Teenagers, computers, and trust.

[SixImpossible]

Coding geek ds would like his own laptop for his 14th birthday, and wants administrator status for it.

Opinions?

[NorthWards]

As long as he understands the details of internet safety (As I am sure a coding geek would) then I can't see any problem.

Might be worth a chat about it to reinforce the details of staying safe when he gets it however.

[AuntieStella]

There comes a point where you just have to let them go.

My teens can out-geek me easily. I have to rely on common sense, education and communication. As you have to for many hazards of the teen years, whether online or in real life.

[SixImpossible]

That's my feeling, too, but dh (software engineer) feels ds is still vulnerable and needs safeguarding. Ds can be very naive, yet at the same time hugely over-confident.

Compromise I want to suggest is that ds should have administrator status, but keep us informed of passwords. We will not snoop on him, but if we felt it necessary to look at his laptop and could not gain access, then the machine would be confiscated.

Would that run an acceptable balance between freedom and supervision?

[NorthWards]

That seems fair for a 14 year old, you can always change the ruling later if it becomes necessary. I think you have to stay quite fluid with things like this as the DC mature and can be trusted more.

[bigTillyMint]

What are you worried he will do?

[LongTimeLurking]

A 14 y/o with complete access to the computer / internet will obviously look at adult content at some point. If you are OK with this then I can't see what else you are worried about, unless you think he is going to try and hack into the pentagon or something.

[SixImpossible]

A 14 y/o with complete access to the computer / internet will obviously look at adult content at some point. If you are OK with this then I can't see what else you are worried about, unless you think he is going to try and hack into the pentagon or something.

Quite so.

I know he already sees adult content that we disapprove of, because many of his friends have unrestricted access or very relaxed parents. I know that we cannot prevent it. I can only hope that we have brought him up well enough for the adult content not to influence him enough to distort his perception of interpersonal relationships. This is one of the issues that we worry about regarding his immaturity and innocence.

The other aspect is, yes, legality. He has some odd ideas over what is or is not legal. Informed, of course, by other coding geeks! He gets 7a for source analysis in History, but it does not occur to him toapplythe same rigour to checking his facts when hacking code.

[SixImpossible]

Innocence is not the best choice of words. Ignorance or inexperience would be more accurate.

[DisgraceToTheYChromosome]

As he's bright, have a chat with him about the relevant law: Sexual Offences Act, Malicious Communications Act, Computer Misuse Act, RIPA etc. Here's a selection of cases