What on earth do I do with this discovery?

(12 Posts)
Itstoosoonforthis Thu 01-May-14 12:47:03

I've found some razor blades in my 13 year olds bedroom

My first response was -how the bloody hell did she get hold of razor blades which is stupid as it quite clearly doesn't matter at this point

I don't know if she's used them, they weren't particularly well concealed, just on a box on her dresser -something made me open it, I very rarely venture into her room

She has had a lot to deal with in the past but she's seemed pretty balanced lately, nothing more than normal angst

What do I do? Do I inform school etc?

Never thought I would have to deal with this and I'm a loan parent so have no RL support with this

adeucalione Thu 01-May-14 14:13:29

I don't want to minimise this, and of course you will want to discuss this sensitively with your DD, but I just wanted to tell you that this isn't necessarily as awful as it first appears.

I have four DCs and at their schools self harming has almost become an epidemic - it is talked about openly, often done in public and the marks are compared. I could name dozens of their friends who do this, bright seemingly well adjusted teens, who have jumped on the bandwagon for unknown, presumably attention seeking, reasons (there are forums and websites that fuel this).

I am only aware of one child who did it secretly for years, cutting deeply and in discrete places and telling no one until her parents found out; she is getting the help she needs now.

The fact that the razor blades were in plain view suggests the reason is more likely to be the former than the latter I think, but someone with more experience than me should be along soon.

Where they in a little white box? She doesn't have one of those foot scraper things does she from Pound Land, they give you a box of razor blades with them.

Do you mean actual blades or the razor blade heads that you can buy for razors?

Itstoosoonforthis Thu 01-May-14 14:30:43

They were razor blades that you would buy as refills but not in a dispenser they were in an earring box on her dresser

Foreveratodds Thu 01-May-14 17:41:32

I would definitely talk to her. Take the opportunity to open up a dialogue about it without being confrontational. A chat. This is your chance to have a say before it starts. If it really is becoming an epidemic then it has to be discussed like drugs and safe sex.
Then keep an eye and try to see her naked from time to time.

Psycobabble Thu 01-May-14 17:44:39

I might sound totally dumb here but I remember as a child I wasn't allowed to shave my legs untill I was a bit older so I used to nick the odd one of my dads n stash it so I could!! ??

Foreveratodds Thu 01-May-14 18:03:44

Yes exactly it could be anything that's why she needs to talk about it.

anthropology Mon 05-May-14 21:42:22

Try to talk to her in a non-judgemental way. ie you know its tough being a teenager, and people find different strategies to cope . If she is, try not to express shock or stop her, but do persuade her to go the GP/counsellor at school, with the aim of finding other less harmful coping strategies through referral to camhs or a therapist. (see Young Minds website) My DD self harmed in secret for a few months at that age , didnt share with her friends or find sites on the internet, but the pain release helped the pain she felt inside and didnt understand. Yes, it appears some teens self harm , maybe influenced by each other , but parents who have a child who has self harmed realise they need some sort of support.

My DD would have been described as bright and well adjusted, but beneath her smiles, was suicidal and even now friends and family don't understand how she was so unwell, but she was and it's often bright,sensitive, creative girls who struggle in their teens so I do feel its dangerous to assume its a fashionable epidemic. Every case is different.

Best of luck and hope in your case, all is ok.

liveoutloud Sun 18-May-14 03:44:00

OMG people I just found out that my daughter (almost 13) started SH. I am not sure what to say. I talked to her, I tried my best to do the right thing and not make it better, but I have no idea what �the right thing� actually is. I do not know anything about this; I have never known anybody who did it. I would like to help her but I feel like I am dying and do not know if I can survive one more day of this feeling I have inside, the pain is unbearable. Oh, I hope it does not last too long. Will it?

liveoutloud Sun 18-May-14 04:03:03

meant to say, not make it worse (not better).

foreveratodds Sun 18-May-14 15:07:55

Call the national self harm network 08006226000 helpline. Open sunday evening too.

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