This is going to be complicated...
For three years I've been coping with a teen (now 16) with emotional dysregulation disorder, who has panic attacks.
The stress of this (and other factors) has resulted in my relationship of 20yrs falling apart, but we have to live together until December & not tell the kids because the 16yr old is on trial at college which we can't risk as she's been out of education for the last 3 years (!). She will not cope well when we drop the bombshell that we're separating.
This morning there has been two hours of screaming, crying and insulting. This happens regularly and I don't think I want to cope any longer. In fact I'm scared of what I might do to myself.
I'm hoping that by putting it in writing I will stop the thoughts of suicide. I can't live like this any longer, I don't want to live with her in my face telling me what a bitch I am and threatening to hurt me. The only thing that keeps me putting one foot in front of the other is my other child (14yrs) who also suffers because of the monster that we've created.
I know I will get lots of replies about boundaries, but unless you've lived with a child with emotional dysregulation disorder please understand that boundaries are impossible to implement. My main aim is to keep her safe & alive. This is more about how I can keep myself safe & alive because right now I'm scared and I want out.
I have texted two people this morning in the hope that they will help but had no replies. Dh checked in on me after dropping dd at college but left for work & I couldn't tell him that I was scared.
I think I need coping strategies.
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40 replies
Zarqoun · 18/09/2013 10:17
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