I have a similar situation - DS1 is 16 and just started sixth form. I have always worried about his ability to make friends but as long as he had a couple I hoped it would be ok. I hoped when he joined sixth form his social life would improve but its actually got worse and his few friends seem to have moved on from him. Like your son he is bored and wants something more but doesnt get invited to any parties and unfortunately his younger brother has a great social life. I wonder what the best strategy is for this - is it to leave well alone and just make sure they feel loved and secure at home or is it better to guide them with some strategies - i know my DS1 can appear overbearing and does talk over people, not a great listener. I am just a bit concerned that if he knows we are worried then he will get a complex about his lack of popularity. Or is it best to bite the bullet and have a straight conversation with them?

I've got one too - DS 18 and in his first week at uni at the moment. I think he has struggled to make friends since he was about 8, he always has a few but finds socialising difficult. He is another one who doesn't like alcohol ( or coffee) and this maybe puts a bit of a damper on things. He has met a few new people this week - seems to have made two friends, which is not too bad but has found freshers week very difficult - doesn't understand all the staying up late, noise, partying and drinking. I worry about him like mad too

Hi tomal
reading your post and the others prompted me to write. My son ( now 21) was exactly the same. I always thought he had no friends at school yet whenever I went in with him to parents evening there were always boys coming over to him and chatting. I also was very worried why he found it so hard to socialise. He eventually went to uni and made friends but still was not madly social. I think one of the reasons was that he really did not enjoy drinking and to go out to a pub with mates and be the only one sober is not the most fun time !! He has now finished uni and still stays in a lot of the time, so really I think one has to accept that they are all different and the more we as parents worry then the more anxious they will feel. Just be encouraging and supportive and have faith in his ability to make his own way in life.

*let

Such a relief to read these posts. DS (13) has absolutely no friends and any potential friendships at school seem to bite the dust before they get going. It feels very sad to me but he doesn't seem that bothered. Reading all your posts at least makes me feel he's not alone.

lt us know how she goes

Have spoken to the school and they have no spaces so we will have to appeal on refusal. Am going to go for it, and take it from there.

The good thing (at the moment) is that she doesn't want her education to suffer and seems to be doing well in spite of.

The bullying seems to have stopped (for now) but picking up the pieces isn't proving easy.

Thanks for the support - it's a lifeline right now x

sorry took so long to reply, have been out for day

just listen to her, put one option and explain the reasons why

I wouldn't take her out until you have a place though (unless she insists), it will make things even worse if she falls behind with work and this may heap more stress on her

oh good luck (and have a little hug-ette, tis horrible for you and her)

AnyFucker, This is why I'm so worried.

I'm wondering whether to take her out of school altogether until we can get her a place somewhere else, but she also says she doesn't want her education to suffer. There's only one local school (the nearest to us by postcode)that she wants to go to, and has said that she would rather stay where she is 'on her own' and get a good education than go to a school with lower achievement and more friends. So my fear is that she might not get a place in her school of choice (it's oversubscribed) - I can't persuade her to put more than one option down.

but it is the end of the world for your daughter

resigned/flat would make me more concerned than crying, tbh