At what age do you allow them to...

[Beetootoyourself]

Go to a party - with booze

get home alone after 9

drink booze

stay out all night without checking up on them

have a bring a bottle party for them

[Lilymaid]

16 for some of these situations - getting home alone, drinking booze - wine or beer not spirits. Drink always seems to turn up at teenage parties but it is better to provide small amounts as host rather than permit the little darlings to bring in the dreaded vodka. I always like to check up where older teenagers are - until they go to university and then parents have to let go.

[Saggarmakersbottomknocker]

My eldest is 19 and does all - the last one probably whilst we were on holiday last year.

Ds2 is 16 and has done the first 3. Stayed out at a friend's whose parents have similar rules to mine wrt curfew times. No party.

dd is 14 and hasn't done any.

[NomDePlume]

Party with booze - 15 if mature, 16 if not

get home alone after 9 - depends how they are getting home and where they have been, but if local and they haven't been drinking then I'd say 14 (my v sensible DS2 does this regularly without the drinking bit!)

drink booze -
at home with their meal if they want to (tiny measure), 10+
at home with their meal (adult measure of wine or small beer) - 13+
parties etc - ideally 16
pubs/nightclubs - 17+

Stay out all night without checking up - 17+

Bring a bottle party - 16

Obviously all of those depend on the maturity of the young person in question !

[smeeinit]

1. • 16
     
     
2. • 14/15
     
     
3. • 14/15
     
     
4. never!!!
   
   
5. • 15 (did this for ds1s 15th bday)
     
     obv depends on the child, ds1 had a party with alcohol at 15 but i wouldnt/havent done that for ds2 as he is alot more immature than ds1 was at that age.

[rantinghousewife]

Hmm, ds 14, stays out on Fridays until 10 but that's to go to youth club, he walks back. Not thought about the booze bit yet and am pretty sure that he hasn't done that yet. But I do allow him small amounts of drink if we have a family occassion, just because I think, (as someone who spent most of their late teens comatose with the drink) that he ought to learn to drink responsibly.

[noddyholder]

First 2 15/16
Drink booze 16/17 unrealistic but |I can hope
Never
16/17
God ds is 13 I am dreading some of this will have to start drinking heavily myself to cope

[FoghornLeghorn]

I don't have teenagers yet, thank god ! So will go by what my parents allowed me to do :

Go to a party - with booze - 15

get home alone after 9 - 13 (although this was never alone, it was with a group of friends)

drink booze - 13 at home on occassions, 16 in pubs/clubs

stay out all night without checking up on them - 16 (alhtough my mum worried sick, she still does)

have a bring a bottle party for them - 15

I was quite mature for my age, but I also lied through my teeth to parents in certain instances

[snorkle]

my dcs (13 and 12) don't do much of this yet. At home I offer them small quantities of wine/beer occasionally. I was slightly shocked that at ds's (13) CCF formal dinner they were all given red wine, white wine and port (one end of the table the youngsters were restricted to 1 glass of each, but the other end was more liberal).

Some of the stuff like coming home alone depends to a large degree on where you live & what transport is like.

[Beetootoyourself]

my oldest is almost 14 and it seems by year 10 there is regular drinking..and I am not ahving it

[dooley1]

I was mortified in sixth form (age 17) when my mu wouldn't let me go to a nightclub with 2 friends. She asked how the 2 friends were getting in without being 18, I didn't even know we were meant to be 18! This was the days before iD though

[noddyholder]

ds has a drop of ine with dinner and at xmas etc but I expect this will be the year when the sneaking around starts and I am ready!

[SantaBeClausImWorthIt]

DS1 - 15, 16 in Feb - has never been that interested in booze. We have occasionally offered him a glass of wine. He likes pink champagne (what a well brought up boy!).

This NYE, at our party, he asked if he could have a drink. He had 2 friends here with him, one of whom is 16 nearly 17. I agreed, but was then very to discover that they started sneaking it for the rest of the evening, the upshot being that suddenly I realised that ds1 was very pissed. I had to take him into the bathroom and get him to drink a lot of water quickly, to 'encourage' him to throw up.

It took me by surprise as he's been really sensible up to now. Still, hopefully he has learnt a lesson about booze. I'm not entirely sure that he appreciates the benefit of being sick though - maybe I should have let him enjoy the hangover the next day if he had ingested all that alcohol.

[Beetrootoyourself]

a mate round the corner had a party for her year 10 girl and year 12 boy - they bought a barrel of beer.

kids puking up

I know of one 13 year old that went

They all bought booze

how can you say no to your child with parties like this going on

Well obviously I can and will but I will be the horrid mum

[Beetrootoyourself]

a mate round the corner had a party for her year 10 girl and year 12 boy - they bought a barrel of beer.

kids puking up

I know of one 13 year old that went

They all bought booze

how can you say no to your child with parties like this going on

Well obviously I can and will but I will be the horrid mum

[SantaBeClausImWorthIt]

That is way too young.

I'm not going to allow parties in this house if we are not here. Ever.

[rantinghousewife]

This is mean because I am laughing at this and remembering how I was as a teen
In that spirit I am fully expecting that whatever I say/do, there will come a day when ds comes homes blind drunk and pukes all over the toilet. Forewarned is forearmed.
He will be cleaning it up though!!!!!

[SantaBeClausImWorthIt]

It is knowing that it is inevitable that is really hard!

And also because I know what I was like . DS is an angel by comparison ...

[snorkle]

It is a problem. There is often booze at some (not all) parties from around yr9 in our experience and it's at parties when it's most likely to get out of hand. Some parents seem to think it's quite acceptable to leave kids mostly unsupervised too. You need to ask questions before they go & be prepared to be mean. Eventually they need to learn how to drink sensibly themselves, but at that age letting them loose in a party environment with unrestricted alcohol isn't the way forward.

[rantinghousewife]

Yes, I agree, it is a problem but I think you have to teach them the best you can and hope that they learn that way. Tbh I'm far more worried that ds goes to school with a year 9 boy who takes coke but, then drink is a worry too, especially if they are so drunk that they are basically unconscious.

[lilibet]

I don't think that you can put ages on things as all children are different. My dd was much more sensible than ds1 is but I allow ds1 to stay out later than I did with her when she was his age and I think that's because of the difference in male/female.

I encourage my children to drink sensibly from quite a young age. If they want to when we are on holiday then can have a drop of wine in their water and we would let ds1 (14) have a shandy.

I would not encourage them to get legless, and would not be happy if they did at such an early age but accept that it will happen sooner or later

I'm sure they all drink more than that behind our backs but aren't that what parent's back are for - to do things behind??

Dd is 19 and I wouldn't be happy if she was out all night and I didn't know where - that's common courtesy to let us know. We went out recently and said we would be back around midnihgt but ended up having drinks at a mates until 2,she rang me up and was furious !!

[snorkle]

All children are different but if you have more than one it's very different to apply different rules to the younger ones than you did to the eldest. Often the eldest is the most sensible, but if you give them more lassitude, then you risk your younger less responsible ones getting into more trouble.

[Beetrootoyourself]

ds shows no signs of wantign to do any of this - but when he leaves the choir - things seems to change

[Beetrootoyourself]

ds shows no signs of wantign to do any of this - but when he leaves the choir - things seems to change

[Beetrootoyourself]

ds shows no signs of wantign to do any of this - but when he leaves the choir - things seems to change