Friends for my lovely dd

(19 Posts)
musicposy Sat 09-Feb-13 22:13:46

I suspect you are further east than us if you are in a part of W Sussex where high school transition is at 13 - but only by about 20 miles smile

musicposy Sat 09-Feb-13 22:11:26

We may be able to help. smile

My DD is 13, home educated as was never a good fit for school (came out of school at 8). We have long suspected she is borderline aspergers. Have talked with her lots of times about getting a dx but she feels happy without at the moment, worrying that a "label" will make people treat her differently.

She has some lovely home ed friends now -she's at a sleepover tonight for a friend's 13th birthday - but I've had a lot of the same worries as you over the years. And I know she would still struggle socially if she were in school.

We are in West Sussex smile

Only thing I would say, she's not a very typical 13 year old girl if that makes sense! I think she's emotionally quite young for her age. She likes computer games (current obsession Skylanders), maths, science, things she can order and make sense of. I don't know if you are looking for a more typical 13 year old girl! Like your DD she has singing lessons. She's into music and drama too and goes to dance and theatre classes.

She has a couple of friends she writes to. She says she knows this is very old-fashioned as those same friends are on facebook with her but it's something she seems to enjoy and she likes getting letters through the post! Maybe they would like to write at first and see how they get on. PM me if you are interested.

Virtuallyarts Tue 05-Feb-13 22:23:11

Oh and i meant to add - my sympathies, this must be so upsetting for you and dd. do you think it's worth going back to school - ask what is their policy for dealing with this type of situation?

Virtuallyarts Tue 05-Feb-13 22:09:06

Have you asked the school whether they can do anything to promote friendships with some other likely girls? By putting them in groups for projects and so on, or inviting them to join a particular club?

Another suggestion - are there any teen voluntary groups near you? Clearing canals, maintaining riversides, that type of thing - based on something active like that might be a good way of making friends slowly?

Sorry we are not in west sussex!But it is a very good idea - like meet a mum, but 'meet a friend' - why not, esp with parents around to keep it safe?

thornrose Mon 04-Feb-13 19:17:16

Sorry to bump.....

thornrose Mon 04-Feb-13 16:56:21

I'll have a look stars, thanks.

starsandunicorns Mon 04-Feb-13 15:14:50

Oh bless her heart please check out the sea air army cadets as they will give her self estem ( sp) and working in a team etc i used to voluter ( sp) at army cadets and it is good fun for all it will build her up as a female instrustor i used to do the weekends away and the older ones would always inculde the younger newer ones. Middle school to high school is a hard transtion i didnt do it but family members did and found it hard

thornrose Mon 04-Feb-13 14:57:49

Stars, she is crying out for friends and it breaks my heart. She is such fun and very loyal, she just needs a chance.

thornrose Mon 04-Feb-13 14:55:46

She goes to singing lessons and guides at the moment. She had a nice little group of friends who had sleepovers and stuff (always at mine admittedly) but she just became too needy for them at school. Mainly due to the shock of transition from middle school!
I've seen her at home with friends and its completely different to how she is at school.

starsandunicorns Mon 04-Feb-13 14:51:38

Oh thornrose my heart goes out to you you sound fab i cant help you but hope someone will smile ( wish my mum had done somthing simlar instead of saying you dont need friends) is there any local clubs that she could join near by she old enough to do sea scouts etc

Sparklingbrook Mon 04-Feb-13 14:50:16

DS isn't very good with his communication skills, hates using the phone and actually speaking to people. He still wants me to ring the friend's parents and organise stuff. He is getting slightly better, but it is horrible to see.

Does she do any after school stuff?

thornrose Mon 04-Feb-13 14:46:58

Sparkling this was triggered by a solitary weekend and the usual horrendous Monday morning, she is just so lonely bless her heart.

Sparklingbrook Mon 04-Feb-13 14:45:08

Thorn what a lovely thing to do. I have a 13 year old DS, but nowhere near you. sad

He had problems after starting high school with friendships and other stuff. he moved schools in the end.

AmandaPayne Mon 04-Feb-13 14:42:23

And convos obviously. Bloody spell check.

thornrose Mon 04-Feb-13 14:41:46

Oh god, thanks,I was scared I came across as a complete weirdo!

AmandaPayne Mon 04-Feb-13 14:39:04

Can't help, but I think what you are doing is lovely, so I'll keep you bumped for active condos!

breadandhoney Mon 04-Feb-13 14:37:46

Bless you. Hope your dd finds a companion soon. She is lucky to have such a caring mum.

thornrose Mon 04-Feb-13 14:37:25

Horrible grammar, I'm obviously not looking for parents of lonely girls blush

thornrose Mon 04-Feb-13 14:36:10

I may regret this bit I'm going to do it anyway. My dd is 13 and has just started high school. To cut a long story short all her friends dumped her sad
She has AS which makes it hard for her to make friends, but with the right girl she can be a great friend and the AS is barely noticeable.
We are in West Sussex and I wondered if there are any parents of dd's who are a bit lonely and looking for new friends.
Please don't flame me, if you don't like what I am doing I'd rather you just didn't post! There are many mums on here looking for friends, why not our dd's?

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