16th birthday parties

[HotFlush]

Is it normal for parents to provide alcohol at these occasions?

My dd (not 16 til June) was at a party last night where alcopops and beer were provided. She told me she had only half a bottle of Smirnoff Ice and a few sips of beer, but others were drunk (I did see many stagger off when I picked her up) and "only a few threw up"
I know she is sensible at the moment, and indeed all teenagers get totally p*sst at some point but I do worry. Am I being an old fuddy duddy to think that parents should not be provinding alcohol en masse to these vulnerable children.

[janeite]

No you are not a fuddy duddy. But are you sure the parents were actually there?

I think for a 16th birthday, maybe a glass of wine or a half with food would be okay but no more than that. They will be doing plenty of experimenting themselves by that age, so there's absolutely no need for parents to think they need to be given more chance for drinking. Or were the parents under some desperate illusion that it would make them (as parents) seem "cool"?

[HotFlush]

Dd went to a halloween party at same girl's house in yr 8 - I found out recently that the parents had provided alcohol at that time too (it was a family party for adults aswell) - apparently some of the girls were tipsy, fortunately not mine - I was angry when I found out.
I'm more scared than angry - letting go is so hard when there is so much peer pressure and adverse influence.

[Lilymaid]

Beer and alcopops are often provided by parents at 16 year olds' parties, but the problems generally arise when guests smuggle in bottles of vodka. I would restrict the alcohol to a token amount and frisk the guests!

[sensiblehead]

I suspect most 16yo will already have tried a few alcopops, however, I would not be happy providing alcohol myself.

If it were a party my dc had gone to I would not be happy if the parents were not present, however I would find it difficult to complian about IYSWIM.

I think that this is one of those situations where, as parents, we have to sit back and pray that we ahve done a good enough job to give our dcs the confidence to say no at the right time! Scary though isn't it!

[Milliways]

Yes, it seems alcohol is around at 16th parties. I offerred to provide a limited amount for DD's, as long as ALL parents were aware it would be here and no-one bought any more, but DD said NO, she hates it when her friends get tipsy & stupid.

They had loads of fun without it, but we are very aware it is now at most parties (esp. as in 6th form they go to 18th parties as well).

[mumeeee]

Alcohol is not usual at 16th parties round here, DD3 has 17 has had some alcohol at parties but only since shes ben 17.

[EmilyDavidson]

At most parties dd(16) goes to alcohol is tolerated but not provided ,so kids can bring a little bit with them if its ok with their own parents ,but the hosts don't lay it on.

[Tortington]

i wouldnt provide alchohol for a 16th party
butt hen i wouldnt do a 16th party

if my daughter was going to a 16th party i would be naive int he least to think that there wouldnt be alchohol - they are 16 ....its a party

my 14 year old went to a party - i told her not to get drunk

she didn't

but other 14 year olds did - and the parents were in the house

[sensiblehead]

Custardo, tbh I think that is a much more realistic situation. Whatever we would like to think the fact is taht most of us would ahve had one or two at a party if the opportunity came up. (at 16 def. but probably at 14 or younger if we are honest!)

I still wouldn't want to provide it though.