advice please how do I get ds to do better

[2shoes]

at gcse work. without being pushy.
bit stuck on this one. he is not an academic and can tend to not try. I don't want to put loads of pressure on him or sap his confidence. But I want him to try harder.

[abbymeg]

What year - 10 or 11? I tend to find with non-academic students that panic sets in in year 11. I've have kids as late as february before their exams rewriting all of their coursework. The majority of students, however complacent towards schoolwork normally, find it hard not to get swept up in the pressure around GCSE time. I think it's the realisation that the end is nigh. I also point out frequently that if they intend to go on to college, they will have a holiday that lasts from mid-june until (usually) mid-september when they've finished!

I would also suggest that if you become worried you speak to his teachers. You might find that he does more than he lets on. This also means that any problems can be tackled early by working with school. Ring up and ask to see his head of year or his tutor.

There's often support avaliable to GCSE students - like revision sessions and coursework clubs which is worth asking about.

Hope this is of help. I am sure you aren't alone in this problem.

Finally, when I did my GCSEs, I had an agreed rate with my parents per grade - so much for A*, A, B, C, etc. Bribery, as amicissima says, is very successful with teenagers!

[2shoes]

he has just started yr 11. we have parents evening in November so will hear the joys from his teachers then(might skip humanties as I know he hates that )
will think on the bribary.

[lilolilmanchester]

can't offer any advice but will watch this thread with interest. DS just started yr 10 and think it'll be a long 2 years, so really feel for you 2shoes.

[themoon66]

Keep checking his coursework is up to date. My DS led me to believe all was fine until I got a phone call from school asking where 90% of his course work was. They waited till Easter to ask this question, with the deadline up the next week or something like that. Nightmare.

In hindsight I should have asked school for a timetable of when coursework for each subject should be in.

[juuule]

I think that it's best to find out his timetable. Find out when the deadlines are (the real ones). Ask him now and then where he is up to with various subjects. Take an interest but don't nag. Lots of encouragement.
I'm not sure about the bribery for grades. What if he tries his best and still doesn't get them?
Also, maybe come around to accepting that if he's not academic then pressuring him will just make him miserable.

[2shoes]

dh has said no to bribary
I always ask him about his day and work, but it is pinning him down about course work I find hard.

[LoveMyGirls]

What is he interested in? Can you find out about the things you have to do to do what he wants to do? Talk to him about things he wants out of life.

(feel free to ignore me as my dd1 is only 8) but I have spoken to her for the last year or two about things she wants to achieve when she grows up, she's quite materialistic and wants nice car, nice house etc etc i've explained you can't just get these for doing nothing that you have to work hard in order to play hard and get what you want out of life, as they say you only get out what you put in etc My dd1 wants to be a teacher, her aunt is a teacher and so she has spoken to her about the fact you have to go to college and uni etc and therefore have to work hard at school to be able to get a place in college etc, it helps dd1 wants to be a teacher because it means she has lots of respect for her teacher's and wants to do well without any pressure from me (of course she's too young to be pressured at the minute but yswim) she came home after the first day back and said I'm promising myself to read everyday because you get a prize for the most merits at the end of the year and you get a merit every day if you have read at home. Im rambling on now.

The point is if you find out what he wants you can advise him on how best to get it and give him some motivation so that he doesnt try harder because he wants to please you or because he wants money for each grade but because he wants to do himself proud and achieve his own goals.

[Rowlers]

As a teacher, I would avise you to work as closely with the school as you can.
I have found that children whose parents are interested in and supportive of how their children are doing are more likely to achieve their potential.
I think your DS and you as parents need to be organised and know what needs to be done by when. The school should be able to offer you a "diary" of coursework deadlines and exam dates - maybe not yet as it is still early but it's worth finding out.
Offer help where you can instead of bribery / threat of punishment.
Often teenagers are quite overwhelmed by what they have to do and instead of confronting it, hide behind an "I don't care" attitude and secretly worry and panic.
Encourage him to to work little and often instead of spending hours last minute hastily rushing through something he's been trying to avoid.
Does he have any long term ambition? An awful lot don't and are quite directionless. This in turn means they can fail to see the point, so to speak.
Does the school offer a mentoring programme?
These have been very successful at our school.
Boys tend to be competitive. Does he have a friend who you know will be working hard to succeed? Not sure how to, but perhaps enquiring after such a friend might encourage him to think about what he himself is going to do?
I would not avoid Humanities at parents' evening. I would in fact make it a priority to see what can be salvaged!
Good luck.