Took DS13 door off his bedroom earlier....

(89 Posts)
louby44 Sun 15-Sep-13 14:42:59

after repeatedly slamming it (on purpose)..... I have been threatening to do it all week.

He went crazy because his brother wouldn't let him play on his Playstation. Angry, insolent, defiant, really rude. So I took the door off.

He then packed a bag and went off on his bike! He's now at his dads (we're divorced) and the remainder of the day has been peaceful.

He has loads of homework and food tech to sort out but I'm dreading him coming home!

AllDirections Tue 08-Oct-13 20:41:25

My teens try to slam their doors but we live in an old house with doors that don't fit properly so the 'slam' factor just isn't there although they do try.

DD1 used to repeatedly slam her door in a previous house. Think slam, open, slam, open, slam, open, etc. etc. Obviously for maximum effect. I wouldn't have taken her door off because it's too much effort but I did warn her that if the slamming brought the door off it wouldn't be getting fixed.

I don't see how anyone can have a problem with taking the door off as a consequence for slamming the door. And the privacy thing doesn't work, what about DC who have to share?

FiftyShadesofGreyMatter Tue 08-Oct-13 20:22:43

"Dd1 once slammed her door so hard that the catch stuck and she was locked in her room."

^ Oh yes this happen in our house too! Poor dd who was only about 8 IIRC panicked when she couldn't get out!

She never slammed a door again grin

cory Wed 02-Oct-13 09:05:09

As a random punishment I wouldn't think it great. As a direct consequence of inappropriate handling of the door, I think it is perfectly appropriate.

If ds kicks his football in the kitchen among the crockery, I take it off him. If he keeps playing his music late at night and disturbing us and the neighbours, I would take his radio off him. We have a right to consideration too; either he learns to control his behaviour or somebody else will have to control his physical environment.

Julia, we do have posters on MN who are physically intimidated by their own teenagers, because (as you say) they cannot control their own emotions. So if they get emotional they feel free to hit their parent or break their property because (as you say) they cannot control their emotions. It is a horrible way to live, and if there are younger siblings I would go as far as calling it abusive. Somebody who is almost adult size needs to learn to control themselves to some extent so as not to intimidate other people.

Of course door slamming is far less serious, but it is still very unpleasant for the rest of the family to have to live with. I think it's perfectly ok to say "we shouldn't have to put up with this and we aren't going to: either you put an end to the slamming or we remove the door".

wanderings Tue 01-Oct-13 21:27:31

"please excuse Ds from gym as he has his period today."

grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin

dementedma Thu 26-Sep-13 22:50:12

A friends Ds was constantly avoiding gym lessons and lying about it. Once she discovered how much he had been lying about it, the next time he asked for an excuse note she said fine and gave him one in a sealed envelope. It said "please excuse Ds from gym as he has his period today."
He didn't ask for any more notes after that

My mum tried to do this. Problem is she's tiny (5ft) and quite weak. No one else to do it for her as I am ages away and so on. So she ended up telling him to take his own door off hmm

Possibly due to past experiences, need for privacy... it kinda makes sense.

Dss (10) has taken the boys bedroom door off its hinges by slamming it. Ds (9, on bottom bunk) is deeply unamused as the dog now has free access to bounce on him. Lord help us when all 4 are teens!

JuliaScurr Wed 25-Sep-13 10:13:32

I'm interested in parsnip saying it's not allowed with foster children. Presumably for a good reason.

louby44 Mon 23-Sep-13 20:10:52

Two weeks later and NO door slamming has happened...yet!

VanitasVanitatum Mon 23-Sep-13 16:08:44

Julia teenagers can learn to manage their emotions, and surely part of a parent's responsibility is to help them with this? Surely you aren't suggesting that the parents who have used this method playing power games?!? It is perfectly apparent that they are caring parents trying to do the best for their children.

Things like this when I was a teen certainly helped me think about consequences, the effect of my actions on others, and whether the way I acted was fair to my family.

JuliaScurr Mon 23-Sep-13 15:50:03

They slam and shout because they are frustrated and can't manage their emotions. In 5 - 10 years they will be in control of their own lives - including what kind of relationship they have with you. Exercise your power now by all means - but remember the pendulum will swing to them in a few years. They might adopt the same games then.

JakeBullet Mon 23-Sep-13 15:16:23

A good friend of mine has put in long screws to reinforce the door frame round DS's bedroom door grin. He is an amazing door slammer.....and is only 10! He is autistic so has some mitigating circumstances but even so....

bigTillyMint Mon 23-Sep-13 15:12:27

Heath grin

Heath27 Mon 23-Sep-13 14:56:16

Friend of mines DH sawed off the legs of their DD15 wooden bed after repeatedly finding dirty clothes/plates/cups under it lol, she was warned plenty times grin

lljkk Tue 17-Sep-13 08:49:50

lol

alistron1 Mon 16-Sep-13 21:29:58

Dd1 once slammed her door so hard that the catch stuck and she was locked in her room. It still makes me snigger. She went from ranty to contrite with remarkable speed.

Mynewmoniker Mon 16-Sep-13 20:40:26

Perhaps he read the thread, louby44 and knew what was coming eh? wink

louby44 Mon 16-Sep-13 19:17:08

Mynewmoniker I have just laughed out loud at your post, Sooo funny!

He has been lovely so far this morning and is now making a cake that he made at school this morning.

BUT his brother is away this week on camp with school so it will be peaceful till Friday!

I do that with the note as well.
"Tantrums ds1 did not do his homework because he was playing football and couldn't be bothered to do it"

"Tantrums ds1 cannot do PE because even after he was reminded 3 times to sort out his kit, he did not. And he cannot be bothered to look for it this morning"

"Tantrums ds1 does not have his cookery ingredients because he failed to mention he needed them until 7:15am this morning and he does not want to go to tesco to buy them on the way to school"

Works a treat.

He doesn't even bother to ask me to write a note any more grin

MummyPigsFatTummy Mon 16-Sep-13 10:14:33

DD(3) already slams doors occasionally when we have outraged her in some way, at the same time informing us very loudly that we are no longer her friends.

It is sort of funny now (although we don't let her know obv), but I absolutely cannot wait for the teenage years hmm (and will keep the door-removal strategy at the back of my mind).

Parsnipcake Mon 16-Sep-13 09:59:55

I am not allowed to take doors off with foster children do I charge them £1 for each slam and donate it to 'shelter' - to help people who don't have a door, let alone one to slam.

jeee Mon 16-Sep-13 09:53:57

But if there's no door, you have to see the hell-pit that your teenager inhabits. Which would be a nightmare.

halfthesize Mon 16-Sep-13 09:51:20

Katy fab idea re note in homework book smile

halfthesize Mon 16-Sep-13 09:49:53

I have to Remus I think its a great punishment and works, its not like we are making them undress in public or hitting them!! Perhaps if your DC had slammed doors you would feel differently.
At the end of the day its what ever works for you and I have to say on the back of DD punishment my younger 2 DC have never slammed doors either grin

NoComet Mon 16-Sep-13 09:33:36

It's tempting unfortunately their stupid bus leaves so early removing the bulb would have her getting dressed in the dark, for part of the year.

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