a link to this so I could send <HUGS>

Am dreading when our kids get to that age and want to experiment!

But as you say Psycho it's the lying to you that hurts, glad she is ok, as you said it could have been loads worse, she will probably not want to drink ever again.

<HUGS> again.

oh, and other friend.....she has gone away on hols this monring, hence why I have not mentioned her.

am really hoping the hang-over for her is punishment

slightly calmer me here now.

have spoken to the other mum, and been to see her with DD1, as DD1's friend was in a complete state....she had thought her friend possibly raped and murdered, and until she saw her was not settling! I am not blaming anyone. they were all in it together (ie, the lying to us about where they were going and the getting alcohol, and lets be honest, we all do it at some point), they made a huge mistake in how it ended up, and my DD was the one who came off the worst.

I have had a sobbing fit on J (friends mum), and DD1 has seen how upset I am, and why (ie, the going missing and being found by the police in whatever state), plus I have finally got thru to her that the scariest part is that the state she was in could well have led to something truly tragic happening.

I have also pointed out to her that my reaction stems from my love, and as disapointed I am in her for the lying, I still love her and it will be gotten thru as I calm down further.

punishment wise..........she has lost her phone and ipod, she has seen my terror and her friends terror, and she feels really really ill. she is grounded for the half-term, and then we will build back up slowly with the going out and curfews etc. I don;t think she will ever do this again somehow tho!

oh, and she is going to have half-pocket money for a while to pay for a new phone, the ipod should be covered on insurance <<fingers crossed>>

still, one way to look at this. I have survived my first real drunken episode with a teen

how awful psycho

would echo those who say dont come down too hard on her, it is a teenage thing!

yes it was wrong and she knows that and is probably ashamed beyond belief.

The way she was found is upsetting, but I hope it teaches them all a lesson

eek! Glad to hear dd is ok.

Don't know what to suggest really but you do need to prepare them to cope better with situations of this type (going out and drinking basically) in future. I think all the kids and their dp need to have a serious not necessarily nasty but very clear and firm chat about what could have gone drastically wrong here and where they slipped up and what to do in future to make sure everyone who goes out gets safe back to their respective homes (at the very least really). That dad who is a police officer could be a big help with that.

A 15 year old girl lying drunk and defenseless on a beach at night is a very bad scenario, two 15 year old girls staggering about drunk and not knowing who is where and what they are doing is not much better.

This all lies ahead for me in the frightening future. Gawd. Good luck with it.

I wasn't suggesting the friends are to blame, btw...just think it is a good opportunity to help them understand about safety in numbers at this age!

I agree, it is 'normal' teenage behaviour and I was certainly guilty of both the excess drinking and losing friends, until the incident I mentioned above happened. We then made an agreement to always have one person who didn't drink (or so much!) and that we knew where each other was staying that night, which worked for about a year, then we thought we were far too sophisticated for hanging around streets

so sorry to hear what happened to you dd

least she is home safe and sound now

most of us on here have prob done the same and got drunk under age, though most of us in that situation prob havent been left alone

agree let your dd know how scared you were and you are cross, but also tell her you love her, and let her earn your trust again

Can I just say that I know at least one of the friends, which is why I am surprised at the not staying together etc. I would be angry with Psychogirl1 if it had been the friend found too. It is not like them to split up.

Are you sure her purse was stolen & not lost?

Are you sure it wasn't your DD's friends who stole her stuff? Not trying to alarm you, but that was the first thing I thought when I read your post, but then I was bullied very badly in high school. Getting someone very drunk, dumping them after stealing their stuff was all pretty par for the course. Check that first, before you have a go at her for breach of trust.

It's pretty easy to get separated from your friends when you are drunk. That's apparently what happened here. I think the focus on the friends from some posters is kind of ridiculous. The fact that they didn't manage to stay together is one of the many dangerous consequences of getting so drunk.

I used to live near an area where young people went out to get pissed. I often found semi-conscious youngsters with no idea of where their friends were. It's part of the "fun" - wandering off in search of new people to talk to and being too out of it to find your way back (if your friends are evev there any more).

