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Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

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Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Teenagers

paying nominal sum for board as an apprentice

83 replies

traceyinrosso70 · 02/06/2014 21:14

My DS has an interview tomorrow for an apprenticeship but also has a college place to do a 2 year BTech . He has just discovered that he will get £100.50 a week if he gets offered the job and when we dropped in to conversation that he would need to pay a small sum towards his board ( we thought about £15 a week which will cover what we will lose in child benefit) he has absolutely flipped his lid. He doesn't think its fair because big sister (18) doesn't pay any but she is just finishing A levels and just has a Saturday job. He has a Saturday job too and we have said its his decision - stop on at college and don't pay board or take the apprenticeship ,if offered, and pay board. Are we being unreasonable or just teaching him the value of money? £15 a week won't even cover the cost of food, let alone the laundry service and heat/light but we felt it was more making the point that you start to fend for yourself once you start to earn.

OP posts:

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HoneyBooBooChild · 02/06/2014 21:15

I think it's a bit unfair to make one pay and not the other.

usualsuspectt · 02/06/2014 21:17

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

frames · 02/06/2014 21:18

He is earning a wage and should learn that some needs to go towards bills. Give him the option to move out and pay his own bills.

traceyinrosso70 · 02/06/2014 21:20

Neither pay anything as they both only have Saturday jobs. 18 year old is off to Uni in September so wont have a full time income. We are only asking him to pay it if he gets the full time apprenticeship. If he goes to college and just has his Saturday job then he wont pay like his sister - perhaps I didn't make it very clear. Or are you suggesting that sister pays board out of her Saturday job money?????

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traceyinrosso70 · 02/06/2014 21:21

He was planning on cycling to work as not far from home and job is in a bike shop!

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flipchart · 02/06/2014 21:24

I refuse to take a penny from DS1 who is an apprentice on £125 a week.

He will take us out for a meal occasionally but I think it is ridiculous to charge your kids board.

traceyinrosso70 · 02/06/2014 21:26

Why is it ridiculous ? If they are still living at home at 30 years old and earning 20k will they still not need to pay ?

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RandomMess · 02/06/2014 21:26

I think he should replace the child benefit you will lose out on if he takes the apprentice position.

usualsuspectt · 02/06/2014 21:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

flipchart · 02/06/2014 21:29

Sigh! Ok maybe at 30 on ££££££'s. but I'm not expecting mine to be living at home then.

But on shit wages yes I do think it is ridiculous.
DS's priority is to pay his expenses, and day to day living and travel, save as much as he can and live a bit.

There's not much left after that.

traceyinrosso70 · 02/06/2014 21:30

I think it is £13.55 a week we will lose out on so it seems to me that if we don't charge him some nominal amount we will be out of pocket and he will have £400 a month to spend on gadgets/ clothes/going out. Wish I had £400 a month to just spend on me!

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PenelopePitstops · 02/06/2014 21:31

You are right to take it, even if you save it and give it it back to him one day. What will he spend that much money on?!

2cats2many · 02/06/2014 21:31

I wouldn't. It almost sounds like you're penalizing him for taking the apprenticeship when thats a form of learning top- just vocational rather than academic.

traceyinrosso70 · 02/06/2014 21:35

Its not penalizing him, in my opinion, but DD1 doesn't get given £400 a month for working hard at A levels - its not that one is better/ more important simply that one pays and one doesn't

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RandomMess · 02/06/2014 21:35

Perhaps the op should give her dd the £13.55 per week CB that they got for her sticking to academic subjects then?

I paid £10 out of £30 per week board when I left college to take up an apprentic post. Ended up getting a Saturday job as well!

flipchart · 02/06/2014 21:36

Yeah, because £400quid is a fucking fortune to earn over a month on full time hours!!

Good grief, your quibbling over 13 quid a week!

If you don't want him to spend it on gadgets/clothes and going out ( and why not?) encourage him to put some into a long term savings plan and get him to pay an occasional bill such as the water bill if you must.

headlesslambrini · 02/06/2014 21:37

YANBU. Start as you mean to go on. I work with teens and most have to pay keep when they leave school.

HoneyBooBooChild · 02/06/2014 21:40

He is earning a wage and should learn that some needs to go towards bills. Give him the option to move out and pay his own bills.

Yeah, give him the option of renting his own place and paying his bills on £400 a month. Good idea! Give the kid a break. I feel like you are penalising him for choosing an apprenticeship over a levels and uni. If you charge him a percentage of his wage then you should charge your daughter a percentage of her wage

OddBoots · 02/06/2014 21:41

As soon as I was earning I paid 1/3rd of what I earned in board money, I didn't know it at the time but my parents saved it up and gave it to me when I left home but even if they didn't I think it was fair enough. I think the problem comes in that you've not asked anything of your eldest so it will rightly or wrongly feel unfair to your ds.

traceyinrosso70 · 02/06/2014 21:42

I am not saying £400 a month is a lot - in fact I think it is an insulting hourly rate but that is out of my hands as the government set the rate.I take it that some people haven't had to count the pennies - thankfully the £13 a week will not cause us a problem but I know a lot of people would struggle with £50 less a month

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outtheothersidefinally · 02/06/2014 21:44

Don't underestimate the value of teaching your children about money. Having £400 to yourself each money is A LOT!
Definitely ask for the weekly contribution.

RandomMess · 02/06/2014 21:44

But it's an apprecentice position ie education still, it's not a proper "wage"

He needs to realise that food, heat, rent etc, all costs money and lets face it £14 per week probably won't come close to covering his share of food!!! I just think it's easier to instill it from the start.

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traceyinrosso70 · 02/06/2014 21:45

Ok , it seems that I should of been charging my A level student board from her Saturday pay whilst my son hasn't paid board from his either???????

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neversleepagain · 02/06/2014 21:45

My parents never charged us to live in our home. They said they would be heating the house no matter who lived there and that an extra plate of food was no hardship to them.

I wouldn't charge my children to live at home.

flipchart · 02/06/2014 21:45

I hate all this about 'start as you mean to go on' 'yeah, he's got to learn!!'

Like others have said give the lad a break!!

Not everything has to be a life lesson. Let them enjoy being young and having some freedom, Christ, it doesn't last long!!

My deal is no charge until he has been kept on after an apprentiship and earning a proper wage. Even then I'm not fussed.

Flip

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