my daughter has left home and I dont know what to do

[mary1958]

Today is a bad day, my daughter age 21 is suffering with depression and keeping me awake at nights I have to be up at 5am she woke me at 3.30am I blew my top then I realised it was the 1 year anniversary since her Dad died, I feel bad but won't apologise because I feel she is not considering anyone elses feelings but her own, we walk on glass around her, I got back from work, she had left home I am devastated and worried, I have told her I love her and understand she is suffering but I am her mum not one of her mates I deserve consideration no matter what day it is, she feels unwanted I am hurt that she feels this way, I constantly tell her how much I love her and I thought she believed me, I've told her if I left everytime she upset me my suitcase would be on a yo-yo, I'm not naive I know she is old enough to leave but I cant bear that she thinks I don't want her, if she only knew how much she would feel bad but I won't tell her what it took to keep her when I divorced, I work hard to keep a roof over her head I don't mind she is worth it, Is it wrong to be cross with your child ? should I let her make me so tired I can't work properly.she has never been any trouble to me til we got divorced I've had to deal with her self harming, ups and downs day by day, I feel she should have rules to live by I'm not overstrict she gets away with a lot, as I said to her 'today is a bad day, today I still had to go to work, today is hard for us both but she should choose whether to live her life or let grief take hold' I am her mother not her slave and deserve to be angry. I want my girl back but not for her to walk all over me, she has a stepdad that would move mountains for her but treats him the same way.I can't breathe without her I can't tell my son who is so very close to her whats happened as he will have his own grief to deal with and will risk his job to be at her side (he's in the forces)It's silly but I feel like someone has died I'm so upset at losing her.

[adeucalione]

Several times you use phrases like 'I won't apologise' and 'I can't tell her' but I think that's exactly what you have to do.

As you say, she's old enough to leave home - but not like this. The chances are that she's crashing on a friend's sofa and dying to come home - contact her and say everything you've said to us.

[usualsuspect]

Is she getting any help for her depression?

[DoesntLeftoverTurkeySoupDragOn]

I agree with adeucalione you do need to apologise and tell her things.

You need to have a proper heart to heart talk to your DD

[gamerchick]

It's very hard to support somebody with depression and a self harmer. . Especially as life goes on and are seemingly wrapped up in themselves.

I would leave her for tonight so you both get some space.

Is she getting any help for her depression?

[Anyoneforacheckup]

Do you know where she is and is she contactable by phone?

[Travelledtheworld]

Might help you to have some counselling too, to help sort out your feelings.