do you have any thoughts on teens dating different age groups?

[dramaqueen72]

Because, Ds (days away from being 16) is seeing a 13yr old. he's not seen her a lot, and we had no idea she was 13. does it matter? cant quite decide if we should say he cant see her, or let it run its course...
help!

[ChasingSquirrels]

hmm, I was seeing a 16yo at 14.
my friend was seeing a 19yo at 12 - which I think is more worrying, but she was with him for years (at least until I lost touch so past 20, don't know about now).
Is she just 13 or nearly 14 (ie 3 or 4 yr gap?).
I don't think you can say he can't see her, but you can talk to him about the age gap.

[dramaqueen72]

he rolls his eyes at our talk about age gaps. He says her parents know and dont care. I'm not saying he is having sex, just that freaking hell! its illegal and I'll get somebodys parents banging on the door.
or is underage sex just so normal and usual now I'm making a fuss here???

[ChasingSquirrels]

dunno about nowadays - my oldest is only 5yo, but I had sex with the 16yo (at 14) and that was many moons ago.
not even going to try and advise on teens, have NO experience (other than as one) to base on.

[wannaBe]

I don't have teenagers yet but I would say that firstly, you can't ban him from seeing her. banning it will just make them go behind your back and it's better you know where they are/what they're doing (within reason.

Secondly, as your ds is the 16 year old, I would suggest that you have a very frank chat with him about what is, and what is not, acceptable behavior in the eyes of the law. If he has sex with this girl it will be his life on the line. She is underage, if they have sex and the parents take issue his name would end up on the sex offenders register and that will go against him in a big way for the rest of his life.

That's not to say that they're going to have sex obviously. When I was 13 I went out with a 16 year old and we didn't have sex. When I was 14 I started going out with a 20 year old, and we didn't have sex, and I went out with him for about 18 months. In fact I didn't lose my virginity until I was 21 to my now dh. But when I was going out with the 20 yo his mother never seemed altogether comfortable with me being there, at the time I thought she just didn't like me, it was only when i got older that I understood why.

[dramaqueen72]

I am struggling with this one. any other thoughts?