DS, 17, tethered to his computer. Rarely off it - says it's necessary for school work and, when he's not doing that, says he's talking to friends, playing games etc. Doesn't see friends outside school hours and hardly ever goes out of his own accord. His life revolves round this computer. Boy, have I tried to get him off it - I've spoken to school who say, properly quite correctly, that he can do a great deal of his work from notes and books. But DS fights me and fights me over this - frankly, for several years it has been hell. I am exhausted.
When, as a last resort, I showed him a letter from the elec co threatening disconnection as we can barely meet our elec bills (they say our usage is way over the top for a smallish house) - he was upset and seemed to really understand that his dependency on the computer has gone on long enough.
But his assurances that he would severely limit his time haven't materialised - he's now back to round the clock (bar school and sleeping) use. When I take the internet connection away, he phones me at work to insist that he needs it for eg homework - I give in and he's in again until 11pm or later.
I must sound so weak. So stupid. But his behaviour is such that I get so emotionally and physically drained and give in - He gets hostile, cold - it's nasty stuff.
Other DS holiday from Uni, making far too little effort to find work - and he's taken on a full rent from June. I'm having to pay it month by month or else he and his co-tenant would be slung out. He made an unwise, hasty choice (not for the first time) and I'm wondering how we'll manage until his loan is in. DH and I don't earn much and we have enough to do to pay our mortgage and bills - Have helped DS all I can with his CV and job hunting - the rest is up to him and although I know the temporary work climate is harsh, there are jobs (eg fast food outlets but he says he doesn't like them - the smell etc) locally or in surrounding towns. He could make a real contribution towards his Summer rent - and have money in the bag for next term. And have time to see friends and study.
So - here we are - two budget conscious parents who have perhaps done too much for these boys. Is it too late? It can't be - I'm so tired - full time work and a shed load of money worries. Words of encouragement/tough love advice - anything, please!
Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.
Teenagers
DSs: causing us real financial difficulty
Fiona24 · 06/07/2013 19:03
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