Unless you operate a system where one person stays sober to look after the rest, this is to be expected. Presumably if they had the cop on to know this they might have thought twice about drinking so much in the first place.

How scarey for you, hope your DS has a lovely day. x

What a relief that she is home safe and sound (apart from the hangover she'll hopefully have)

I agree with Ladida and Reality about how to deal with it (but in years to come, when mine are teenagers I'll probably be heard ranting at them!). The 'disappointment' card always worked for me when younger.

Hope you have a good birthday celebration today.

psycho - like you my natural reaction is to be furious and ground them. It doesn't work. You're going to have to try to keep to the really disappointed with your behaviour (note not you) line. Teenagers expect to be grounded after such behaviour - why not try to discuss with her what she feels would be a reasonable response to her behaviour?

i presume her friends were drunk as well
i really don't think you can hold a couple of pissed teenagers responsible for your dd
what a horrible shock for you, and so glad nothing worse happened to her
but it is her job to look after herself and makes sure that she has safe amounts to drink and knows where she is going - not her friends' job
in an ideal world there would be a sensible friend there who took care of her - but most 15 year olds are pretty daft, and when they have all been drinking....
it really was your dd's responsibility - you seem to be assessing the situation as if she is a child and the rest are adults

sound advice there from Reality

With my "incident" my mum didn't bring it up at all tbh (I don't know how much was down to me being that bit older). I was mortified that she had seen me like it (and that she thought I might have taken drugs), the three day hangover was hell. I think me being very sheepish and saying sorry a lot was enough to show that I felt terrible about it and would only do it once more wouldn't do it again

I don't actually agree that it is up to the other parents to deal with the friends. I think it is a really good opportunity to invite the friends over and have a chat with them altogether about how important it is to look out for each other.

Their parents can talk to them about drinking - that's their lookout - but they need to see and understand what happened and how it made everyone feel when they didn't have each other in mind (or got so drunk they couldn't!).

A friend of a friend, sadly, was raped after being left by her friends in a drunken state and the group of friends never really got over that.

They will take risks (experimentin with alcohol, for example) but they need to have some ground rules - even agreed amongst themselves - about how they stay 'safe'.

Hope DS has a good birthday, psychomum.

Psycho, I did similar as a teen and my parents labelled me as trouble straight away.

It got brought up frequently (still is in fact) and the result was that I thought I may as well carry on behaving that way (disappearing, getting drunk etc) as that's all they expected of me.

Please, please make sure she knows that you love her and you know it was a blip, not WHO she is.

I don't want to scare you but I ended up leaving not long after to live with my BF's family and spent the next few years drifting around, doing drugs and shagging randoms and generally wasting. And I had a LOVELY middle class upbringing, I just couldn't deal with my parents' disappointment in me. Before I got drunk that first time I had been a model daughter and student and the turnaround was very quick and (I think) could have been avoided.

I was the eldest of four.

Please just have a day, maybe, of disappointment and anger or whatever, and then draw a line under it and make her feel safe and loved and that nothing has changed.

The hangover and guilt will be a big punishment for her (and the having no money).

I am baffled as to where her friends went, and yes, it isn't their fault, but still with them.

She is 3 yrs earlier than me doing this, but I was a late starter

(Was a bit about the bright idea for goalposts yesterday )

Aww Psyco- glad everything is OK (sort of...) Hope your son's birthday turns out better than yesterday..xx

The bit of parenting we all dread. I am "glad" it is just a hangover - she was very lucky!

Hope you are OK and your ds has a great birthday.

Gosh Psycho mum how awful for you. I remember doing stuff like that as a teenager as well. Hope you have a good day.

OMG Psycho hope you are ok,
I think maybe the silent treatment for awhile let her think it over,
there is nothing worse than not being told off when your a teenager means your in big trouble!

if she is sensible she will be shitting herself and probably won't ask to go out for a week or 2 anyway

hope ds enjoys his birthday

right, have birthday stuff to do. I will be back periodically when I need excape from trying not to kill her!!

<<not literally BTW, figure of speech!>>

just been on the phone to DD1's best friends mum.......she is as mortified as me!

