Ive namechanged for this as details could out me in RL.
DD is 18 and in the final year at school here in Australia. She broke down the other morning in tears, feeling so sad and useless. I've kept her at home today, and taken time off work to talk to her when she was ready.
It's better if I make a list.
- She hates her body and wants to lose weight. Eats crisps, etc. Will not exercise.
- She wants a part-time job, yet does little to get one. Resists every effort on our part to help, e.g. driving her round to take in CVs personally. Will not follow up on applications by personal visits, as "they won't work". Work is not easy to come by so a real and persistent effort is needed. All this after asking for help from us. We've also said to consider working during exams year, to concentrate on study, to simplify her life, but this has been knocked back.
- She's afraid of not doing well in her exams, even though she is doing well. She wants to do extra practices with me, then turns down any I offer.
- She wants a boyfriend and doesn't have one.
- She's variously shown interest in teaching, social work and nursing, but when given info about them by us, gets sad and angry that we disapprove. We don't, but know the ups and downs of these jobs, and felt we should say so, e.g. if you're out of nursing for 10 years in Oz, you have to do the degree again; general nursing is no longer in demand in the UK. What she is rather good at is Art, but she is afraid of not having work when she finishes her degree. Money is a big focus for her. We are comfortably off and one day she will have it all, but she worries terribly.
- She wants to go to uni in the city, then organises open days in the sticks. When we point this out, it's our fault.
She seems mired in endlessly going round in circles, refusing all solutions, or going to do things "tomorrow", never doing them, then hating herself for it. I should say she's sad rather than petulant, but I feel desperate. I've thought of counselling, where she can speak to a dispassionate person, but she refuses the one at her school, though I'm looking into the one at our doctor's practice.
What to do? I'm at my wits' end.
I'm aware that this post seems quite analytical, but the problems are so intertwined that numbering them seemed the best way of making order from the chaos.