Best way to tell parents you are pregnant?

[Bookmonster345]

Have NC'ed for this. My best friend's DD (14) has come to me to ask what I think is the best way to tell her parents that she was pregnant would be. Her parents are very strict Catholics and don't believe in sex before marriage or abortion. So if you were her parents, how would you like to find out that your 14 year old DD was pregnant?

[Trollsworth]

I think the best thing to do would be to take her to the doctor. People can be irrational and cruel when their religion tells them to be.

I would not advocate that a fourteen year old put the rest of her life in the hands of someone who will force her to labour and to feel guilty about it. Doctor first.

[ChillySundays]

I would want my daughter to tell me herself and would be mortified if she felt she had to go to someone else first. But then I am not her parents and I can understand why she has gone to you.
How do you feel your friend would react if you are there when she tells her mum?

[mathanxiety]

You know your best friend well. How do you think she would respond? Does she rant to you about teens having sex, or about abortion? Does she seem to get upset about teen fathers? Is her H the sort who would want to kill whatever boyfriend is responsible?

If it is a sure thing that the girl is pregnant (has been confirmed at doctor office) then maybe you could go with her and tell the parents the news?

Fourteen is so young. Poor girl.

[mathanxiety]

Fwiw, I am a Catholic and the RC religion does not tell people to be irrational or cruel. There is no denying there are nutjobs with ishoos who call themselves Catholics who are highly judgemental and have no grip on the values underlying the religion, and this sort of narrowness about sex outside of marriage, and unmarried young mothers used to be a huge focus of the church, sadly and shamefully but that is not what the religion is about.

I do understand the point that people can be very self righteous and trample all over other people if they think they are doing 'The Lord's Work'. Clearly the parents have not had their DD's best interests in mind if they neglected to educate her about sex and sexual relationships, and preferred preaching over forming a good relationship with her, though they may think they are doing really well.

[notquiteruralbliss]

Whatever her parents views are in abstract, it might be different when it is their 14 yo. So yes, maybe encourage her to see a doctor and (if she is pregnant) let her work out what she wants to do about it (she may be only 14 but it is very much her decision) and then help her break the news to her parents.