I am not blaming any one person....they lied, got drunk (normal teenage stuff, I did it myself), then somehow the other two got seperated from my DD, who as she is smaller than them is less able to handle the alcohol, and as b'mouth is so big, of course they went off different directions, and DD1 was found collasped.

tis the way she was found that is upsetting me

Blimey Psycho, sounds like you had a nightmare night.

Hope that you're all ok today.

Huge hugs Psycho. How horrible for you. So scary.

Oh definitely don't shout at her. My mother was always shouty and nasty if I messed up and it did no good at all, just antagonised the situation. I always wanted to point out that no one shouted at her and told her she was stupid if she messed up. I knew that I'd done something stupid she always just mde it worse.

Be calm and speak to her like an adult.

Well I'm just thinking of my 14 yr old son and his mates. They go out together, they stick together, if one of them got into trouble (as happened recently with a couple of older lads), they don't ditch each other. I know the girls here were all pissed but surely there's still some kind of moral code where you don't leave one of your mates in a drunked stupor . Psycho's daughter made a mistake by a) getting pissed at 15 (but I'm sure we've all done that) and b) by allowing herself to be so vulnerable (but she's 15 and at 15 I thought I was invincible). I simply can't get over the fact that her 'mates' left her, sorry

Flaminhell, no-one is saying it is her friends fault, they are saying that her friends should have known better than to leave a drunk 15yo girl alone on the beach - which they should. Basic rules of drinking I am afraid, don't leave someone alone when they are incapable.

I may be flamed for this, but here we go, why is his the fault of the friends, i assume she can think and act for herself, and at 15 she is able to assess right from wrong.

Also don't be too hard on her, she will have learnt her lesson, she will be scared and embarrassed not only from you but the said friends, especially if her mum is going to go around saying it was their fault not hers. Shes home shes safe, let her know thats whats important, let her know she can trust you when she makes a misake, you will help her and advise her, not give her a serious telling off, none of us ever learnt a thing from grounding or a yelling match. I learnt my lessons from my own mistakes and how hey affected me, not from my mum shouting.

Poor you psycho. What a night.

I think that you're right to make her use her pocket money to contribute to the cost of the missing items though I would also check your contents cover, perhaps without letting on to her if it turns out that you are covered.

I think that you need to sit down and talk to her about it only once you are sure that you can stay calm and rational, so maybe today you should just say to her "dd, we need to talk about your behaviour last night but today I am too upset and do not want what you did to spoil ds's bday so we will talk tomorrow. You can think about what you did and how you will have to work to regain our trust." I would put the emphasis on her thinking about her behaviour and how it's affected you and the risky stuation she put herself in.

Good luck.

Agh stupid computer - DEAL with them, is what I meant

oh psycho, I have only just seen this
<hugs>
I'm so sorry this has happened
I dont have teenagers and to be honest I am terrifed of when mine get to that age.
really have nothing to say that could help

I'm very glad she is ok

lots more <hugs>

No, the friends did a terrible thing, but the op can only deal with her own daughter.

Making this about the fact that she was abandoned (by presumably similarly young, foolish and pissed friends), rather than about the fact that she got herself into such a state that she couldn't look after herself, will teach her nothing.

The friends' parents must desk with them.

Psycho, sorry to hear this has happened to your dd, I am glad she is ok (well apart from the headache and roasting she will get )

I know you are pretty raw right now but I just wanted to say that, having our trust broken and being let down by our children is a right of passage we parents have to go through, just like not knowing when to stop drinking and ending up rather overdone is a teenagers right of passage.

I agree about replacing the IPod and Phone etc but I just want you to not take it so badly for yourself, when I think back to the number of ways I dissapointed and upset my parents as a teenager it makes me cringe now. However I was just a normal teenager, overdid the alcohol once and never did it again etc.

I know the fear is a large part of it but it makes me really sad for you both to hear that your trust is broken. She messed up but you know she is a good girl, you know she is trustworthy. This is one mistake, she will make others but please don't feel all that trust is gone after just one incident.

