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Teenagers

what should I do

3 replies

mdrooney · 16/01/2009 11:22

Last Night I went into dd1s pencil case to borrow a pen, and found a note written by my dd to her friend, it made feel a bit sad for dd the note was as follows dear..... I know I should talk to you but I am finding it hard I cant understand why you are not talking to me at the moment and it is really upsetting me you making me feel that I am invisable and it makes me feel really upset we were really good friends and now your blanking me please tell what I have done wrong. from ...........
dd1 is in yr 8 and is fairly shy but she seemed to have settled and made friends I have aked dd2 who is in yr7 if dd1 seemed to have friends around at lunch and break and she said yes but she dosent help herself as she always seems to be reading alot, I dont know weather to broach it with her or leave it to sort out, she dosent seem unhappy but dd1 keeps stuff to herself and can be a bit cagey,not like dd2 who is a open book what do you think.

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wingandprayer · 16/01/2009 11:41

Your poor DD . At least you can take heart in the fact she hadn't just accepted the situation with her friend and had written the note to try and sort things out - that shows real maturity I think.

Retreating to books is easier than having to deal with these thinsg head on though isn't it? I remember doing exactly the same. Can you and DD have some time with just the two of you over next couple of days and you can start a discussion about school and see what comes up? Does she have other interests outside school that can help build her confidence?

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mrsmaidamess · 16/01/2009 11:45

Agh, god girls are awful to each other aren't they? My dd has had her far share of 'exclusions' by so called 'friends'.

I don't think you should say you've seen the note. maybe just say she seems a little quiet and down, is there anything going on at school she wants to talk about?

I try to tell my dd that is 99% of the time the other persons problem. I know they internalise everything and think 'What have I done?' when its actually the other girl playing fast and loose with their friendship.

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mdrooney · 16/01/2009 12:30

Thanks for the replys dd2 is out with her friend tonight, so it will give me a chance to spend some time with dd1 on our own, I do worry as she is not so socialy outgoing as dd2, but she does alot of after school clubs, and just auditioned and got into the chamber choir at school which I know boasted her conferdence its just so hard to think of dd hurting.