Teenage boys sharing a room?

[pollybee]

I'm looking ahead a bit here, but with a large family, there is no option but room-sharing. The 2 oldest boys share at the moment and love it (10 and 8), but what's everyone's experience of say 13 and 15 year olds sharing? We cannot really squeeze any more bedrooms in the house, even if we could afford it. Am I beating myself up uneccessarily? Many of our friends are converting their lofts to give them a 4 th bedroom - but then they stopped at 3 kids!! I shared as a child, but then so did many people it seemed. Is it now very working class not to give kids their own space? I don't want to make them too comfy - I don't want kids around when they are 25! I hate the idea of Tvs and computers in rooms.

[Tanee58]

My friend's two boys share the front bedroom, which is the biggest - she and dp moved into a smaller room. Seems to work ok (they are now 16 & 18) as they each have half the room that they can decorate as they wish. My sister & I did the same - our father partitioned the room with large bookcases so we felt that we ALMOST had our own rooms.

Personally, I think it's ridiculous to consider it 'working class' to share, since we may just not be able to afford to create extra space, whichever class we consider ourselves to be. I think (donning prissy mantle) that giving children too much too young creates unrealistic expectations (does that make me Mother from Hell?) and then they think the world owes them if they can't afford it themselves. This can affect children of any class - (my dd had to wait until she was 14 before finally getting a room of her own, as we were in a one-bed flat and couldn't afford to move until dp and I got together - she and I shared the bedroom until then and I don't think it's done her any lasting harm - though she now loves having her own space - and so do I )!

[Tanee58]

The only problem may come when they want to bring girlfriends home - but you may not want to think THAT far ahead !!

[NannyL]

10 years ago my godfathers children where 16 and 18 and sharing a room

they lived in a MASSIVE house with 9 bedrooms, (27 rooms in total) but the brothers ALWAYS shared their whole entire lives.

They had a big room in the loft

[pollybee]

My tongue was in my cheek with the 'working class'...

Thanks for your thoughts. It's the girlfriend stage I am worrying about I think. That and them not being the 'only ones' in the class to share a room.

Is it better to give them a horsebox type of cubicle by dividing their ordinary-sized bedroom or let them share I wonder? At the moment they are adamant they want to stick with bunk beds so they have lots of floor space for games. Anyway we have no spare cash as the 'breadwinner' is studying fulltime.

[Tanee58]

If they're happy as they are, then let them be for now. You don't have to think that far ahead, really, and make decisions now. When the time comes that they may want space to themselves, you can discuss it with them then and decide whether to divide the room. Or you may even have more money to extend - who knows what the next few years will bring. My friend with the boys has a daughter too, and over the past 12 years they have all changed rooms according to their needs and fancy. The main point is to keep it flexible.

My mum never liked us taking boyfriends to our room (not that anything much ever happened ) so the question of total privacy never arose, even when my sister & I eventually did get rooms of our own...

[scienceteacher]

We converted our loft, and our boys share the room. They are 13 and 15 now. The room is fairly big - 18x16 - with an ensuite.

The arrangement works. They don't seem to fight when they are there together, and have enough space for their own areas. The one downside is that I don't make it up the extra set of stairs often enough to check on them.

We have five kids plus an aupair, so separate rooms is not an option. We would have to quadruple our mortgage to get that. We've opted to privately educate our children instead. I don't think it's a middle-class sacred cow to have their own rooms.

[hewlettsdaughter]

My (twin) brothers shared a room until they went away to university. They are 6/7 years older than me but I was never aware of any problems.

[cornsilk]

My brothers shared withot any major problems. They are really good friends now - might be 'cos of that but don't know.

[pollybee]

That's making me feel better. Just painted their room 'cornsilk' yellow (B+Q) funnily enough!
5 kids in private education - goodness that must be a major financial commitment. Perhaps that's another thread!

[cornsilk]

Polly bee- that's an excellent choice!

[gooseegg]

My two eldest share a room with just enough room for two side by side single beds, a desk and a chest of drawers. They are 18 and 16.
ds1 will really appreciate the privacy that comes with a tiny student room next year, and ds2 will then get a big bedroom to himself.
The benefits of living in this home with this family in this town in this country far outweigh any inconveniences of sharing - as I sometimes remind them when they fight over who has made the most mess

[sullysmum]

My sons were forever fighting as young kids so i had the bedroom and the small cupboard room at top of stairs made into two single bedrooms.

[Custardmum]

My 2 share, 12 and 14 in bunk beds. Absolutely hate it. They do nothing but fight. Will be moving to 4 bed ASAP!