He's not my son, he's my brother. Mum is dead, brother has been living near to dad (after a long estrangement) for a year. He started off living with dad but moved out because he couldn't get on with dad and sm. He is now on his way back to this part of the country. The only family he has here are my sister and I. I know he will try and move in with my sister because he can bully her and she feels sorry for him.
He is (only just) 20 years old.
He is chronically lazy, like won't get up till 4pm but won't go to bed until 4am either.
He is a compulsive liar, has been for a loooong time.
Workshy, had a job but was fired after not turning up for work repeatedly.
In the past he has stolen money from my sister, my mum (when alive) and from the place my dh worked, therefore I don't trust him as far as I could throw him.
I strongly suspect some drug use may be involved. He smokes cigarettes but has history of also smoking cannabis (from back when mum was alive - don't know about anything more recent but again, I don't trust him).
He has a strange aversion to washing - himself or his clothes, which is highly unpleasant.
Has been prone to violent outbursts in the past.
He sounds like a very unpleasant character I know, however at the back of my mind I can't help feel sorry for him. He was the one who found mum's body when he was 18. Dad disappeared when my brother was very young. Mum had mental health and alcohol dependency problems, which got really bad when he was about 10 and never got any better. I know he has had a shit life and the people who were supposed to look after him failed him, however my sister and I both had an equally shit start in life but we're doing ok. I don't know what to do to fix him.
Why do I feel like I owe him my time and energy when I already know he will give nothing back?
I wish there was someway to make him better. I think he is showing some of the same issues as mum had and I am afraid he will commit suicide one day.
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If this was your son what would you do?
3 replies
MarianneEnjolras · 25/02/2014 20:42
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