I REALLY need to vent my spleen, feeling incredibly sensitive at the mo and I need a good shake! Bit long.

[rantinghousewife]

Not having a great time at the mo, lost a family member this week, ds's dad thought this would be a great time to make a reappearance and piss me off. So I'm not on top form anyway.
He doesn't have a lot of contact with ds (his choice) but he saw him this weekend and has told him he's moving to South Africa (I knew he was considering it, he told BIL). Ds came home from school yesterday and mentioned it just as I was about to go out of the door with dd. I asked how he felt about that and he said he wasn't happy, did I know, I told him that yes, I knew but didn't tell him because a) I'd only heard it from someone else and b) I really felt it was down to his dad to tell him.
Then he said 'Well so and so at school said I can choose who I want to live with', at which point I think my jaw must have hit the floor (he really caught me off guard) then, 'But I've decided I'll stay here with you'. I mumbled something about 'Erm thanks' and then I had to go out.
I'm reeling, I know he's a teen and they say thoughtless things and I shouldn't take it personally. But, fucking hell, ex lives less than a mile away, he manages to make the effort to see ds twice a year. He doesn't contribute financially and when I saw him in town Friday I had to prompt him to ask how his own son was! I'm furious with him (ex, not ds), I'm thinking that a ritual disembowellment with a grapefruit spoon might be a good way to assuage my feelings and I feel REALLY upset about ds's comment.
I'm not usually this wet, think I need someone to shake some sense into me, after all, ex will go. I will not have to make excuses for him to ds any longer and life will probably be easier for ds in the long run, no more being messed about, no more wondering why his dad doesn't bother etc.
Tell me to chin up!

[ChicaLovesHerLocalGreengrocer]

Spose good news is that ds said he'd decided to stay with you? I know it's not really the point, and there was never any question of otherwise, but still...
But, as you say, you're well rid of ex.

[rantinghousewife]

I did say to him 'Well has dad asked you to live with him?' He said no and I do believe him, I know there is no way he'd ask him. He barely bothers now.

[mumblechum]

Sounds like he's feeling pretty hurt and abandoned by his dad anyway, and this physical abandonment is the final nail in the coffin for your ds.

Poor lad. I know you're not angry with him, but bless him, sounds like he needs a big hug.

[rantinghousewife]

No, I don't blame ds, am not angry with him, am furious with the ex. Every time I think about it I just want to hack off his proverbials.
Think am going to have a chat with ds tonight, help him let it all out.

[bravesmile]

Perhaps part of ds (ie the part that wasn't thinking) quite fancied going to south africa? I wouldn't read too much into it, as you say he's a teenager & therefore centre of the world. Keep ranting though if it helps. Have you thought of hacking off ex's proverbials with the grapefruit spoon?

[Julienoshoes]

He's a teenage boy and he managed to have enough of a conversation with you to say that he will stay with you?

I think you should pat yourself on the back!
In teenage boy grunting language that probably means he knows you are there for him and appreciates this!

[rantinghousewife]

Well when, you put like that Julienoshoes, I suppose you're right, teen lingo and all that which has left me feeling a bit better. And realising perhaps that I ought to be focusing on his hurt (ds), rather than mine.
Although I may still consider BSs grapefruit, proverbials scenario should I encounter THE EX, anytime this week.
Thank you all, for letting me bend your ears.