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Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Teenagers

I've bloody had enough with DS2 and arseing about with homework

17 replies

scouseontheinside · 29/04/2014 09:49

No time management skills what so ever.

I am trying so hard not to nag, I'm going to get an ulcer. Every bloody day, DS2 (14) comes home and faffs around with his phone, kicking the football around the garden, winding up the other DC, eating me out of blimmin home and home... and then at 9:00pm (shower and general wind down time, in bed at 9:30 for lights out at 10pm) starts shouting and banging about the house, saying he's got homework to do, yadaya. Course this is my fault. Then the next day he's exhausted and a right cross patch from sun up to sun down. Then lather, rinse, repeat, that same night.

I had a call from his head of year last week, saying that DS had been grumpy and tired in school, resulting in general lack of attention in class, and cheek towards teachers.

I've had it. I told him over the weekend, that the router would go off at 9pm and all electronics would be handed in. If homework isn't done, he can suffer the consequences.

He's just come to yell about how unfair I am (currently night time where we are), and has banged off to his room. Apparently it's my fault he's now going to get in trouble at school and the 3 hours he spent mucking around this afternoon are irrelevant to his situation

jesus, what a rant. Does anyone a manual for teenagers?

OP posts:

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chocoluvva · 29/04/2014 12:03

I feel your pain.

Ignore his ranting as best you can. Teenage brain-rewiring .....

isitsnowingyet · 29/04/2014 13:12

Oh goodness - I'm there with you and would have the t-shirt too if they made one.

If you find the manual for teenagers, I'll pay a lot a money for it and follow all the instructions.

FernieB · 29/04/2014 19:00

Teenage rants - aren't they delightful!

I would take away phone/football/Internet etc after school and tell him he can have them back when homework is done and shown to you. Stand firm and ignore rants. If he tells you he doesn't have homework just to get his phone etc and then it turns out he does, then he loses his phone etc for 2 days.

As an incentive for getting into a good homework routine you could offer a treat of some kind if he manages to keep to the routine for 2 weeks.

poppymoon · 29/04/2014 22:54

i can totally feel your pain!! i've tried the router going off. he watches tv. i'm thinking of removing the sky box. as for getting the phone away from him, i swear he sleeps with it up his A**e!!

scouseontheinside · 30/04/2014 05:22

Well, it's reassuring to hear I'm not the only one. I sent an email to the head of year to let him know the score - and that we were 100 percent behind what ever consequences they dished out.

DS had a lunchtime detention and his now quietly finishing up his homework in his room. Long may this last!

OP posts:

AmazingDisgrace · 01/05/2014 16:34

I have one of those 14yr old homework avoiding sons too If we merely suggest that he does his homework and stops arseing about online then we are met with strops and rants. That's if he is even speaking to us at all, generally he just mumbles, grunts and rolls his eyes. If he's booted off the computer then he just lolls around hunched over his phone.

Even a " hi DS how was your day?" is met with a stare that clearly suggests I am infringing on his human rights in some way.

Claybury · 01/05/2014 17:56

Amazing d - at 14 that sounds normal but it's sooo horrible. Just reading your post has reminded me that we are actually coming out of this phase at 16 ! I can now say hi without being treated with disdain

Our Wifi is off from 10.30 pm and it has helped my teen DC's focus though they are fairly conscientious tbh - I did it more to put an end to late night messaging.

MrsBrianODriscoll · 01/05/2014 18:12

In from school quick chat about his day, ascertain how much homework he has and then from that decide whether he can have a 30 minute break or a 45 minute break. He puts the time on the timer, when it goes off he stands up and goes direct to homework.

We don't do this on Friday's but all homework must be finished by 11 on a Saturday morning.

Is there any chance you could get him into this routine. ???

chocoluvva · 01/05/2014 20:08

MrsBrian

unrealhousewife · 02/05/2014 12:14

I was just about to start a post about DD and self-sabotage. This it seems is the beginning of it. Avoidance and procrastination and then failure is easier to them than knuckling down to the work.

I've discussed this with her but still she was up after midnight despite no router on for 2 hours, warnings and naggings and had an exam today.

Somehow she has to find studying a more attractive option than procrastinating.

unrealhousewife · 02/05/2014 12:14

Mrsbrian does DS do his work alone and on a computer or do you supervise?

MrsBrianODriscoll · 02/05/2014 18:38

I think the best way of describing it is a benign presence, I float around in the background unloading the dishwasher, checking emails, starting dinner.

unrealhousewife · 02/05/2014 22:16

:) Benign presence - mine hides in her bedroom with the door shut. I can be present up there, but not benign.

Nocomet · 02/05/2014 22:49

"A Have you any HW?"
"No."
"Are you sure"
"Yes!"

So Why are you sat at my computer at 6.45 am filling the screen with what apears to be History HW,

There's no good getting cross, she won't choose to be any more organised. Just painful to live with.

She's a frustratingly perverse creature, because she's actually massively more organised than me, when it pleases her.

She's also clever enough to get away with doing HW at crack of dawn and on the bus and avoid detention (except for German, which she loathes and which has a grumpy teacher. ~80% would rather just do French)

AmazingDisgrace · 03/05/2014 12:18

Better day today, he actually seems chirpy and chatty. I much prefer this version and I wish he'd stay like this

scouseontheinside · 04/05/2014 09:54

They are the limit aren't they? How much of a hand do you have in their school work? Honestly, if I say anything, I'm a nag, I'm controlling, etc... and we end up frustrated, stressed, and yelling.

If I leave him to his own devices, he doesn't do it and then it's my fault, and we end up frustrated, stressed, and yelling. And let's not forget a call home from school.

Argh!!

OP posts:

Nocomet · 04/05/2014 10:01

Yes they are the limit, but were you any better when you were a teen?

I decline to find DD2 too annoying as I was far far worse. I didn't do some subjects HW ever.

The difference is at my school, what happened in school, stayed in school. They wouldn't have dreamed of ringing home. We didn't have HW diaries or home school contracts and sometimes I don't think that was a bad thing.

I'm not sure teens need everyone on their backs, it just makes them less cooperative.

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