teenage daughter

[mrsspooz]

Can anyone help us, our daughter is 16 in her last year at school, last summer she was a happy go lucky young girl with a great sense of humour and quick witted, her room was always immaculate and she would always make sure the house was clean and tidy when i was at work.
Then last June she met a boy that goes to her school and since then she has gone down hill at a tremendous pace, her hair has been dyed black, she has had her ears pierced a second time and had the tragis pierced, bearing in mind this (boy doesn't look after himself at all and his upbringing isn't good either) but she has morphed into him, he calls her fat (she was within her weight range for her height) so now she hardly eats and was 7st about a fortnight ago so i imagine now she is under that, all her pocket, christmas money etc goes on things he wants her to buy to the point i take control of her money she looks desperately unhappy, she lies about things now, she isn't how she used to be at all, i wouldn't mind if the boy made her happy but he doesn't, and we don't call him we have him sleep over in the spare room sometimes, he comes out for meals with us etc, so we don't make it out that we dislike him.
Can anyone help us, thanks

[PuzzleRocks]

Bumping for you.

[Ivykaty44]

TBH, she is at the age of trying new things and seeing how far she can push the boundaries with you, teenage dd can be a nightmare in their gsce year and change from being a "pleasant" girl in year 10 to a nightmare in year 11. So it may not actually be that she is directly being lead, but looking for support in her pushing the boundaries.

Let the little things go and only interveen with the major stuff.

Her money is her money though, it is not yours,sorry but I dont agree with taking control of other peoples money, regardless of whether they are your children.

You will have to ride the waves on this and realise she is growing up, things will get better when she is around 22, that is the age they start to appreciate parents agian - on adverage so it could be earlier.

Dont fret and dont worry.

[saphron]

Don't worry about the piercings, thats the small stuff, holes close (the scar yes, but the close).
Its the larger things: how he is scaring her mentally I would worry about. Her self esteem sounds low, is their anyone you can get her to talk too, a good friend? a psychologist? One other thing which might sound extreme, have you any family that live away, that she might like to go and stay with for a 'gap' year. You need to be suptle, but you need to take some control back for HER, you need to make sure that you are taking control back for HER not taking control for yourself .. iswim
Sorry, if that sounds shit. Who you actually need is Custy,

[Haribosmummy]

Is it possible for you to take her away for a nice holiday for a few weeks - where she remembers what it's like to be happy and free?

Seems she may have become bogged down and that cycle might be broken

just an idea.

[mrsspooz]

When i say i have taken control of her money it's not because she has gone through £50 or so, we are at about £500 if not more, but thanks for advice i've spoken to my ex sister in law who lives away if she can stay at Easter so that's the plan so far.

[mrsspooz]

I have also spoken to her school who are going to mention a confidence course to her and try and get her to go it , she doesn't know that i have spoken to the school or she wouldn't agree to it, her head of year is ringing me on Monday to let me know what is happening.