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Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Teenagers

Depressed daughter

6 replies

AllieV75 · 20/03/2014 21:06

My dd is 15, she had been suffering with low moods for some time but recently told me she has been having suicidal thoughts. I got her into private counselling within days which she says is helping but we've seen little change in her moods and behaviour, it's affecting the whole family and causing arguments between me and my husband. I'm not keen on her taking medication but I'm starting to wonder if it may be the best option. She's been in counselling for 6 weeks, how long should I leave it before going back to the GP? I'm at my wits end. Any advice gratefully received.

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anthropology · 20/03/2014 21:37

I'm afraid there is no quick fix to depression but with the right support and treatment, for most teens and families, things do get better eventually, honestly. Mental illness, like any other illness does affect everyone but added stress in the household might make her feel worse about herself , if she feels she is causing it.

Medication can sometimes help but it can also have side effects, so it should be approached with caution and expert professional advice. GPS should, in my opinion, not prescribe anti depressants to under 16s, that should be done via a referral to camhs and a psychiatrist and any medication should accompany regular talking therapies. If she is still having suicidal thoughts, I would pursue NHS referrals alongside the private counsellor who might be also be able to give you an indication of what additional support your daughter might need. Well done for finding her some form of professional support so quickly.

Its very difficult to comprehend when your child feels this bad, I know, and she might not even understand herself why she does, but she can't help it, she is ill. It sometimes helps for family members to understand it is an illness from which she can recover, and suggest they can help - show them websites like young minds for example. For siblings it is difficult to protect them and its important that they can get on with life as normally as possilbe . My advice, if you are struggling to hold it together, is to ask your GP for CBT for you. I found it very helpful .

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jcoates · 20/03/2014 22:35

I know exactly what your going through. My daughter is 13 and in a very deep depression. She is not eating properly, completely withdrawn, self harming and seems to have lost all interest in everything. Her Gp has referred her to CAMH but there is a huge waiting list. So now we're playing the waiting game. To make things worse she finds school too much to cope with. Her school is being very understanding and supportive. I just feel so helpless, I just dont know what else I can do to help her

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anthropology · 21/03/2014 20:42

jcoates. Im sorry to hear camhs access is harder than ever, although we only got camhs access via A and E. Other posters have mentioned Relate now offer teen counselling.. Can you get school to write to camhs too ? Is it worth getting an ed psych assessment ? (wisc 4) if she is not coping with school. In bright teens, mild learning difficulties are often only revealed at this age. My DDs assessment revealed some ASD traits and memory processing issues, completely missed by us and schools, which certainly contributed to her struggle to cope. would you consider a few sessions with a private psychotherapist, to assess her ? We have had to do this when there have been huge gaps in camhs. At least she will be monitored. I really hope you get professional support soon .

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SWK70 · 26/05/2014 14:56

Am in the same boat with my 15yr old daughter. She is attending CBT with CAMHS . She is refusing to engage with any health professionals, saying that what's in her head is private. Don't know what to do to help her. IRS just awful knowing that your child is hurting so bad and you can't seem to help

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SWK70 · 26/05/2014 14:57

Am in the same boat with my 15yr old daughter. She is attending CBT with CAMHS . She is refusing to engage with any health professionals, saying that what's in her head is private. Don't know what to do to help her. IRS just awful knowing that your child is hurting so bad and you can't seem to help

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heyday · 03/06/2014 11:09

Teenage years can be a nightmare and when depression is added to the mix it becomes almost toxic. All I can recommend to anyone with a child experiencing depression is to try and get them to eat as well as possible, try to encourage them to get some exercise/fresh air even if it's only for ten minutes a day, try to keep everyday life as normal as possible although I know how tough this can be. There are so many therapies and therapists available nowadays and it's important that the young person feels some sort of connection with the therapist or else very little progress is likely to be made. The charity Young Minds specialises in child and young adolescent mental health issues, (can be found through search engine) they have lots of good advise and email, phone advisors who can really help. Young people are under such enormous pressure nowadays and mental health problems amongst the younger generation are rising at an alarming rate. Depression can often be a life long battle for some people so it's good to get advice/support for yourselves as carers as well as for the young person as it's a tough illness to deal with for all concerned.

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