Teenagers and lack of support from husband

[WJK]

My son spends endless hours on the xbox which is not doing him any good at all. He craves the constant stimulation of playing games for hours at a time. Despite my complaints he continues to play and my husband does not support me to limit the time. He is predicated to gets A's for GCSE's but is getting 2's for effort. He is also taking AS maths early but makes no effort at all with this subject.

His college application should be completed but despite my husband assisting him, it is so badly written with bare miminium of effort. Some questions are answered incorrectly like the name of his parents he just states "Mum". If I comment on this, this will start a fresh row and the blame thrown at me.

Very frustated

[AMumInScotland]

Hi, I can see that must be frustrating. Can you talk to your husband about why you think the time should be limited so that you can have a united front? Does he do his homework/revision before he gets access to the xbox? My DS (15) loves to play on the Wii, but he knows that schoolwork must be completed on time first.

It's tricky if he's doing well in his subjects - do you think he'd be doing better if it wasn't for the xbox? What does he want to do at college - will his grades or effort marks make a difference to him getting the course he wants?

At that age they often think only about very immediate things, but he should start to understand why it matters.

Why does he think it's ok to just put "Mum" on his form? If your husband is meant to be helping with it, maybe you could point this sort of thing out to him to pass on, to reduce the reasons for rows?

[twoluvlykids]

It's frustrating - at least here DH & I are united in our hatred of the PS3, and both of us try to limit DS's time.

I can't work out why your DH helping with an application results in it being incorrectly filled in.

Sounds like you need a chat with DH without DS being around.

[fizzbuzz]

But if he is getting predicted A's for GCSE and 2's for effort I think that is pretty good

I presume a 2 is one below the top grade rather than in reverse order. I am a teacher, and I think what he is getting is pretty impressive. Not everyone can put in full effort all the time. Maybe he doesn't want to do AS Maths he doesn't need to do it, apart from to stretch him.

Don't have answer on college forms etc, but have been through 3 Y11 forms. Most of them come in at the last minute (usually Feb 1/2 term) and plenty after that.... Teenage boys are not the most urgent of creatures IME.

Xboxes are the curse of the devil, my ds 15 has one, but at least I know where he is! I would think in Y11 he was capable of regulating his time on it, but if not, remove the fuse from plug. Most of the parents on Y11 parent's evening tell me this works a treat.

Sorry if that sounds flippant, but from a teachers perspective your son sounds like he is doing pretty well tbh, and behaving like a normal teenage boy