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Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Teenagers

eighteen

14 replies

channy54321 · 26/04/2013 18:25

when should you stop giving cash to your 18 yr old?

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mrscumberbatch · 26/04/2013 18:28

Depends.

Do they have a job? College? Uni? Other???

Do they do anything for you around the house?

Can you afford to?

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Beamur · 26/04/2013 18:31

My PIL still give my DP money! He's a bit past 18 Grin
Our own 18+ kids are still in full time education so will still need financial support for a few more years.
If I had spare, I wouldn't begrudge my kids if they needed it more.

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BackforGood · 26/04/2013 23:14

Agree with others - depends both on your financial situation, and what they are doing. So, for example when my dd2 gets to 18, she will still have a year ahead of her at school, so I suspect I'll keep up with the pocket money until the end of 6th form, and then it would depend on finances as to how much I could help at University (if she goes)

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flow4 · 27/04/2013 01:19

My DS1 turned 18 last week. I have stopped giving him money because I want to motivate him to look for a p/t job. He's on a full-time course but it only actually takes up 2.5 days of his time each week, so he has plenty of time available. The other 4.5 days per week are taken up socialising and playing on his PS3.

I reckon the experience would be very good for him, and tbh, while I've been giving him 'money for nothing' it is obvious he has had no motivation to work. Hmm

If he got a course that required more work, or decided to study harder, I'd reconsider.

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channy54321 · 27/04/2013 02:31

exactly ny situation flow4

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noddyholder · 27/04/2013 12:28

Me too flow4 annoying

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BackforGood · 27/04/2013 18:33

But my thinking is, if I stopped giving my (16yr old) ds his (very small amount, according to MN standards) of pocket money each month when he first started working, then there's less incentive to get a job as he wouldn't actually be that much better off

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flow4 · 27/04/2013 19:01

At 16, I think it's much more reasonable still to be giving an allowance. But at 18, he is legally an adult, and old fogey youth of today alert he is 4 years older than I was when I last got cash from my (relatively wealthy, North London) parents. So I have now stopped giving him anything, unless I happen to have jobs that need doing that I might otherwise pay someone to do (e.g. cleaning above and beyond his fair share).

In a few weeks (I'm hoping) earning £30 won't look like just a tenner more than the £20 he's been used to, but £30 more than nothing. Grin

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Beamur · 29/04/2013 18:50

I've made it clear to the older kids than we will give them money while they are at Uni - for food etc - but it won't be given during the holidays when I would expect them to try and get a job.

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channy54321 · 30/04/2013 07:49

he expects money every day about about 4 pound a day plus extra at the weekends ,he's only at college 3 days per week which is full time,iv told him he has to look for a job ,my foot is firmly down this time I feel im being to harsh ,but he's git to have motivation to look for work and stop using me as a cash machine Sad

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mrsjay · 30/04/2013 09:46

I insisted dd got a job when i discovered her full time course at college was 2 and a half days a week sometimes 3 , she is 20 now and works at the weekends and takes extra in the holidays, she still lives at home so we feed her do her washing etc etc, her money is her own except her car insurance which she is paying back, imo if they have left school then they can get a bloody job or make an effort to

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mrsjay · 30/04/2013 09:47

before dd got her job I was giving her train fare lunch money and buying her clothes she was almost 20 quid a day travelling

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mayihaveaboxofchoculaits · 30/04/2013 09:56

£70 month, transport and meals outside the house.

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channy54321 · 30/04/2013 11:52

thanks ppl thought I was being too tough x

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