Finding time for everything - too many activities/too much homework?

[snorkle]

DS is 13, quite able and diligent. Lately he's been struggling to fit everything in. Music practise has been what has given, but he doesn't want to give up either of his instruments (cello & piano). He also swims competitively and has just lately started to take this much more seriously, attending just about all the training sessions he can(6 per week + land training once a week). He's in year 9 and has a lot of subjects & homework, which he likes to do 'properly', often taking him quite late into the evening so he doesn't always get bed at a reasonable time. He also does distract himself with other things & not get on with his work sometimes: it might be computer programming or PS2 games etc. On the whole though I'd say his time management is fairly good and I'd be a bit loath to stop him having any down time to do other stuff in at all.

I'm not quite sure what to do. Should he:

A) give up one of his extra-curriculars. He desn't want to, and my gut feeling is that he shouldn't, but I am aware he does rather a lot.

or B) Struggle along and hope he has less work next year. Is this realistic? - although he'll drop several subjects (hopefully: Art, Drama, ICT, Spanish and History) , he'll be starting GCSE courses, so will he have more or less work?

I'd be interested in your views - and thoughts on year 9 vs year 10 workloads as well as any time management tips. Anyone else in a similar position with any advice (Beetroot?).

[missingtheaction]

workload will grow, not shrink. I wish my ds was as involved and motivated! It does sound as if he's got too much on his plate at the moment - 2 instruments on top of serious swimming is a LOT to take on.

He won't be able to reduce his school workload and he ought to be getting plenty of navel-gazing (and don't you wish it was just gazing) time at this age, as he will be growing fast and his body needs the slack.

Which musical instrument practice is less likely to send you into a psychotic rage???

[snorkle]

errm, I don't get into a rage with either of them to be honest. I think he prefers piano, but gets more out of cello with orchestras & ensembles. He'll have to keep at least one up to do GCES music (which he badly wants to), but nearly all his school friends are musicians and I really doubt he'll entertain giving one up. He'll want to get his grade 8's first & I might well not want to stop even then.

I think the swimming is the issue - last year he wasn't half so motivated and 'only' did about 3 sessions a week which was much more manageable. This year he seems to like building his muscles and seeing his friends down at the pool.

[hopefully]

Don't know if this helps, but I did loads as a teenager. Maybe not as much as your ds, but I played hockey for my school team so was training a couple of times a week, had a horse (which I loked after twice a day by myself), played a musical instrument (badly) and saw friends who weren't involved in any of these activities. My mum told me much later that she was really worried about how much I was doing and had considered making me drop something, but it never even occured to me - I was perfectly happy! I also got very good SATs, all A and A* at GCSE and good A-levels, so it obviously didn't affect my school work. Man, I sound like a brat! I wasn't too bad though (my mother might argue differently).
Is he happy with the amount he's taking on?

[snorkle]

Hopefully, he seems very happy. It goes in phases a bit. Sometimes he moans about something, but a few months later it's something else. When he gets over-tired he gets a bit grumpy, but it's quite rare that he's too tired to want to get up for morning training (& that's down to him to get up for - the rest of us would happily stay in bed). He's definitely well on top of his school work; maybe I'm worrying about nothing, but I don't want him to burn out.

Missing the action thanks for the heads up on yr 10 workload - I rather thought I might be grasping at straws there.

[JackBlackRoady]

hi snorkle - my DS is 13 next month and does athletics training and scouts, so not as much as yours but still, in year 8, he has to miss coaching once a week sometimes just to get his work done. it comes from him, he says sometimes 'i can't go to athletics training tonight, i've got a lot of homework' and i think his time management is not bad either! i teach year 10 and 11 and actually i think your DS and mine are getting important skills juggling all this now!

also, i am sure that boys can't actually build muscle mass until they have plenty of testosterone after puberty... someone may come along in a minute and tell me i am wrong, but he will get a lot fitter and stronger, but bigger muscles won't come till later! not sure whether that is relevant but i thought i would add it to the mixing pot!

jbr xxx

[JackBlackRoady]

ps - forgot to add, you must be really proud of him!

[snorkle]

Thanks jbr, I'm proud of both my kids as most parents are I'm sure (and it's not really achievement related).

You are right about learning to juggle well being useful. I also think it's nice for kids to have interests; if they don't have time now when will they? I think last year he was more like your ds in that if he had a lot of homework he'd miss training. Now he seems to think he'll do both but stay up late. I guess the root of the problem is that he's putting swimming higher up his priority list than I am and getting stroppy over bedtimes. I think this thread has helped me clarify that in my own mind at least.

For what it's worth, his muscles do seem to be starting to develop quite well recently (and to the envy of dh), but he's well into puberty, deep growly voice and hair etc. so what you said is most likely right too.

[flyingmum]

I teach years 7 to 11. Work load gets worse further up you go although the frequency changes. Seems to me that coursework is a bit like buses - there is nothing for ages then three come all at once. We have a chap who is aiming for the Olympics in 2012. He does a massive amount of swimming a week and although is intelligent is in second sets for stuff because he keeps falling asleep in lessons! It's obviously a big thing for him so he's taken the decision to get his C and some B and possibly D grades rather than A grades.

One of my year 9 girls does 20 hours a week dance and drama and did say she does find it hard to fit it all in. I do admire kids that do this - I'm a pumpkin by 9.00 pm.

He sounds a very sensible chap and no doubt he will find his own ground. I would keep the status quo until his school work is obviously compromised and it might well not be. Sometimes its all these other things that distinguished one candidate from another (ex gradutate recruitment officer speaking here).
He sounds delightful. Can I teach him please?