House like a Christmas tree - any point in talking to ds about it?

[ILoveAFullFridge]

Ds1 and his friend passed through the house to drop their school stuff off, grab some things they needed for a project, and dashed off again. I was out fetching ds2. I come back to find the house lit up like a Christmas tree, virtually every room including rooms which they had no reason to enter (the study, dd's bedroom), no curtains drawn, toys on ds2's bedroom floor (which had not been there this morning).

They are due back any time now.

Is there any point in talking to ds1 about this? And, if I do, should it wait until his friend goes home after supper tonight?

[ILoveAFullFridge]

They're 13.

[tinsletits]

I have teens too. To me telling them to not leave the house in a state is a daily event. Even so, I still say it. Better still remove keys and let them wait until you get in.

[Quenna]

Yes def. wait til friend has gone. Mention it gently. Is not end of world. I have 3 teens and this is daily occurrence... All lights on, stuff everywhere, fridge ransacked. It's annoying but they are good kids really. Could be worse.

(When I was that age I always turned all the lights on when I got home. I was nervous of being in a dark house).

[YoureBeingASillyBilly]

No dont mention it- that will solve the problem better than mentioning it will.

[ILoveAFullFridge]

SillyBilly please explain

Quenna completely understand darkness thing, I was just the same, but not ds - he does not understand the sort of fear that comes out of your own head!

[YoureBeingASillyBilly]

Well i was being a bit cheeky about saying that unless you expect him to read your mind then of course you should mention it to him, otherwise how will he know it's something that needs to not happen again?

[Travelledtheworld]

Show him the electricity bill and explain the need to conserve energy !

[specialsubject]

yes, after his mate has gone. One day he will realise that electricity does not come out of a hole in the wall.

[youaretooyoung97]

Maybe a chat and a few questions? Chances are he'll be honest, it's nothing too serious, luckily!

[ILoveAFullFridge]

I half-expected you to say not to bother, that this was what teenagers were like, that I wouldn't achieve anything, etc.

I did talk with ds later that evening, after his friend had gone home. Turns out his friend had been roaming around the house, exploring, while ds was printing out something they needed.

I explained to ds that (a) rummaging in your host's house was very rude, and that I expected him to behave better than that when he himself was a guest in someone else's home, and (b) when he is responsible for locking up he must make sure lights are off.

I'm glad I went in with questions, rather than tellings-off, because he listened and accepted. Let's see how he behaves! Hopefully, when something more serious comes up, I'll be able to handle it the same way.