I am writing for some advice regarding a 17 year old who is a relative, but not my son.
Background: he has grown up in a pretty dysfunctional family, with one extremely controlling parent. On top of that an immediate family member of his died quite traumatically when he was 13. He is quite 'young' for his age and really passive I think as a result of having his life organised for him.
He just seems to always have had a problem with energy/drive/motivation. His school reports for eg, whilst nodding to his clear academic potential, are always littered with comments about his laissez faire attitude and sulkiness. Although he can be confident around others (e.g. in his summer job), his teachers often describe him as introverted, and not involved enough in extra curricular activities.
He is at a really good fee paying school but has just had AS Levels results back which were really disappointing (3 grades below what was expected in all but one subject). His predicted grades were high but again, these were tempered by the warnings in his reports.
It has left him pretty shocked. He admits he didn't work enough, but at the time, he was so resentful and irate at being asked to revise any more or questions about his application.
But now, he just doesn't seem to be gearing himself up to fix the problem - eg being proactive about checking resits/mark checking. Or setting himself goals even. Just really passive. Avoiding it all really
I had been holding out that it was just a stage in the development process, a teenage thing.
He is a lovely boy and has been through so much shit and I just don't want to see this downward trend keep spiralling. I have a close relationship with him and some influence over the family so would appreciate advice for what I can do to help turn this around.
Many thanks
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Teenagers
Listless 17y/o on the brink of failure but doesn't seem to realise it. How can I help him?
4 replies
thisismyusernamegoodeh · 19/08/2014 22:05
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