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Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Teenagers

Ds 14 has informed me he doesn't want to go on holiday with us [sad]

14 replies

fizzbuzz · 02/02/2008 20:19

He is only just 14. Feel very very . He wants to stay at his Grandma's as he thinks he will be bored, and he doesn't want to take a friend with him.

He is very very easy going and laid back. I started crying after he told me. Surely they don't start this stuff this early

I think back to when I was a horrific 13 year old, and "ran away" the night before family holiday as I so didn't want to go He hasn't been awful like that, but feel so so sad.

My lovely little boy has gone.....

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brimfull · 02/02/2008 20:22

aww it is sad

wher are yougoing? will it be dull for a teen boy?
can he not be persuaded to take a friend?

dd has taken a friend for the last 3 yrs,she's 16.

This yr has decided to come alone with us as last yrs friend was a bit of a nightmare.

She just wants a tan though.

It is sad I agree when they're not bothered about spending time with you .

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soph28 · 02/02/2008 20:24

at least he wants to stay at his grandma's. When I was 14 I told my parents I didn't want to go on holidfay with them cos I had to study. They let me stay home alone and I had a massive party!

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NotQuiteCockney · 02/02/2008 20:26

It's sad, but it's good that he can tell you, isn't it?

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Pimmpom · 02/02/2008 20:26

Oh, can imagine how you feel. DD (15) atm still wants to come but I know how I would feel if she didn't. I love holidays, as she is always doing her own thing at home, so is nice to spend time together as a family on holiday.

She now has a boyfriend, so hope she won't be lovesick when we are away for 2 weeks.

I may not have too much longer....

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fizzbuzz · 02/02/2008 20:35

Have decided he is coming anyway Am still gutted, but he was only 14 at end Dec, and think he is too young to start backing out yet. Maybe next year.......The trouble is I really remember how bored I used to be on family holidays. At least he was nice about it, whereas I was just awful...sulking for the whole holiday.

I like spending time with him...he obviously doesn't feel the samt

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LolaTheShowgirl · 02/02/2008 20:49

Aww, where are you off to fizzbuzz? Is he angry that you are making him go? I'm sure once he is there he will have a fab time

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fizzbuzz · 02/02/2008 20:51

Well nowhere very teenagery. We had expensive holiday last year, so just a week somewhere in this country, probably very boring for a teenage boy who is in love with his xbox.

Nope not at all angry, as I said he is very laid back, and has said OK he'll come

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rantinghousewife · 02/02/2008 20:57

Aw, feel for you FB, it's a bit gut wrenching now they're starting to find their own way.
Ds hasn't, yet said that he doesn't want to to come on hols but he does go to my mums sometimes just to have a break from us!

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mumblechum · 05/02/2008 10:43

Last year I was v. conscious that ds was bored with us (cottage in Devon) so this year we're compromising.

The first week, he'll spend the Fri night with us in the cottage then on the Sat am we'll drive him up to the nearest PGL centre for a week's residential motorsports/abseiling/surfing/whatever course while dh and I blob out boringly. At the end of the week we'll pick him up, go to a different cottage and for that second week we'll do stuff for him, eg tank driving, poss. gliding, cinema etc.

Hopefully this way we can all enjoy our holidays.

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barbarianoftheuniverse · 05/02/2008 11:03

It ia normal I think. We have booked near a big outdoor adventure centre so that ds(15) and dd(11) can spend days with people their own age climbing, coasteering, kayaking etc. Also we take ps2, laptops, guitars, all the stress release stuff from home. Also they will have had some time on their own at Guide camp, residential drama course before we go. I suppose it is a compromise but it works with us. Don't forget most of his friends will be hauled off at some point with their families too.
He hasn't gone, he's growing up, they're meant to do it. (It is tough though!)

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barbarianoftheuniverse · 05/02/2008 11:04

Take the Xbox!

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ConnorTraceptive · 05/02/2008 11:10

I'd let him stay at his gran's tbh

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LilianGish · 05/02/2008 11:10

Making me feel very sad reading your post. Am going to show it to DH - he's always bemoaning the fact we never have a holiday without the kids (ours are six and four) - it's good to remind him they won't want to come with us forever so he should make the most of it while we can.

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fizzbuzz · 05/02/2008 20:21

LillianGish, treasure it. 6 is a fantastic age for a holiday, I had my best ever holiday with ds when he was that age. I used to want hols without him as well though, but knowing what I know now, I would have taken every opportunity to take him on lots of holidays when he was young.

The main problem is we have a very young dd (18 months), so finding stuff to keep them both entertained is almost impossible.

We will take xbox, laptop etc, but he has always had a great relationship with dss who is 18. He came on every holiday with us, but wants to go with his mates this year. Hence ds facing prospect of boredom.

I feel if he goes and stays with his Grandma, I will sort of lose touch with him. Holidays have always been a bit of a re-bonding time, and just hanging out together, but he doesn't seem to want that any more