little sod won't apologise

[honeychild]

DS1 - still only 11, but it seems the mums of teenage boys are the best to rant to - has just started getting an attitude and driving me nuts.
Just had a big stand-off about fighting with his brother - told both boys off and he flatly refuses to apologise.
Just wanted to let off steam as it's the first time he's really stood up to me and been majorly stroppy (he's always been the easy one, so it's harder). Aaaah, that feels better already, just getting it off my chest.
I guess this is the beginning of 6 or 7 years of fun and games. I'll be seeing you all a bit more often on here...

[Tortington]

may be he thinks he is right -you can't apologise if you think your right - its a good quality - he is not a moulded puppet of his parents he is a boy with his own thoughts and arguments and feelings - so read that back.......there you go - how fab are you? well done xxx!

[jollymum]

Ask him to think about why he won't apologise. He probably knows he's wrong but would rather cut his bits off than say sorry. Ask him to find you when there's a quiet time and talk. He may mutter sorry and rush off but hey, you've won!!

[tigermoth]

did his brother apologise as well? Were they both equally in the wrong and do you know all the fact and background?

What I really hate is when my 12 year old apologises and does not mean it - it is so obvious and really winds me up.

Actions speak louder than words IMO - any apologetic housework/tidying up task you can set him or both sons?

Interesting that this is the first time he won't back down. Think you need to dig deeper to find out why.

[honeychild]

Yeah, he definitely thinks he's in the right. And I think I'm in the right (I was right next to them while they were fighting).

I think maybe I'm overreacting cos this is the first time it's happened - my sweet, thoughtful, polite boy is starting to change into a stroppy teenager. I know it's his hormones because (gulp) he is having to have hormone treatment to bring on puberty as he was born without any testicles (breaks off to have little sob about that). All of which will be why I'll probably be on here full time for the next 10 years as he deals with the implications of that.

Whoops - hadn't mentioned to splurge all that right now. Having mentioned it, the whole fighting thing seems irrelevant. Sigh deeply.

[SecondhandRose]

honeychild, join the club, had another testing day with my 11yr old DS today. GGGGGGrrrrrrr.

[SecondhandRose]

honeychild, join the club, had another testing day with my 11yr old DS today. GGGGGGrrrrrrr.

[honeychild]

Thanks, SHR. It's wierd - some days he's back to his old, sweet self, and others he morphs into the most unreasonable person I don't know how to deal with. All usual tactics fail, and I feel like I'm having to learn my parenting all over again. Much worse when his friends are round. Is his what you're finding?

Just have to make the most of the nice days, I guess

[SecondhandRose]

Snap, I say to him "have you put Mr Hyde away again?", we had a terrible day yesterday, pretty good today. All he wants to do is either play Playstation, computer or watch TV and eat. That's it. He needs a school bag and trainers but won't come out to the shops and is refusing a haircut.

I read an article in the Times health section and they recommended Omega 3 and 6 called Efalex Chewies - wild berry blast 2 capsules a day for 90 days. I have bought them but they are £5 for 30 so it is going to be expensive but I'll try anything. They suggest after 90 days dropping him to one a day. The hardest part is getting him to keep them in his mouth. I got them in a big Tesco, had been looking around for them for ages.

I am actually getting to the point some days of wishing he would go and live somewhere else and then other days he is cuddly and sweet and kind.

[honeychild]

Interesting about the Efalex. One of his friends has been taking a similar supplement, which was recommended as he had mild ADHD. We saw him recently for the first time in about 6 months and the change in him was really startling. Wonder if the supps had anything to do with it.

Anyway, chin up - nearly term time!

[joanna4]

I said to my 12 year old son today- before we went away you had a bad attitude it is like you left it at the door when we went and brought it back in with the suitcases on our return.
It is probably because we had a fab time and he was like a different boy on holiday but no matter what i refuse to dig a pool in the back garden to keep him happy lol.
Guess I too will be a regular on here too.

[nearlythree]

honeychild, there are some good books on siblings, Siblings without Rivalry and Raising Happy BRothers and Sisters. They say it's best to let them sort it out for themselves at that age, with maybe some guidance from you. Might be worth a look?