Ditto the friends abandoning her. Definitely NOT friends in my book. And please contact their parents if you know who they are - the other kids involved should accept some responsibility IMO. How they thought it was acceptable to leave an inebriated 15 yr old alone on a beach is beyond my comprehension

Two things

does your contents insurance cover her ipod etc

and WHY did her friends leave her there?? They are the ones I'd be fuming at, really.

we have done pressies and DH and the boys are now setting up goals in our lounge<<wibble>>......why did I buy them, they are HUGE!!

as for DD1, well.........I will no doub be coming here to vent and ask advice later on how to deal with it.

the 'broken' comment from me is the trust thing, and the simple fact that for about 2hrs I knew that something had happened (call it mothers intuition if you like), but had DH and the friends mum telling me that all would be ok, stop panicking, why am I panicking, they have never done anything to warrant the panic etc etc, and then she IS located, and the story of her being found half-concious on the beach, and my imagination went into over-drive, and in fact hasn;t stopped

I am TRYING to see this as a normal teenage thing, and am trying to let it go (well, with a punishment on the lying obviously), and just letting the hang-over and the scare witht eh police and A&E do the rest.

but

I am not at that stage yet!

I am all for grouding her until she is 18. obviously that is not practical OR fair, but anger and fear as battling inside, and I am not feeling practical or fair.

oh, and she is going to be pretty poor for a few months, as pocketmoney is stopped until the mobiles and iphone is payed for.

will be back

Go a bit easy on her, she was just being 15.

She doesn't understand how vulnerable she is like you do. This opens up a pretty good opportunity to talk to her about the dangers of alcohol when she will actually listen

You poor thing, what a night you've had.

Happy birthday to your DS, tis a right of passage, we have all done it, cant imagine what uit is like from the other side though, will be a long time till I have to face that one.

Hope things are a bit calmer for you all this morning...

Hope your DS has a good birthday!

but, as for DD, dont be too mad (although i know its nature to want to be), i'm sure the scare and trip to A&E will have frightened her.. unfortunately i think we ALL do that at least once when we're teens.

When you're both feeling better sit down and have a serious talk about it.

morning all.

she is ok. DH sorted her in the end, I needed to sort out DS2 as he woke poorly just as we were trying to work out how to get her up and in the car (wasn;t wanting to do 999 altho NHS direct said that it was actually a warrented situation).

i have been on the settee with said boy, then DH got me up to bed at 5.30 when they got back.

she is ok. sore head, but it has all just been alcohol (cider, the teens haven;t changed it seems since I was one).

I am right now beyond livid, she has broken something inside me. I was slowly giving her more leeway, later curfew etc. this was her first time getting home on her own, this is what she does

anyway.

I have a birthday boy to try and get happy for, will be back later.

just read this thread hope your dd is ok this morning

Thinking of you, hope everyone is OK this morning.

how is she this morning sweetheart? and you of course? Must have been horrible for you!!

Hope everything is ok. My daughter did almost exactly the same thing at the age of 15. She's 18 now, and the one good thing to come out of it is that she now has a healthy respect for alcohol.

Oh Psycho! I'm so sorry to hear this! I hope everything is OK and DD is over the worst of it. No doubt she's going to feel like shit all day today. Poor wee thing! Sending lots of unMN hugs to you and DD. xxx

also, do you know the 'friends' she went out with. Shocking and inexcusable if they have simply abandoned her - I would be speaking to their parents once you know your daughter is okay.

Let us know how you got on psycho. So sorry - kids do v stupid things sometimes (I know I did). Hope its just booze and she recovers quickly. It will certainly be a shock to her (and maybe a valuable lesson) to wake up in A&E . Hope you are both okay

Hope she is ok

What a terrible thing to happen, I don't think kids realise how quickly you can go from being a bit merry to full on paralytic drunk.

I hope everything went ok at the hospital and that your DD is sleeping it off right now,

Just seen this Psycho! What a terrible shock! I hope she is OK this morning - and the worst after effect is a nasty hangover....

Poor you and DD, hope she is ok this morning.

hope everything's ok too. hopefully it will just be a very sore head and a lesson learned. also hope her friends are a bit sheepish to say the least.

Hope everything is ok. x

thinking of you, psychomum...
let us know when you are back from A&E

Hope she's ok and in bed sleeping it off. Hopefully the experience an d losing mobile and ipod touch is enough to put her off drinking

Happy Birthday to your ds!

