SOS! Strategies for surviving DD's 16th for people who have been there?

[casacastille]

In a moment of insanity (possibly involving a Friday night, some wine and DD announcing that she'd done some of her weekend homework), I agreed to her having a 16th birthday party at home.

20 kids
sleepover for those that want to stay/can't get home

I refused to leave her the house overnight (this is apparently the norm around here ) so will be hiding out in my bedroom.

So what have I done wrong already and what rules to I need to set in stone so we don't all end up bearing lifelong grudges?

[casacastille]

obviously I mean from people who have been there...

[casacastille]

What, no one's hosted a 16th birthday party?

[herladyship]

DS had a party at home for his 16th, about 30 teenagers but only 3 boys slept over.. the rest got collected about 12.30 :)

It co-insided with a big sporting event, so they watched that on TV & we had multiple KFC buckets delivered! No-one was allowed to bring alcohol, but we provided some beer & cider (not enough to get legless!) & lots of J20 type drinks

I hid out at my parents around corner & walked past at hourly intervals

they got hungry again about 11pm & all put in money for 5 takeaway pizzas to be delivered!

Friends said we were mad, and that our house would be trashed etc. but I'm so glad we trusted him.. The mess next morning was epic but he did most of the cleaning up.

What are dd's friends like? We knew most of the kids/parents which helped I think..

[casacastille]

at 30 teenagers! But glad it was a success.

I don't know all of DD's friends but she assures me that they are all civilised and not binge drinkers and won't trash the place. Not sure about providing alcohol. I'm worried they'll smuggle vodka in and it'll all go horribly wrong.

I should specify absolutely no spirits to DD so there is no room for doubt.

I want to trust them...

[Rascalls3]

We had a similar sized event for my twin dd's 17th/New year party. Was very insistent that no more than 20 allowed(several teens invited wanted to bring other friends) Obviously not on Face Book etc. It helped that we are off the beaten track.
Went to friends for evening but popped by regularly and cooked pizzas etc( to soak up alcohol!) late evening.
Our main problem was that they all kept going outside and walked mud back indoors. I got very cross when I saw lots of mud on new stair carpet and banned shoes inside. Result: they removed shoes and walked around in wet,muddy socks!!!
One beer spilt on leather sofa (want to add sad smilie but can't workout how to do that on new iPad)
One very drunk/vomiting lad. His mum dropped him off,was really lovely and said they had had a chat about sensible drinking. She was REALLY embarrassed when she was later called to come and collect him! Apparently there is ALWAYS one drunk at every party I was later told by DDs!
The majority of guests were lovely,respectful and polite. My DDs had a great time and I would do it again. Do expect alcohol to be brought in. Put notices up on any rooms you don't want them to go into ( ie bedrooms). We found that our teens did take note of these. We had about 3/4 sleeping over in lounge / sunroom- mixture of boys and girls.
I hope your party goes well.

[Stricnine]

We also had a fairly successful (16 and a half) party .. wasn't really for any particular reason, just worked out that way - we went out about 6pm for a meal & cinema (a real treat!!) and came back shortly after 11:30 - at which point most teenagers disappeared and went home .. a few stayed over - mainly prearranged and 'cos they'd missed last train/bus etc..

All fairly well behaved - there was alcohol, but not to silly levels, no one was ill :) ... although they did play Twister in the dark in the garden which may have been interesting!!

A degree of mess, sticky floor etc, but on the whole no major issues ... Junior Stricnine had specified no go areas herself and everyone followed the rules...

Good luck !!

[pinkbraces]

About three weeks ago my DSD had her 17th party at home, it was a fancy dress party, Disney themed. A great time was had by all, including her grandparents who came as Alice and the Mad Hatter . Which was surprise to all.

She had about 35 friends, almost equal numbers of girls and boys, lasted until about midnight when they all went clubbing. We had some alcohol, but everyone was fine, lots of soft drinks,sweets, cake etc.

My inlaws were under the impression that the girls were all very healthy as they were walking around with bottles of water - I had to tell them it was probably vodka in the bottles and not water!

We cleared the room, of soft furnishings and rugs, had a gazebo in the garden - there was some mess but not much.

