Same old, same old - DSs and general mess and lack of cooperation

[MeridithMcMilan]

I have two DSs 16 and 19 - for as long as I can remember I have been battling to get them, the older one, to do simple things like put their clothes into the laundry basket, rather than on the floor; bring plates out of bedroom; blah blah blah.

I withdraw services - don't cook or wash etc and things improve for a day or so, and then they carry on as normal. I tell them they're being disrespectul but they mainly regard it as a joke between one and just buy pizzas themselves - the elder one earns money and doesn'tmind spending it on food for them both.

I realise they often don't see the mess, and its of no consequence to them, "its my bedroom", but I like to live in a tidyish house.

They know how to wash their own clothes and they can cook their own meals, but I like to to cook for them when they've been at college/work and I prefer their clothes to be washed regularly - they would just wear everything and then find something on the floor to wear, or wash the one item they want to wear.

I know I'm imposing my standards on them, but don't think they're unreasonable and I obviously missed the chance to train them into tidiness long ago.

Advice please.

[MortaIWombat]

A few pointed remarks in front of their girlfriends about dirty pants on their floors and mouldy plates?

[MeridithMcMilan]

No girlfriends as yet.

[specialsubject]

who pays for internet? Removing that will really hurt.

also take clothes away (don't wash) and keep removing dirty items until there is nothing left. If it is go out naked or pull out fingers, that might work.

[chocoluvva]

Same behaviour with my 17 and 15 YOs.

They probably think we're being unreasonably fussy. I was the same at that age .

The older one is tidy and organised if she's having friends round.

[chocoluvva]

Do you have a partner? I'm asking because my DH is part of the problem - extremely untidy and doesn't usually back me up when requesting a contribution to the housework. The DC probably think I'm a fusspot. Which I'm not.

[offtoseethewizard64]

I find this infuriating too - I feel like a record that has got stuck with DS (17).
I was running late this morning (not my fault but hey ho!) and when I got back in at 1.30pm after going to the gym and doing the shopping, I shouted for DS to help me unload the car, only to discover he had only just got up and was in the shower. I was not impressed. His breakfast crockery was in his room/remnants on the draining board (we have a dishwasher) and whilst I was looking forward to his help to put the shopping away so i could get lunch (breakfast was at 0700 and I had run 5 miles and done weights so was starving), I had to put everything away by myself.
I have made him mow the lawns this afternoon as he has spent all morning playing on Facebook/mindless games on his Nexus as he expects me to give him a lift this evening. I am fed up of reminding him that he has to help out/tidy up after himself as there is not a 'fairy' that does everything. I showed him the door the other night after he refused to empty the dishwasher as "it isn't his job". Only another 6 weeks of this hell to go before he goes back to college - and any suggestion that he should get a part time job is just met with a shrug - so at least be grateful meridith that one of yours is earning and is sharing with the other.

[ChillySundays]

My DH has asked my DS to water the plants in the garden. Look at the time and still not done. Busy having a shower now.

[Bookmonster345]

Hi
No advice, but I remember when I was a teenager I didn't want to do anything my parents told me, even if I considered what they had asked me to do and thought they were being reasonable, as I didn't like to "give in to them". Maybe that it happening with your children?