Any news? Hope she is ok x

hopeshes ok

<<big hugs, psychomum>> hope your dd will be alright. and I do hope you get some satisfactory answers about the friends.

Oh psycho how scary

Son't really know what to say, didn't want to read & run. Sounds like you've had good advice, hope she is ok.

<hugs>

I'm sorry that I came late to this thread, and even sorrier for you and your daughter, psycho.

I hope that you'll be able to come back tomorrow and tell us that she's ok and just feeling sorry for herself.

Poor lass. I hope she is ok. What a shock for you Psycho.

omg just seen this poor kid

will be thinking of you both.... xx

Oh Psycho

Hope it is just a bit too much alcohol and that she is ok when it wears off.

Take care- I really hope she's alright.
Please consider calling an ambulance- at least then you won't have to worry about driving/parking etc x

I hope she's OK. Let me know tomorrow.

You need to moan at the police for not taking her there.

just to say thanks all. am taking her to A&E

Oh no hope you get her to a&e safely. I think they can do blood tests on ghbs if it's done within eight hours just to rule that in/out.
It will put your mind at rest and also let her know how serious this is.
I can't believe the behaviour of her so called friends, what a complete let down!
In the morning I would call the police officer parent and get to the bottom of exactly what happened.
V. scarey for you all, hope you succeed in giveng ds a good birthday.

I agree with all. She definitely needs to get checked out. So sorry

on the phone, being transfered to speak to a nurse

I have also known someone to slip into a trance like coma for a day because of an allergy to alcohol.

Defonately urgent IMO.

She could well have had either a bang on the head or her drink spiked with something (more alcohol than she thought she was getting is as likely as roofies). Equally, she could have eaten something particularly nasty like a salmonella-riddled hotdog as well as the booze - is she coherent enough to be asked about that? I think you do need to get her to A&E if she can't keep water down.

Trust your instincts. If you feel you're not going to rest until you know she is okay then take her to A & E tonight - if you consider it an urgent problem. I know I would take my 16 year old DD to A & E if she was reacting to alcohol in the way you're describing. It is possible she could have been spiked or abused, sadly. Which is why it would be sensible to get her checked out asap. And sorry for my mistake about DS1's birthday.

They always say this. Phone them back or just give A&E a call and see what they say. The police normally take drunk children to A&E, I've seen a few of them.

Yes, it does.

If you want serious you tell them your 15 year old child is incoherent, shaking and vomiting and although you believe it to be alcohol related you cannot be sure. (not saying this to scare you sweetheart but it certainly sounds serious to me)

Being honest I would just call an ambulance

The paramedics will start checking her over as soon as they arrive- quickest way to get her seen.

yes id say is urgent,

ok NHS is 'exceptionally busy, and only dealing with urgent problems'

does tis count. I know the problem, and am kind of coping....

Psycho my mum was concious when police arrived although pretty much paralised she could tell them her first name and address.

She then seemed to pass out apparently it is a defence machanism keeping them awake but when she saw the authorities it was like she realised she was safe and went out like a light, that was with GHB.

Phone A&E tell them you will be bringing your DD in because they will sort something out so that she will not be kept waiting, I'd say in this instance you could phone an ambulance I know I would.

Horrid situation for you though hoep you and DD manage to get soted tonight.

oh, cyncthia, tis not her birthday, tis her brother (he is 9).

<<argh>>

mamadiva, the girls were located and bought home (one of the dads is in the police!).

they are both ok and claiming that no-one has been drinking, but they are both big girls (well, normall 15yr old sz). my DD is teeny.......I think that they all got drunk, got seperated, and as my DD is unable to cope with the drink it affected her worse.

well, am hoping that is the story.

am going to ring NHS.........will be back

Take her to A & E and don't fall asleep whilst she's still vomiting often - she could choke on her own vomit. Am very sorry to hear about this especially as its her birthday tomorrow. Her 'friends' don't sound at all responsible - piling her with alcohol and then leaving her alone! Poor mite. She won't feel up to celebrating her birthday tomorrow, so it maybe better to delay all celebrations until Monday IYSWIM? Try not to stress, but take her to A & E. Hope you're alright.

