Our house and (radiators) are heated by a solid fuel burner. For all of my adult life I have fetched and chopped all the wood for it, organising a family work gang to help but doing the brunt of it myself. It's a blessing because I don't have enough money to pay for normal heating.
Over the past 2 years I've developed severe osteoarthritis, osteoporosis and a slipped disc. I've had to give up my work as a gardener and also dancing, which I loved.
So last month I paid my BIL to deliver some logs to us. He did it for a very small amount so I said that DS would be able to carry, split and stack the bigger logs.
This was three weeks ago now and DS has either kept putting it off or refusing to do it. The logs are out on the grass at the front of the house, they need to be carried up 7 seven steps and taken round the back to be split.
I've been managing with an electric radiator in my room and staying in there.
DS is bigger than me and obviously stronger now that I'm debilitated.
I have taken his laptop away for the past three days because he didn't do it last weekend when I was away and he was home alone. He is at college Mon-Weds so today is the day really.
He has been barricading himself in his room. He will employ every tactic known to defer the work (indefinitely). He spent 5 minutes moving some logs an hour ago but came back in saying he wanted to eat first.
I have said no food, no computer, nothing will I provide for him until those logs are moved, split and stacked.
It's probably 2 hrs work and he had breakfast at 11.
My last threat was that when my neighbour's husband gets home I will get him to speak to DS about it. (Said husband is a stocky working man who doesn't suffer fools gladly).
So...any more bright ideas? I have bargained, shouted and made myself upset now.
I just wish I wasn't so fucking broken, I would be happy to do this kind of work.
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DS16 refusing to help. I'm not physically fit enough to do it myself.
CuttedUpPear · 17/10/2013 12:48
Sorry to hear you're having a shit time 
Is there anyone else in the family who could split them for you? If so, then I would sit your DS down, explain that this is impossible for you , and that you have someone else who could split them if he won't. However, if he won't then you will be removing all privileges - money, washing, cooking, everything - but that's not how you would like to live, and put the ball back in his court.
Reporting back!
I went out 15 minutes after my last posting to find, with an unprecedented change of tune, DS laying into the woodpile with some application.
Fantastic. I knew he was capable of this (and damn well should be at his age/size) but it was a matter of him finding the way to it.
All choppable wood was chopped, with DS streaming with manly sweat and going for it like the blazes with the axe. He actually enjoyed it. He is his mother's son, I used to love doing it too.
I consider the Power of MN (TM) to be wholly responsible 
SilverApples that's a sweet thought but unfortunately groundless as this is the way DS has behaved since he was old enough to behave in any way at all. I work with it, work to change it, occasionally am defeated by it but overall hope that he is gaining some maturity and responsibility. He does have some kind of SN but it's undiagnosed and since he has managed to get to college and is now learning a practical skill, I consider that we are round the corner in our mutual struggle with and against the system.
Good for him! Tell him MN is very proud of him 
Actually, probably best not to - if he's anything like my 16 year old he'd die a death knowing he was being talked about on MN
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