I could do with some advice please. My eldest dd is 15 and has only recently past 3 weeks started going out with her best friend (male, same age) . Now i liked this boy well enough when they have been friends over past few years. However he has had his problems over the past couple of years with his family and has consequently ended up in foster care in the past few months. Now my dd has helped him through all this and has told me all that has been happening with him and since being in foster he seems to have calmed down abit (not drinking every night now). So all that is fine. But he has had ALOT of girlfriends in the past year and from the way i have been told it seems he sleeps with them for month then dumps them. Now my dd is very shy (we have always thought she has very mild aspergers as she displays alot of symptoms for it but she had counselling to help control her emotions/actions when she was 11 and that eased it slightly) and although her last boyfriend lasted a year they never did more than kiss. When he finished her on her birthday she was devastated and at that point i put a ban in place and said no boyfriends for a year until her GCSEs were finished as she is looking at 12 above grade C so she has a lot of homework which eats her time up as well as cadets once a week and martial arts 3 times a week plus working there on a Saturday. She has been told any time she wants to drop something just to say (she is dropping cadets after xmas) but all this means she only really has a Sunday where she is free.
Anyway sorry totally off topic there. She left her phone here the other day as she was going to a concert so just took cheap phone we got her so as not to lose hers. while she was out it was constantly binging so i went through to turn off the sound and notice a lot of messages. They seemed quite polite at first just asking if she had thought about having more personal time together, then went to more physical relationship. This got me to do something i never do and went and checked her messages and for about the last 4 days despite her saying she doesn't know what she wants to do with regards as to where the relationship goes and saying she is scared at the thought of going further, he still seems to be pushing the subject. She is very easily lead and is very emotional (cries if she gets an award!) and i don't want her to do something she will regret afterwards. Also i know the sex ed at her school is a joke as 3 girls in her form alone have had/having babies within the past 11 months and a few have had sti's , she does talk to me about all these happening to her friends but she just gets upset if i broach the subject.
I have no idea how to handle this now as i can see him pushing harder and her not wanting to disappoint him by saying no as they have been besties for so long. But from her reaction and her replies to him i don't think she is in a state of mind to decide.
So what do i do? Do i say that i will take her to one of the sexual health clinics so she can discuss with someone there about her decision as well as sorting out contraception just in case? If i do that do i take the pressure off her by telling her until she speaks to someone (within a week probably) then she is banned from spending alone time with him other than in this house.
Sorry for going on so much.
Any advice for this newbie would be helpful please!
At least i will know how to handle all this when my younger dd goes through it.
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Teenagers
15yo seemingly being pushed to do something not ready to
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darkangeleyes98 · 21/11/2013 10:56
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