Young teens - do you give them money for their friend's gifts and if so, how much?

[twelveyeargap]

Just gave DD (12) money for her friend's birthday present and told her to come back with a good deal of change from the £20 note and that we had wrapping paper at home.

She's come back with £1 change!

I think she's completely mad to spend £19 on her friends' gifts. I wouldn't spend much more than that on a small gift for my own friends.

I think she's too young to be expected to pay for gifts, but there's no way I'm spending £19 on a friend I rarely even hear her talk about. (You know, the ones who suddenly become friend's when there's a birthday coming up.)

She's said she'll pay me back £7 by doing jobs around the house. (Badly, if previous form indicates future performance in bathroom cleaning.)

What's the consensus here?

[twelveyeargap]

[Pimmpom]

DD is 15 and I give £10 per present and she puts more if it is a close friend.

tis so expensive.........Do think £19 is over the top for 12yr old.

[twelveyeargap]

I mean, for £10 she could get a nice top in New Look or something, couldn't she? Not hard to get a decent pressie for that.

Thanks. Just checking I wasn't completely out of touch.

[Eve34]

Would suggest she take it back and get something cheaper - or else if she has pocket money she pays you back as she isn't up to doing jobs properly. My mother never gave me extra money for presents I had to save if I want something special. But then I am just mean!

[twelveyeargap]

I think I'm too soft with money, because we never used to have any and now we're ok.

Trying to slowly claw back some control and give her some concept of how hard money is to come by. Hmm.

[mumeeee]

No.They have a monthly allowence sand have to buy their friends presents out of that.

[larry5]

What we do for dd friends presents is buy things that are suitable when we see them e.g. Claire's is doing 5 for £5 pounds at the moment on some very attractive necklaces and we keep them in a drawer so when a birthday comes up we have look. If it is one of her special friends we would prpbably buy something specially but do not normally spend more than a fiver.

[mumeeee]

Sorry I meant to say they started paying for gifts for their friends around 14. As this is when thwey got a monthly allowence. Before that they only had a small amount of pocket money so I did give them money for their friends gifts. But never more than £5 andI woulsd ask them to contribute something even if it was only 50p.