gamer-girl dd never goes out 15 year old help

[diggerlady]

My dd is 15 and loves gaming/youtube etc but appart from one friend (occasionally) never goes out with other people. Where can I suggest she goes to meet people. .she is quite confident but doesn't do the fitting in shopping/girly thing. She is very tall and size 14 so can feel she sticks out a bit too.i hate to see her stuck at home. Any advice??

[Siarie]

Let her be herself, gaming is getting bad press but I grew up a gamer and it has not hindered my ability to socialise.

You learn a lot gaming, strategy, usually games can be social, working as a team and it can be great fun.

What are you worried will happen?

[annielostit]

My ds is quite the same. You can hear him online across the hall, laughing and tasg teaming etc.I've been reassured by his teachers there's nothing for me to worry about.

[CaulkheadUpNorth]

Our library has a gaming afternoon/evening. Local coffee shop also has a similar thing one evening. Could you see if anything like that happens in your area?

[nooka]

My ds (15) does virtually all his socialising on line. His social life is a lot more harmonious and positive that dd's which is full of drama (and sometimes serious unhappiness). I do think he should leave the house/go outside more, but he is generally happy and has good friends (that we've never met!) so I don't push it. Besides what can you do? My mother was always going on at me for not having friends over, and all it did was make me very annoyed /even less likely to invite anyone over.

[YeGodsAndLittleFishes]

Agree with othwrs to go with the things she is already interested in and support and celebrate that first, most importantly. Then, there are a number of sports for which height is an advantage (rowing springs to mind, also women's rugby, cricket, tennis...lots of ithers!) Lots of people discover these sports late and go on to excel in them, 15 is relatively young. Regular attendance to sports clubs, building skills and then helping newer arrivals is a great way to build lots of new relationships of all ages.

Or, how about a bit of part time work. At 15 she can do a couple of hours a week. If there is a local internet cafe that could be a place where she would feel in her element, or perhaps volunteering at the local library?

Or would she like to take up learning an instrument? Piano, cello, clarinet/bassoon? There could be local youth orchestras taking beginners, and community ones she could join once she gets to grade 3/5.

See what there is available locally, too, as starting where you are and finding others who want to meet people is often the quickest way to make connections.

Even local church groups can run interesting summer clubs, and teenagers don't have to be believers to join in, some are designed to be user friendly to people who are not believers. Councils, churches and other religious organisations also run community projects she might be interested in helping out with.

[CrayolaCocaColaRocknRolla]

I grew up a gamer, and I never go out. I'm happy. I have a job & a partner.

[tara49]

My DD is the same but not a gamer- she reads a bit, games a bit and watches tv a bit. She has 2 school friends but very casually and she never goes out at weekends or gets invited anywhere and it makes me sad as I was so close to my friends at her age. She isn't interested in boys or fashion or music or make-up, she's got a loving sweet nature but just doesn't 'fit in'.
I feel really sorry for her but then my son is 16 and his social life is out of control, he's never in, I know he's smoking cannabis and is constantly surrounded by a group of friends on the rare occasion that I do see him - I have no idea what he's up to and am worried about how he will get through 6th form from sept as all he is interested in is partying...
I don't know which is worse and am not enjoying teenage parenting at all!!!
I would love to find my DD a friend but she doesn't seem to be what they want!

[suemum8]

I have a gamer 13 year old. She Skype's loads and you tubes constantly. She thinks she is different but who put her in that category. She is smart/ funny/ and is great with her online friends I just wish as a parent they would see what time is spent talking to people they may not meet. She got picked on a school for gaming but it has now led to a 'boy' friend in same year and again they are apparently in different peer groups so contact is minimal and no friends know they speak out of school. I find all this technology and locking away in rooms really hard . I am trying to support it but even my adult friends and family think she is rude and isolated !!! What can I do I am trying to be her friend as she has not got many. They all stopped contacting her as she never wants to do anything . should this be tough love ?

[Travelledtheworld]

My DD15 is the same. On line gaming most of the time and rarely socialises..She is at a selective Grammar school and does very well but not really academic and she wants to be a computer game designer.

She points out to me this is a growth industry, women gamers are a target audience and there is a shortage of female games designers !

My main concern is lack of exercise and not going out of the house so I encourage her to help me at the stables and she does some volunteering for a local charity.

Keep your DD doing something else to get her out of the house and meeting different people in the real world.

[CrayolaCocaColaRocknRolla]

yy to pp.
Gaming is growing, but only console gaming. I did video game development in college. I go to the gym and such (even though I hate it) as i am very unfit, but slim. I hate going out, my mother got used to that.
the stables sounds excellent!