It was a great party.

[casacastille]

Great, more good ones!

What did you all do about chairs & sofas? Mine are all fabric upholstered, and one has fixed covers so am a bit concerned about spillages

We're providing pizzas, soft drinks, sweets. Beer, or not? Not sure I should be encouraging underage drinking even if I know they all do it...?

[teenagetantrums]

I have let mine have parties before, I recommend moving valuables to your room, blankets or old duvet covers on sofas, they will drink so provide some and say no sprits.(you may want to check with parents before you do this) As to food pizza is great, get it delivered, no crisps or rubbish they will great dropped, or thrown and be everywhere. make sure everyone knows party ends at whatever time, if they are sleeping over be prepared for no sleep. there will always be one drunk idiot whos mum you will need to call. if you have the space i would have a grown up event in the next room, makes them behave better. My Dd is lobbying for a 17th birthday party in a few weeks, we will see im over teenage parties now.

[Landofmyfathers]

My 16y dd has had 2 parties and no disasters. I did provide some alcohol, calculated on basis of no more than 2 drinks per person and nothing stronger than 4%. Stern message of no alcohol to be brought which seemed to be followed. I hid upstairs, more to be on hand in case of any problems. Oh and I put all our alcohol in garage and made sure I kept hold of key. The worst thing was popcorn that went everywhere and a bit of mess on carpet.
The second party was because we were moving away and the kids were all so sweet and one of the boys did a little speech ( I watched from upstairs window!)
No sleepover, out the door at 11pm (mainly for benefit of poor parents who have to taxi them home and neighbours because of reasonably loud music). Although the second party finish time did mysteriously become 11.30. I was told that "Facebook does that sometimes". Hmmm.

[bakehouse]

We've recently had DS 18th and DD1 16th birthday parties at home. We had no major problems with either party apart from a few crying girls at DDs and someone sick in the bathroom sink at DS's and a very sticky floor at the end of both! We have had our alcohol stolen at parties before so definitely hide that, they always go for the vodka!! And keep them out of the bedrooms, we don't let them go upstairs at all and confine them to the open plan kitchen diner and the garden. DDs party ended at 11.30 and DSs at 12 when we turned the music off. One thing though, surely they all go to pre drinks somewhere else and have a skinful before they arrive even if you insist on no alcohol being brought in? That's certainly our experience, even with a party for our DD2 whos 14? Good luck!

[casacastille]

Thank you

I'd really really rather dispatch them all at midnight but that's not the done thing round here - most sleep over. Parents don't seem to mind - DD has been to plenty of parties where the parents clear off and come back the next morning! No way am I doing that. And they aren't keen to come out and pick them up at 12 .

Had planned to remove my big rug, DS's toys and my booze, not that there's much and no vodka anyway, and I will lock 2 bedrooms leaving 2 for those sleeping over, though most will crash downstairs on the (sticky?!) floor I hope.

DD swears they are all civilised and hasn't invited anyone likely to get steaming drunk... so she says. I so want that to be true!

[NoComet]

This is one of those threads that make you very happy that DD1's best friends are two private school girls, a year older, who are unbelievably nice and responsible (their parents would never allow anything else).

I expect DD1's 16th will be, cinema/theatre and or a meal, followed by a sleep over which I'm happy to allow wine/cider or beer at, but I bet no more than a glass or two each would get drunk.

It's DD2(12)'s parties I'm not looking forward to, as she got older. They woke me up at 3.30 am this year!

[bakehouse]

Sorry Casacastille, should have explained what I meant with the sticky floor! Combination of a lot of spilt drinks mixed with dirt trodden in from outdoors - luckily floors are all wood downstairs, a carpet would have been ruined. Had to mop it six times before it looked back to normal! :-)

[witchofmiddx]

Spare a thought for me op. This sat night, 100+ teenagers will be descending on our home for dd's 16th. A Dj in marquee, bouncers on door ready to confiscate all vodka/weed, & me and dh hiding in bedroom. Wish I could wake up and it would be Monday.

[casacastille]

What?! Are you INSANE?!

(and can I borrow your bouncers afterwards?)