posted in sn but no luck so trying here

[jinglebells2shoessmells]

everyday she tells the nurse at school that she feels ill. she uses her book to tell them she is worried about what is wrong. says her tummy hurts and she feels sick. we have had "the chat" she is eating fine(loads) and no temp.
I am getting so pissed of with this.
she is happy at school, very popurar with staff and pupils.

did post in sn but no luck so hoping mums who have teen girls might be able to help(she will be 13 in april)

[MrsGrinch]

Does she have her periods yet 2shoes?

[cheeset]

Constipated?

[CarGirl]

how long has this been going on?

Could it be overexcitement for Christmas?

Could it be a virus?

[jinglebells2shoessmells]

cheeset no she is not constipated. she hasn't started yet so once a month we get tummy aches. usually same time as me iynwim and not that.
this happens all the time so don't think it is just th excitemant.

the nurse has asked me to speak to her. i kind of think it is a mixture of skiving(she had this down to a fine art last year) attention seeking as the class is larger..7 instead of 4. and worry. but just don't know what to say to her.

[CarGirl]

Is there no-one at the school who can advise on behaviour management that you can discuss this with (attetion seeking behaviour) and get their opinion on how to deal with it?

[jinglebells2shoessmells]

trouble is at her school if they "say " they are ill they have to see the nurse. the nurse who saw her today had words with her(the nurse is lovely) and her TA is brill at being "hard"
I have been trying to tell her that all woman go through this (the tummy aches) and everyone feels unwell at sometime but it doesn't mean you are ill. but not sure if she is getting it.

[littlerach]

My sd is 14, and I can remember her seeing the school nurse quite a lot when she was in yr 8 and 9. But she has always been a bit like that!!
I thnk for her it was a bit of attention seeking, and also because she knew that she owuld get out of her lesson, and possibly the whole day.
She did stop doing it, now she actually buns off, but that's a whole other story

[jinglebells2shoessmells]

so you would say it was "normal" dd might have sm but there are no flies on her and I do wonder id she is skiving.

[CarGirl]

can the school agree that the next time they say if she still feels ill in 1 hour or something then she will go to the nurse?

[jinglebells2shoessmells]

(light bulb flashes) thanks for your advice. i think i will suggest a meeting with me, TA and nice nurse and dd so that we can set sown some ground rules. so she knows she will get help but will sometimes be told to see how she feels later.
Thanks for helping me see outside the sn box iynwim.

[fizzbuzz]

This is quite common. In our school, it is usually picked up on very fast. Child is usually returned to class rapidly.

In fact when it becomes a big problem staff are told not to let them out at all, and if they insist on going, to send for student support officer, who will accompny them. They often back down at this point.

However, usually heads of year/learning mentors etc are involved as well. I suspect the school will be aware of what is happening

[jinglebells2shoessmells]

thanks interesting to see the way ms deal with it. I think this is part of the problem. as it is a sn school they are treating the sn not the "normal" kid she is inside iynwim. so i will take these tips with me when I have the meeting.

[sabaidii]

My kid no go school she want love I know. I no see sn i see kid.

[psychomum5]

no advice re the f act that she is SN, but if you want a NT child viewpoint I can add mine in.

I have a 13yr DD and a nearly 12yo DD.

while in yr 6 & 7 they both really suffered from monthly tummy pains, to the point of tears should they still get sent to school. interestingly in was also at the same time as my periods......and I suffer from evil pain.

to start with I did wonder if it was attention/school avoidence/social school side issues etc, but after a chat with my HV (I had a fab one then), it seems that it is common with many girls of this age.

their bodies are readying them for puberty and periods etc, and their wombs are developing (as are their overies), for the monthly hormonal onslaught.......and it does cause pain. it doesn't neccesserily mean tho that they will have pain when they do get their periods tho.....just that their bodies/tummies hurt now.

in fact, for my girlies, it all settled down within 10/12mths and now both are not bothered.......may mantion the odd ache, but not the tearful pains they got before (and as yet, neither still have yet started their periods!).

I just gave them sympathy and the odd day off with plenty of painkiller (ie....calpol), and when they saw that I would take it all seriously they seemed happy to carry on when hurty.

I know your DD is SN, so it may be different in the way you want to deal with her......but don't automatically assume it is for attention/skiving.......she may indeed just be developing and hurty and scared. mine were.
HTH

[2shoes]

sorry just seen these replies.isn't it strange that they seem to have the same cycle as their mum. we are now tring a hot teddie(the ones you mike. and i agree if she wants love she gets mum.
It was more really setting down ground rules(as like all girls her age sn or nt she can play the game) she is doing a lot of skiving her keyworker is great and I am hoping if we work together we should be able to work it out. but it is reasuring to hear about your girls psychomum5. it has been hard with dd as she can't speak.

[psychomum5]

....glad to help.
must be hard for you tho, especially if she can't speak. I assume that she still has good communication tho?

good uck......puberty is hard enough isn't it, without the added pain for no apparent reason?!