My 18 yr old son dropped out of school after Christmas before completing his A levels and Btec 3. I'm separated from his father, with whom DS has no real relationship with and refuses to visit (even though he only lives down the road). My ex still gives me a voluntary allowance for our son but is planning to stop this now that he is 18, which is what we agreed when we separated.
This means that it will be just me supporting DS (I have a 16 yr old DD too, who is delightful) and I will find, am finding, it very difficult financially.
I work everyday, am self employed, but only bring in just enough to manage week to week.
My son will not work and will not sign on. He has the run of the house, unlimited access to the food cupboard and fridge yet moans continuously that there is no food for him to eat. (no food means no flat, square boxes in the fridge!)
He had the use of my old studio in the garden to play his guitar and drums, with heating and electrics. He now has mates in the studio most evenings, drinking and smoking fags and weed (insists he doesn't but I can smell it - he says I don't have a clue, that I'm old, 57, and out of touch, but I know the smell of weed..); he also has band practice in there twice a week. Neighbours have complained a couple of times about the drums.
He will take food to the studio or his bedroom, and all my china, cups and cutlery keep disappearing. This weekend we had no bowls, spoons or forks left! Then moaned like hell when I asked him to fetch them to be washed up (...by me!)
He does absolutely nothing in the house - no washing up, tidying or cleaning up the kitchen behind himself and will leave his revolting skidmarks all down the toilet, refusing to clean it. His bedroom is a shit hole - strewn with clothes, 'used' tissue, guitar magazines, art materials and china/left over food - it's knee deep in places.
Yet he has the gaul to keep asking me for money - to go to the pub, to pay his mates some petrol money(ha!), to pay someone back, etc, etc.
He'll mow the lawn occasionally, and I'm stupid enough to pay him a tenner, but he's always asking me for more and tells me how bad a mother I am for not giving him any. More often than not I give in and hand him a fiver just to get him off my back. I know I'm a mug and I know what a lot of you might say, but there are times when there is just a glimmer of niceness and we have a decent conversation, and I think OK you are not a bad lad, but I only have to say one thing out of place and he starts yelling and telling me to shut up.
This is such a long post - sorry - but just wondered if anyone has any suggestions how I insist he finds work, or signs on, therefore getting him out of the house during the day and earning his own money and contributing towards his keep? How do I get him to show more respect for me and my home?
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Teenagers
18 yr old son shows no respect
38 replies
willotess · 23/06/2013 23:34
OP posts:
Jimalfie ·
25/06/2013 09:16
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