Any legal advice would be appreciated!

[ClareBX]

Hi Guys,

Hope any over you may be able to provide some help.

I am a step parent (non -married). I have been for the past 10 years.
My bf had 2 children when I met him living wiht him full time they were 6years and 4 years old.
The story is, my partners ex already had 3 children when she met my guy, they then had 2 of their own. She then left the home in 1997 to pursue another relationship and left all 5 kids with him. He applied to court to ask her to take responsibility but she just said he can have residence and responsibility of them both. The other 3 children went to live wiht their dad.
I then met him.
a year later we had our daughter (now 8).
The estranged mother has been a nightmare. Since she realised that he had met me she went to court to get a contact order of which she was granted. She saw the kids for a couple of times and then didnt bother again. SHe used the days to itterogate them about our home life together. In the meantime the other children that had gone to their dad were being badly neglected. Really really bad headlice, not being feed, being beaten etc. The mother aparrently had contact with them every 2 weeks but yet still did nothing..
Those children eventually went in to care then foster care. There mum was still seeing them.
I would like to add that their mum doesn't take drugs not a big drinker and works. She had bf after bf. Not caring for her childre.

My bf could never got or gets any maintenance off her as she manipulated the system so much.

She got the neighbours involced to ruin our lives and asked the neighbours to tell his kids to call childline and say they were being hit so they went in to care and she could see them whenever she wanted.

There is so much other stuff to say but basically she hasn';t bothered with the kids for sooo long. in and out of contact orders.

She then got invloved by chance with his eldest daughter who is now 15 and basically turned her to hate her dad. She has now left the home, pregnant and going against him... its a nightmare. His daughter which we looked after for so long is no longer touchable.
My bf is such a great dad and partner. He cleans cooks, works, does all the DIY, does the washing...everything basically (I do lots too lol) but he is such a good guy and has provided such a great home for all of us.

Now the mother has come back trying to get the boy who is now 14. We are going htrough court at the moment. he is claiming she has nver be allowed to see him and that we have moved over 5 times.

This is not true, she has always be granted an order but sometimes she only wnated the girl asn the boy was to young. Sometimes she would just not turn up. Sometimes the kids would get little notes through the door when she was meant to come saying cant make it.

She is saying in court that my bf hit the children and that I am a bad mother. We have social services reports and all sorts to prove thats not the case. The kids have had so many cafcass reports its unreal....al at the gratification on her. She only is doing this to cause stressin our relationship...it has nothing to do with the kids at all!!

Lsat time we went to court the court said she was not to have an interuim order this time until a cafcass report is done at end of nov. The boy doesn't want to see her he actually hates her.

She is so nasty and manipulative but jsut doesnt care. She also had a nother child who is now 3 years old. She also said in her statement that if she has the boy she would be able to get a 3 bedroomed council flat!! OMG we are sooo angry. The boy is sooo emotionally affected by her yo yo feelings that he has a lot of agression in him! he has poor results at shcool and always gets in to fights. We owrk closely with the school to cater for all his needs as he is clearly affected. She doesn't care though. Just wants a house.

I am so sorry for long post but need advice. We dont have legal representation as we just cant afford it right now. We cant get legal aid. she has legal aid though.

If there is any clause or legal jargon we could use in the hearing in december or before this would be appreciated.

We are applying to court to have the social services reports available as these are important as we contancted SS for advice on how to deal with children with behaviourable probs.

Any help much apprecited guys!!

Thanks

[themoon66]

Blimey... that is complicated. I've read it through twice, but still find it confusing.

But, thought i'd best bump it for you anyway.

Someome may come along who has some legal knowledge to help you.

[McEdam]

Blimey. Sorry, no legal expertise, but feel for you.

[oddjobgirl]

just LOL. Go to Citizens Advise or Legal AID, if working in your area. Heavy duty topic and u need heavy duty advice. MN good for chat but not for heavy duty legal advice.

[toesh]

Having had some experience of social services, am a bit confused by your situation.Hope that it all works out for the best for the children - and you.

[law3]

Im not a legal expert, but i thought that once a child reached a certain age ie 14 years or above the they could decide where and with whom they wanted to live.

This bit probably wont go down too well, but have you thought about letting the 'mum' have supervised visits with her son. This could work to everyones advantage, if she turns up, her son gets to see her (after all he must be feeling very unloved and unwanted) and if she doesnt stick to the arrangements, it is being documented and you will have proof.

Although you might not be able to afford legal representation in Court there is lots of free advice you can get beforehand.

[needmorecoffee]

If the lad is 14 then the court will listen to him. He can't be made to live anywhere he doesn't want to at that age. He canhave his own solicitor and get legal aid cos of his age.
So if he doesn't want contact with his mother or to live with her he does get a choice.