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Teenagers

13 yr old becoming very nasty

2 replies

geminikate · 18/03/2008 21:52

Hi there,
Wonder if anyone is exsperiancing the same problems with their 13 yr olds.
My ds is 13, recently I have noticed she has become extremly nasty with her mouth to her younger siblings... and very tactile in a agresive way... I have always maintained the rule in our house that if you have nothing nice to say then don't say anything... and the major rule is under no circumstances no-one is allowed to lay their hands on each other. couple of months ago while I was out and my sister was watching the kids my ds was caught smoking in the bathroom by her younger sister.. after further investigation found out she was having a smoke with her friends at school.. so I got the school to put her on monitor rota, & spoke to the other kids parents, and even got on the net to show her images of the harm smoking causes....
since then she has been awful to her younger sister's, calling them names as she walks past her, pinching them and at one point I caught her swinging one of her sister round by her arms so hard and then letting her go to the point that she could have discalated her shoulder ( I might add the ds I am talking about is only 5 yrs old and has autism)if I had not been there to intervene I shudder to think what may have happened.
I have tried sitting down and talking with her.. even asked if she was behaving like this cos she was unhappy about something, her answer was that she hate's her sister's..I asked why, and her answer was cos they bug her. so I said ok let's wipe the slate clean and lets try again, Evan spoke to the other kids and told them from now on lets all try being a family, rather then a war zone. withing a day she was back to square one. I have tried to make more time with her in the hope she was being like this cos she wanted more attension.. but she is never satisfied and I am only human and just am not able to give her my undivided attension all the time.. and nothing seems to work cos within a day or too she reverted back to terrorising her siblings.. I have had enough of it.... I have grounded her, taken away all privilages and after a few days she comes to me and apologies to me and her sister's , crying that she is so sorry and then goes straight back into it all again. It is not right for the other kids to be her punching bags when she see's fit.. and I try to make sure that I give all the kids quality one on one time but unfortunatly I am spead thin cos I have 2 other ds with seveer learning difficulties and I am the career of my terminaly ill brother.. I have recently been put on anti depresents and sometimes feel like walking out of the door and never coming back.
and worse of all and I feel terribly guilty about that sometimes when catch the 13yr old being so viciouse I sometimes get this feeting feeling of dislike for her.
don't get me wrong I love her to peices but dislike the person she has become.
I know you don't have to tell me that is awful saying that about your own child, no-one has to tell me that.. but I sometimes I can't stop that feeling entering into my thoughts.
so does anyone else have the same probs with thier 13yr olds.... and if so how do you counter act it.. desperate for some advice here.

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jammi · 18/03/2008 22:32

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LittleWonder · 18/03/2008 22:35

just bumping this message for you in the hope that one of the many wise owls on mnet will see your message. I wish you well.

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