Oops catching up since I started typing. Teenagers apparently don't suffer hangovers like adults do - which is why they are so easy for the alcohol brands to get addicted young. She will however feel nasty from all that throwing up and being dehydrated.

Phone them first and see what they say. Then call an ambulance. She needs to be in the recovery position incase she chokes on the vomit. Put her on her side, one knee up to stop her rolling over.

id ring nhs direct first see what they suggest

Do you have a friend you could call to go with you?

Glad that's been ruled out Psycho!

Do you know how she got seperated from her friends? Are they home?

They might know something of what happened surely!

oh, and to answer an earlier Q.the police when DH got there were more concerned by the fact that no-one had any clue as to where her friends were, so handed DD over and went to hunt down the other two girls. A&E was not mentioned as DD1 was mumbling.

tis since getting home that the vomiting and shakes started

Call NHS direct. Ask their advice.

I too am surprised the police didn't suggest she be taken to the hospital.

im sad to say i did this to my poor mum and later my sisters 3 times till i learnt my lesson take her to a&e, they will see her!

I know it must be scary and upsetting to see her like this you will feel happier and have an easier night if you can get her seen tonight. x

I think she should be examined to make sure nobody took advantage of her drunk state.

Part of me is surprised the police didn't do this.

right, so, what first.

i fele stupid.......do i ring first?? I can;t take her on my own, and DH needs to stop with the others (plus he is now asleep as he thought her ok once she was in bed with me).

A&E won't kick you out. If she's not keeping anything down she needs to be on a drip. Alcohol isn't good for little bodies. She needs checking incase she's bumped her head aswell.

mamadive, the police asked her that, plus DH when he finally got to her, she was coherant enought to state no. and altho she has no shoes or cardie, she is otherwise dressed ok, so that is not a panic.

it is the alcohol that is worrying me, and that she is teeny tiny.she has not durnk like this before either, so all this is new to her system

and no a&e won't kick you out, you could always call them first for advice but I bet they'll tell you to bring her in

just concentrate on her for now make sure she is okay ring nhs direct possibly take her 2 A&E. tomorrow cancel her cards if she any have any and make sure theft is reported to police.

I recommend getting her checked out at A&E

tbh I agree with mamadiva, she could have been spiked,it's so common it's scary.

I'd probably take her to A&E just to eb on the safe side, did the police not suggest this?

jesus that's sounds awful

this is so crap

I never ever thought that this would be my DD. it happens yes, but my dd is sensible.

well, she was!

I don't want to scare you just trying to be sensible.

My mum was attacked in September, she had been drugged, assaulted and robbed.

Reason I mention this is because she never gained conciousness for 15 hours, and she still has no recollection of any of it ahppeneing. I hate to say it but could this have happened to your DD or was she definately just drunk?

I'd get her off to hospital and get her checked over.

Again sorry if I've scared you am just cautious of things like this.

she is hime now, in bed with me, vomiting on and off, or shaking.

am tryoing to get water into her, but not very easy.

no idea what to do......will a7e help or just kick us out as she is stupid enough to do this to herself??

Def worth getting her checked out.

Is there somebody you can call to be with you?

Oh psychomum!
Where is she now?

You do need to take her to A&E if she's still like this now. Poor thing

she is 15.

someone found her and managed to ring us (she managed to give them our number), then they handed her to the police.

we had been trying to ring her sine 8pm to sort out collecting. all went to hell at 10pm and we have been sorting it since

is she conscious? are you worried about her? NHS direct number 08454647

are you ok?

You poor thing, is she asleep?

Oh how awful, pls take her to A&E if yu are really worried, they will understand

How old is she, is she home with you now?

OMG psycho

How is she? Could you get her to a hospital?

Oh goodness that sounds awful

How old is she...and where is she now?

oh so sorry to hear that, is she with you now? who brought her back?

and it is DS1 birthday too in the morning.

this is so bad

oh, her friends were finally found by the one frineds dad, who is a police officer, after her mumrang to say that the girls were missing

containing her purse, mobile and new ipod touch that I bought her with my car accident money.

she is not rousable and shaking or vomiting.

help please