Advice on DS2 (17) please.

[Jelly15]

DS2 is a nice plesant lad but very lazy. His bedroom is a tip and he has always done the minimum to get by. He got Bs and Cs at GCSEs without making any effort. He did badly at AS level and the school has just phoned me to say they are concerned as he is not making enough of an effort and has missed handing in work. He has a place at college in Sept but DH says there is no point as he will just waste another two years.

I am begining to agree with DH but there is not much around. We have given him chance after chance to make more of an effort in the last two years but it is all just empty promises. Should we stop him going to college and try to find a job? What more can we do to get his a**e into gear.

He is causing rows at home and DH and I are arguing.

[BastardDog]

In your shoes I wouldn't try and stop him doing college if that is what he wants. I would withdraw all financial support though if he chooses to go to college and then just messes around.

[havenlady]

I feel for you, we struggle with our DS too. Is the college a different type of course? He may respond better than to A levels, and find the motivation he needs. I would agree about withdrawing financial support if he doesn't start working. Try getting him to see getting an education and applying himself is his "job", and that's why you are supporting him financially.
In the end he may need to find out the hard way that no qualifications = crap job (try Primark!!). It's not easy and I can see how it causes strife, but remember he is his own person, making his own choices, however poor - just so painful to watch it happen.