When does the cheek and rudeness stop!

[jojo38]

I am getting constantly enraged by my eldest ds (14). He just won't speak to me sensibly. I ask a question and he answers with either such an "attitude" or some other flippant remark. Argh! I feel like swiping him one at times. How on earth could MY beautiful baby boy turn out to be such a sh*t at times???!!!!

I am fed up with nagging and having a go all the time. I am sure this is funny to him and I would dearly love to have some sort of normal relationship with my child. I do love him to bits. I don't know where I would be with out him but I just get so frustrated with him.

Does anyone know when all this rudeness and cheek stop!?! Trouble is, I have another ds coming up to 11 and learning fast from the other ds... I think I shall just hibernate for another 5 yrs...

[JoolsToo]

that should just about do it

[Gobbledigook]

Hey Jools - I was never like that!! Only the boys!! Eek, I've got 3!!!

[dogwalker]

Oh dear Jojo you poor thing. My eldest ds is 11 now and getting a real attitude since he has started secondary school. Sometimes I could swipe him too, actually I did slightly slap his leg the other day and he said "do you know that's now illegal"! At other times though he can still be the lovely loving gorgeous little baby that I brought into the world.!

[JoolsToo]

Nah - actually I don't remember them being that bad really - well there was always 'dad' lurking in the background and they just wouldn't dare!

GDG - seem to remember you had your moments too

[Gobbledigook]

I was perfick!

Boys are the worst - grunting animals as I recall.

jojo38, just think, in 10-15 yrs time you'll have it all over with and have nice boys back and I'll be on here crying 'HEEEELP'!

[JanH]

jojo, I assume he's OK sometimes?

I have a 16-yr-old and an 11-yr-old currently (both boys) and they both have their moments but in between can be v nice. It's hormones mostly...it will get better...meanwhile grit your teeth and count to 10, because they only do it to piss you off, and you won't win a row, you'll just get madder and feel stupider afterwards.

[JanH]

PS They are supposed to act like this. It's part of growing up/separating. (It's bad news if they don't, in fact.) They will come round again afterwards.

[JoolsToo]

yes but listen in 10 years time you could have DIL and they'll been on MN saying what a knave you are - think on!

[jojo38]

LOL you have all made me smile - Thanks.

Yes, he is OK sometimes....when he knows he's in trouble!! Nah, he can be gruntingly communicative sometimes... he is even nice to his brother when he wants to use his xbox.

I have learned "GRUNT" language - it isn't all that hard to learn.. one grunt means no, two means yes, three means pss ** mum. 4 means can I have a lift, and 5 means I need some money for my phone.

just getting to me I think. I have a hard time knowing how to deal with this alien sometimes.

{{{hugs}}} all round... any more advice is most certainly welcome.

[JoolsToo]

the funniest thing is to listen to them on the phone to their mates.

HOW they understand each other is beyond me - its not any language I know

[mumwithnoname]

Count yourself lucky you've not got an hormonal dd!!!Actually my 6yr old ds2 is like that too-oh dear it's gonna be a long 15 years!!!

[OldieMum]

My step children grew out of this by about 16, but 14 was the low point. It does get better...

[jojo38]

phew.... I know I wasn't an angel but at least I was never allowed to be rude to my parents... even now, I would get a short sharp shock if I was!

What has happened to this country!!! I don,t believe in hitting or smacking, so dont'get me wrong.. I don't think it is because we have a law now that some children are just impossible. There are far too many abused and abandoned children still. So, is it the sign of the times I wonder? Is is right that our youth can just "do as they please" without consequence?

I see that some local papers are naming and shaming some youngsters for their criminal activities. I do believe that this is right. I feel for the families and parents but I am sure that these families either don't care or have just had enough of being out of control that they would welcome anything to stop their children being monsters.

I have often thought of getting the baby pics out and spreading them over the house. The threat would be that they will be copied and pasted all over town! That might stop the nonsense!!! LOL...

I can't wait til he is older... some say that we should never force our kids to grow up. In this case... I welcome it!

Thanks for your suppport ladies... {{{Hugs}}}

[joash]

Don't know if it's any consolation, but, DD1 was vile as a teenage. I hated her and the feeling was mutual. She's 24 now and we've a fantastic relationship - even talk about the bad old days when I wanted to abort her 14 years too late.

DD2 was perfect until taking up with the dickhead at 17.

And DS is fab - really nice, makes his mum cups of tea, insists I put my feet up and babysits grandson for 1/2 hour+ (whilst I'm in another room) just so I can get a break.

Moral is - they are all different. Lets hope this is your worse one, eh?

[Tortington]

my lad 15 is very trying at times - he came home drunk - he was grounded for four weeks - he went out for one night did it again - he is grounded again for four weeks and this continues - at least i know where he is most of the time. he said to me yesterday how he want going to be stupid next time as he is dying to get out. great - we'll see!

he wouldnt give nasty constant cheek as my husband sees to that - he does push his luch with the fly comments and i dont mind sometimes if they are half witty

[fostermum]

my husband still suffers from it!

[Davzmum]

I wanna know when the cheek stops too, I wouldnt have dared speak to my parents the way kids do knowadays

[Miranda5]

I am a very strict parent and my children are described by others as angelic.......however they still have their moments. DS 12 has gone a bit sulky and sullen but still sweet but dd ONLY 10 and the attitude. I swear I wonder how she dares...when she tuts and raises her eyes to heaven muttering things like ' yeah...and?' My blood boils!

[stitch]

my 3.10 year old mutters.....

[jojo38]

Thanks all
I am sure it will get easier. I do love him to bits. I think I have had a bit of a hiccup in remembering what it's like to be a teenager. I have started making myself known in his life - it has been easier to "just let him get on with things" but I reckon he needs someone (me) there in the background, no matter how he says he feels about it.
Things have got better. Since my first message, he really needed me... unfortuately he is a gentle giant and was the target of a nasty assault - just because he is the biggest - he ended up at the hospital having stitches in his face. We are all supporting him as he has to go through the court process of getting this git put away. (Not his first attack on someone - the other was an old lady!) My ds is being so brave. I have seen another side of him which has really helped me understand a little better.
He has seen another side of me, which I hope will help him trust me and show me a little more other than rudeness and cheek.

Thanks for being there you lot. HUGS!!

[MarsLady]

I'm sorry to hear about the assault, but glad that you and your son are re-connecting.

[fostermum]

about 30ish

[tinkabell]

JOJO...This works for me..All teenagers hate I mean hate! being shown up.
I threatened it..You know the line "If you talk to me like that again I will show you up"
My son wasnt sure if I would so he crossed the line So infront of his mate I said " Stop showing off!!He was not well pleased but he never forgot it...And really it is part of growing up & testing boundries..Keep boundries strong the children must not repeat not take over!!!!!!!