Caught just 14 year old ds swigging alcohol

[notexpectingthis]

Please can you give me some advice on how to deal with this.

Caught DS swigging from a bottle of gin at 10am last Sunday morning. We were staying at his grandparents and their alcohol is kept in their utility room in a cupboard. You would have to look for it.

The previous night as I kissed him at bedtime I said he smelt of alcohol and I asked him and he said he had not had any. At the time I thought I was mistaken but the next day I heard the chink of glass bottles and just caught him in the act.

He was very remorseful and said he did it as all his friends were texting saying they were at parties. He said, as he would, it was the first time. Other than this and arguments about his phone usage he is sensible lad.

I have since got him to unlock his phone to see his texting as he is attached to his phone. On there he seems to constantly brag about being drunk but at home I only occasionally have a bottle of wine in and that is it. At his dad's house there is a lot more alcohol but he is only there once a fortnight.

His dad and I are meeting with him on his return from Scout camp on Monday. We want to show a united front, find out why he is doing this and how he has broken our trust. We are also thinking about taking away his smart phone and replacing with his old phone for a while.

I know teenagers drink but he is so young and was not with friends just alone on a Sunday morning.

Any advice please on where to go from here. Thanks.

[Ledkr]

It sounds as if he's trying to be like his dad.
Open discussion is the way forward and some information on alcohol and it's negative effects.

[adeucalione]

Teenagers are curious about stuff, particularly if their friends are bragging about smoking, drinking or whatever.

Perhaps it is time to allow small alcoholic drinks, with a family meal for example, to demystify it a bit, and to open a dialogue about sensible consumption and knowing limits.

[specialsubject]

also time to mention that swilling too much can put you in hospital or worse. There is a reason why children are not supposed to drink.

some more interesting friends might help, and also some self-confidence to reduce the sheep-y attitude.

[niceguy2]

One of the best things I ever did was to not bother about my DD drinking.

That way she doesn't hide it and it took the 'rebellion' out of it. It gets boring for them if you're not bothered .

DD is now 18 and even when we went on holiday all inclusive, she had one cocktail a day and the rest if the time just drank water. Even at teenage parties she'll have a few then stop whilst her friends are sick everywhere.

my point is that if you don't make it into an issue then they have no need to hide anything and you can talk and educate rather than punish which rarely works. you'll be the bad guys and he'll still drink....Only he'll hide it better.

[DisgraceToTheYChromosome]

^Spot on.

Mind you, I'm surprised that he could stomach gin at his age. I much preferred stealing DF's Dimple Haig.

[Verycold]

I find it very difficult to know what to do. Latest research says young people should stay alcohol free ubtil they turn 15 at least, but received wisdom says introduce them slowly from an earlier age?